Nutellina, yes I experienced the same thing with many of my friends. They have been really great in being there for me but the response is generally the same, "he's a jerk and a pedophile so move on and forget about him....don't waste your time". I was going through fertility treatments with my S for the past year trying to get pregnant so they also said many things like "thank God you didn't get pregnant" and while I agree, it still is a dream of mine and I wish I had MY child. That stuff has been really hard to bear. Finding this support group last week has been like a breath of fresh air finally communicating with people that get it. I do not talk to some of my friends about my personal stuff anymore because I can tell that they are sick of hearing about it. That can be lonely and drive a wedge into your friendships. How do you forget that your entire life was wrapped up in someone who turned out to be evil? How do you forget that all of your dreams have been crushed? Can't do it.....The confusion that permeates our lives is consuming and from what I understand can take a long time to really heal. I have developed an attitude lately that is not the nicest but....."if you can't support me and at least try to understand that it is not that simple then FU!" I know....bad attitude....but it is where I am right now and I am giving myself permission to feel that way and it feels good. I am sorry you lost your baby.....my heart aches for you. Every pregnancy is granted by God....and for whatever reason your bean didn't make it. Maybe it wasn't the right time and he/she is waiting just a little longer to meet you. I will pray that when you do finally meet him/her it will be everything you hoped it will be and more. I am sending my prayers and love to you stranger.

Yeah I know what you mean! Here everyone had the same experience and they totally understand what we all being through. People that didn't, just don't understand. And some of them are also rude in very delicate moments. I personally didn't like that behavior, but I can understand that it can reach a point of annoyance for others!
I understand what you are saying bad what you call bad attitude, maybe it's something you need right now! Being too nice it walways bring a lot of problems! Maybe we need to get a lil different!

Nutellina, yes I have too heard to just move on, find yourself another man who is kind. My friend meant the best as the other in their own mind was thinking too..I am sure...but they do not know how it is to have gone through such pain, the abuse and use and with no love. To be deceived and told you are loved for months or years and it was all a lie. If someone hasnt lived through that "beyond compare pain" , they have no clue. And they should also know that in every relationship, wether it is a normal one or not, no one just moves on, a break up and losing someone we loved are painful under any circumstances if the one part still loves the one who leaves. What she said about "its good that you lost your baby"...I am so sorry! she cannot have known the hurt in what she said, but still thats not what you should say to anyone. I am sorry, Nutellina. Maybe if she wasnt a very good friend its better not to talk to her? only you know how close you were.

It is really NOT just to forget. I cried yesterday how my exS could say he now wouldnt use me anymore. I cant understand how someone can say what he said. So I cried, but thats because I fool myself for a moment thinking its me there who wasnt lovable, with once I come to remember and think he is a sociopath, or he couldnt be so cold and emotionless and say what he said, then I I stop cry when I realize its not who isnt lovable, its him who are cold and heartless.

its not me who isnt lovable, its him who are cold and heartless.

Yes my friend is being very insensitive. She is very strong and I think when you feel like that, you more or less tend to be insensitive to the weakness of others. I'm not sure I want to have someone like that in my life anyway!!!

Forgotten that's the right feeling.....exactly that!! When you realize he is not a normal person and you can't relate to him in a normal way. P are another universe, with no feelings or concerns! They just don't care at all. That's the reality, and in the moment you will understand this deeply in your heart, you will move on easily!

Yes she was insensitive, I have cut out all people who are insensitive, I refused having people around me or being in same room as them when they were people who always would try provoke someone or just be jerks. We dont need such people. Go with what you feel, how close you feel or felt towards your friend is what will make you make the decision. But she doesnt even contact you after saying what she said, she should have given you an apologize at least! if she were to think over what she had said.

Yes, I realize he is a sociopath, I have read over again what a sociopath is and there is no doubt. I got my proof two days ago!!! he exposed his shallowness and exposed openly his lack of conscience in that given situation!!!

After what she said few days ago I sent her a text to know if one of her dancers could teach in my studio. She said " I'm in curch , I'll text you later". She never did! Nice uh?

P are the most sad people I can think of. Let's put it this way.....you touched the worst, now all other people you will meet will be much better and more normal.

Oh myyy! that was not nice, real friends dont do that. So this is a few days ago, she should have answered by now, I would say same day. Or at least next day! I dont call that a good friend.

Thats true, at least I hope and pray so...one are never immune to meet one again but we certainly will not ever let or guard down and always get to know the person first, look for their actions and not what they say and ignore those red flag again.

and NOT ignore those red flag again.

I'm not sure you throw away people like that but you definitely come to realize who are friends and who are acquaintances. There is a big difference. I think sometimes people do not think about what they say and how it hurts. Most people do not try to hurt others on purpose but rather say stupid things especially if they are wrapped up in their own lives. Some people are just naturally not as empathetic and can be cold (but they are not S). I think these are the people that you file away to talk with at parties and at events but maybe not the type of people that you call when you need an ear or advice. I know that I am guilty of not keeping people elbow distance and not recognizing this often enough. It is something I am really working on though....taking inventory of who my real friends are. The insensitive ones get filed away right now. The statement about you losing your baby was completely inappropriate but my guess is that this person has not thought about what she said since. The reason that we ended up where we all did is because our empathy gauge is at full capacity and we would never say these things. But not everyone is like us either. If I had the choice I would still choose our way though.....just with attitude. :)

not all people are normal besides your ex, remember tht the odds you will pick the same kind of man again are high so be very careful. i lost friends too, most dont even no what happened because i dont talk about it but they thought i was such a mess they just stopped being friends. screw them i guess

People don't understand what you have had to put up with, especially if you kept alot of the abuse to yourself and tried to portray the relationship as normal to others.

I am lucky because most of my good friends believed me when I told them that he was abusing me, although they couldn't fathom why I chose to stay in those circumstances.

It was a very good friend of mine who helped me to finally escape by giving me somewhere to stay. Without my friends, I would be god knows where now.

Choose your friends more wisely is the best advice I can give. Not everybody is going to just pick you up and drop you.