Victims of Psychopaths Community Group
Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.
I'm throwing this out here because as we all know the S and the N are a high demand group (party of 1).
Common Emotional Difficulties
After Leaving a High Demand Group
The following emotional and psychological* difficulties are common with survivors from the Worldwide Church of God, Philadelphia Church of God and any totalistic splinter groups.
Not every survivor will experience all of these, or may suffer from additional ones. Experiencing any of this does not mean you are defective. In some cases these feelings may take years to subside, but it is important to realize that, while painful, they are common feelings with exiters. In time they will pass.
This list overlaps with Common Spiritual Difficulties After Leaving a High Demand Group.
*Some psychosomatic symptoms are also listed.
• Enormous Feelings of Betrayal
• Feelings of Spiritual Rape of the Soul
• Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Trauma becomes crystallized a few days after a traumatic event, such as exiting an abusive, high demand group. Several of a cluster of symptoms can develop, including spontaneous crying, suicidal thoughts, emotional numbing, phobias, social withdrawal, flashbacks, amnesia, anxiety, depression, shame, guilt, self-loathing, fear of going insane.
• Anger or Rage
Toward the group and leader; toward oneself; suppression of anger in the group actually contributed to depression and a sense of helplessness.
• Denial
• Identity Confusion/Disorientation
The pre-cult personality--or real self--struggles with the in-cult personality1 that was imposed by the group. There can be difficulty integrating the cultic world with the outside world.
• Dissociation (or Dissociative Identity Disorder)
Not being in touch with reality or those around them; inability to communicate.
• Floating (a.k.a. trancing out)
Getting triggered into cult mode, flashbacks into the cult mind-set; thoughts of returning to the group, nostalgic feelings (part of dissociation).
• Panic and Anxiety Attacks
• Obsessive Thoughts
• Depression
• Psychosomatic Symptoms
Headache; stomach ache; backaches; fatigue; asthma; skin rashes; lethargy; sexuality problems.
• Problems or Inability in Making Decisions
Because of the dependency fostered by the group.
• Lack of Motivation
• Inability to Concentrate
With short-term memory loss.
• Fear
"What if I am wrong?" "What if harmful events actually do happen?" "I can't ever be happy outside the group." "What if I run into a present member?" Includes phobias and fear of going crazy.
• Grief & Sense of Loss
Grieving loss of innocence, idealism, spirituality, self, pride; sense of purpose, meaning and belonging in life; support system; friends and family lost in the group; loss of time, goals and youth.
• Guilt/Shame
For getting involved, for the people they recruited, things done while in the group; for leaving.
• Lack of Trust
Of group situations; deep suspicions about others motives and attitudes.
• Intense Loneliness
Strong and unique bonds were forged in the group.
• Sense of Purposelessness & Disconnection
Missing the peak experiences of the group.
• Sense of Isolation/Alienation
"No one can understand what I am going through."
• Overly Critical of Oneself and Others
Due to incorporating the harsh attitudes of the cult leader.
• Seeing Everything in Black and White
Cults do not teach to look for the gray areas.
• Problems Having Boundaries
Boundaries were violated time and again in the group until one lost sense of which boundaries were appropriate.
• Feelings of Inferiority and Worthlessness
Cult leaders continually blame members.
• Hypersensitive
To anger and rebuffs from others
• Sleep Disorders Including nightmares and insomnia.
• Eating Disorders
• Fear of Intimacy and Commitment
• Problems with Career or Employment
Because of years in the group; lost job opportunities, etc.
• Unable to Deal With Conflicts
• Impatience with Recovery
Common Emotional Difficulties
After Leaving a High Demand Group
The following emotional and psychological* difficulties are common with survivors from the Worldwide Church of God, Philadelphia Church of God and any totalistic splinter groups.
Not every survivor will experience all of these, or may suffer from additional ones. Experiencing any of this does not mean you are defective. In some cases these feelings may take years to subside, but it is important to realize that, while painful, they are common feelings with exiters. In time they will pass.
This list overlaps with Common Spiritual Difficulties After Leaving a High Demand Group.
*Some psychosomatic symptoms are also listed.
• Enormous Feelings of Betrayal
• Feelings of Spiritual Rape of the Soul
• Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Trauma becomes crystallized a few days after a traumatic event, such as exiting an abusive, high demand group. Several of a cluster of symptoms can develop, including spontaneous crying, suicidal thoughts, emotional numbing, phobias, social withdrawal, flashbacks, amnesia, anxiety, depression, shame, guilt, self-loathing, fear of going insane.
• Anger or Rage
Toward the group and leader; toward oneself; suppression of anger in the group actually contributed to depression and a sense of helplessness.
• Denial
• Identity Confusion/Disorientation
The pre-cult personality--or real self--struggles with the in-cult personality1 that was imposed by the group. There can be difficulty integrating the cultic world with the outside world.
• Dissociation (or Dissociative Identity Disorder)
Not being in touch with reality or those around them; inability to communicate.
• Floating (a.k.a. trancing out)
Getting triggered into cult mode, flashbacks into the cult mind-set; thoughts of returning to the group, nostalgic feelings (part of dissociation).
• Panic and Anxiety Attacks
• Obsessive Thoughts
• Depression
• Psychosomatic Symptoms
Headache; stomach ache; backaches; fatigue; asthma; skin rashes; lethargy; sexuality problems.
• Problems or Inability in Making Decisions
Because of the dependency fostered by the group.
• Lack of Motivation
• Inability to Concentrate
With short-term memory loss.
• Fear
"What if I am wrong?" "What if harmful events actually do happen?" "I can't ever be happy outside the group." "What if I run into a present member?" Includes phobias and fear of going crazy.
• Grief & Sense of Loss
Grieving loss of innocence, idealism, spirituality, self, pride; sense of purpose, meaning and belonging in life; support system; friends and family lost in the group; loss of time, goals and youth.
• Guilt/Shame
For getting involved, for the people they recruited, things done while in the group; for leaving.
• Lack of Trust
Of group situations; deep suspicions about others motives and attitudes.
• Intense Loneliness
Strong and unique bonds were forged in the group.
• Sense of Purposelessness & Disconnection
Missing the peak experiences of the group.
• Sense of Isolation/Alienation
"No one can understand what I am going through."
• Overly Critical of Oneself and Others
Due to incorporating the harsh attitudes of the cult leader.
• Seeing Everything in Black and White
Cults do not teach to look for the gray areas.
• Problems Having Boundaries
Boundaries were violated time and again in the group until one lost sense of which boundaries were appropriate.
• Feelings of Inferiority and Worthlessness
Cult leaders continually blame members.
• Hypersensitive
To anger and rebuffs from others
• Sleep Disorders Including nightmares and insomnia.
• Eating Disorders
• Fear of Intimacy and Commitment
• Problems with Career or Employment
Because of years in the group; lost job opportunities, etc.
• Unable to Deal With Conflicts
• Impatience with Recovery
-
My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
It is difficult for those that have not been through it to understand. I think it is difficult for even the victims to understand - and they've actually experienced it. The PD feels and behaves in a way that is so foreign to us - it hard to wrap one's head around it. You'll find a lot of understanding here.
I will say that being able to share my thoughts has helped immensely for me. Part of my problem is being so afraid of his and his family's reactions that I have kept all this secret from Feb until July 14th. Out of fear, shame, shock, etc . . . all my keeping it secret did was allow them to further victimize me. So I guess I'm at the point where I am willing to shout it out from the highest mountain top - although, my friends/family tell me that makes me sound like the crazy one.
I have a lot of anxiety though related to my baby. He wants to see her. I cannot deal with him or I suffer emotionally for hours. I'm afraid to withholding her and getting in trouble with the courts. But I don't want him alone with her either. He is just like Casey Anthony - someone who lies until proven without a doubt that it is a lie. Who's to say he won't hurt her in the future? How do the rest of you deal with custody issues with your S?