Victims of Psychopaths Community Group
Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.
do they think everyone is a game piece for them to benefit from or be entertained? since they get bored and like to create drama. do they not see people as their own person and separate human but as a tool for themselves and their lies?
when they lie do they do this strategically, where they tell one huge lie to one person and a separate lie to another person and another lie to the rest and then sit back and watch everyone go against eachother by planting seperate ideas and separate information in each persons mind.and then do they sit back and eat popcorn to watch the drama unfold and get pity from everyone?//? they tell whats convenient to the right people leaving the victim confused and everyone else thinking the opposite
like will they go out to a lake and yell help to the victim im drowning go to save me quick I need you to save me, then the victim goes over frantically attempting to rescue them and then when they are pulled to land they yell help me again to some people who just walked up and then tell them help me this person is trying to drown me, they threw me into the lake and I was fighting for my life they threatened to kill me quick get me away from the dangerous person
then making the rescuer look like the attempted murderer criminal. then your confused shaking your head that they faked drowning to get you to rescue them and then to make you look like your the criminal who set out to drown them and then people go against you and maybe you land in jail with those new people who just walked up being the witnesses and then your labeled attempted murderer.
meanwhile your confused what did this person want, why would they do that....
is this the game they normally do?act needy and then when they get your sympathy or attention turn around and tell everyone your endangering them and theyre scared and feel harassed by you? and they don't know why your bothering them, even tho they are the one who did everything to mess with your mind and start up with you while you were doing nothing.
what is the point of their games?
when they lie do they do this strategically, where they tell one huge lie to one person and a separate lie to another person and another lie to the rest and then sit back and watch everyone go against eachother by planting seperate ideas and separate information in each persons mind.and then do they sit back and eat popcorn to watch the drama unfold and get pity from everyone?//? they tell whats convenient to the right people leaving the victim confused and everyone else thinking the opposite
like will they go out to a lake and yell help to the victim im drowning go to save me quick I need you to save me, then the victim goes over frantically attempting to rescue them and then when they are pulled to land they yell help me again to some people who just walked up and then tell them help me this person is trying to drown me, they threw me into the lake and I was fighting for my life they threatened to kill me quick get me away from the dangerous person
then making the rescuer look like the attempted murderer criminal. then your confused shaking your head that they faked drowning to get you to rescue them and then to make you look like your the criminal who set out to drown them and then people go against you and maybe you land in jail with those new people who just walked up being the witnesses and then your labeled attempted murderer.
meanwhile your confused what did this person want, why would they do that....
is this the game they normally do?act needy and then when they get your sympathy or attention turn around and tell everyone your endangering them and theyre scared and feel harassed by you? and they don't know why your bothering them, even tho they are the one who did everything to mess with your mind and start up with you while you were doing nothing.
what is the point of their games?
Their point is to create pointlessness in our heads.
To completely unhinge us.
And then they walk away, leaving us a shaking mess, until we finally recover, and then they come back and do it again, for as long as we let them.
Patricia Evans described it well in her book on Controlling Men. She said it is like they are playing with a teddy bear. They pose the bear and make it do what they want.
A criminal profiler said that they view people like a kleenex used and threw away. We don't worry about whether we have taken a good life away from the kleenex, we just use it, dispose of it, and forget about it. That's how psychopaths view us, she said.
But there is more, as you so well capture. They like trickiness, running circles around people, and fooling them. It is amusing to them. This is their sense of humor, their jokes. Never mind it may have real consequences.
they think of themselves, having a grand sense of entitlement. That they just can. For some reason they think that they are above everybody else. Its a sad way to be, but i guess if you have poor impulse control, and lack of control over your own life, the next best thing to do, is be in control of anothers!!
escape: I look down in public as well...I was taught that "outsiders" are not to be trusted, and if you're 'goofiing off' and not working bcz you're talking to outsiders, you will be shunned or yelled at later. And I tend to slouch...I think to be ‘smaller’...like trying to be invisible. Working on that.
I have figured out why I pay more attention to other pple’s feelings that my own too, but I haven’t figured out how to completely fix that...like every other obstacle in this recovery, it takes time. As a kid, we weren’t allowed to be ‘too happy’ or ‘too sad’. So I learned to ‘shove my feelings down”. It still takes me time to figure out how I feel. Like, if someone says something insulting to me, my first reaction is to emotionally shut down/freeze, and ignore it, and I don’t realize until later when it’s still bothering me and that it hurt my feelings or was actually abusive.
I also learned to pay very close attention to other ppl’s feelings (like a blind child learns to use his hearing more than a sighted child), bcz it was vital to know when it was ‘ok’ to ask to use the phone, or ask to go outside or to the park, vs when it was ‘safer’ to just stay in my room and read and keep quiet. Every day wasn’t like that ... but there were enough of them to ‘train me’.
Ppl usually laugh at me when I say I’m a Narc Magnet, and this post and all of you make me feel less alone. I wish none of us needed help or ended up here though. :(
The rest you say above also resonates with me. I was just talking with my daughter about how we both go emotionally numb and do not recognize or process our emotions after both growing up with controlling and dominating fathers.
After being the target of N/P abuse, we learn to scan others to assess safety of everything. I also have a "processing delay". I often think later that I should have been more careful, shared less, or should react more because of abuse, etc. We shut down to protect ourselves and then process when it's safer and we can think, probably when we're by ourselves.
Madness.
lol...we both correct ourselves after we post. ;-P