His victims to lower my guard, feel sorry for him and so that I would connect with him. What happened to him was tragic but he took no responsibility for healing, he never challenged his parents, he wouldn't have counselling, he took literally all his problems out on the women who loved him.

It was my experience that I had paid dearly for every wrong thing ever done to him whilst he still worshipped his parents. My child would have had a bad life I'm sure as she would have paid for his childhood, he would have made sure of that.

"It's about doing good and feeling good about being good", said one psychologist. Most times the psychopath is not emotionally rewarded as a child for being good. The mother should hold that position and most times they are dysfunctional. There are exceptions, but that's about it in most of the ones O have known and studied.

I think my ex resented his mother for not protecting him as a child, he worshipped her and his father. The people who abused him!! They were very interfering in his life. A toxic family.

My Covert Narcissist husband had repressed memory of abuse when he was 10-14. When his memories started returning, I set him up with a great therapist. He was molested and raped by a teen in his neighborhood. His therapist said even though he had repressed the memory, it still affected his behavior. When the memories came back he lost it. He went through our savings, joined tons of dating sites, tried to seek out prostitutes on Craigslist and had an overall childish response to life. All of this ruined our marriage. We are now friends and even tried to get back together, but we are just married with a friendship.

They do deal with things on a superficial level and look for fast ways for self- gratification instead of going deep.Children search to do what feels good and don't really think of the consequences and what they need to do and responsibilities . They can fool others with amazing psychological analysis of their state of mind, but it''s a show.

The very mention of counselling would send my ex into a rage. He blamed me for pretty much everything and he was convincing enough to make me take the blame on many occasions. After I left him I had a lot of counselling! It did me good.

Just now I remembered my ex once told me that counsellors were 'easy to fool'. Yeah that sums it all up really, most people wouldn't even think of saying that! Only a disordered person wishing to hide his disorder.

My ex had the saddest sad sack stories. I became very close with his cousins even more so after I had him jailed and we split. He lived with several cousins in his grandparents house when growing up (cultural thing) so I have had the opportunity to learn some things. He tried to limit the intimacy I had with his family when we were together. I now know why. His family became very supportive to me and tried to help me after the house of cards fell. I would find myself in a normal conversation with them and something would come up about childhood. I would mention a certain memory that P had told me and his cousins would look at me with this very bewildered look on the faces. It was because he fabricated the hardships. Totally made up lies. The P was a trouble maker for most of his life and had been using people and doing atrocious things since he was a kid. They only tolerated his crap because he was family. He has now crossed the tolerating threshold. His childhood was not terrible as he claimed and all of the other cousins have turned out lovely. Hmmmm.

That rings bells with me, Live. My XP told me about multiple rapes by his father. When I talked to his second ex-wife, she said, "Well, that was bad, but it was one time and it wasn't..." Apparently, it wasn't rape. He had described this to me, dozens of times, in e-mails, and had told me it was many incidents and for years.

Until recently, I still could not make sense of what his ex-wife had told me. but of course, I get it now. He made it up. He had apparently told her about one incident of something inappropriate. God knows if even that was true.

He used to get drunk and tell me lurid details about this, in e-mails. Just incredible. Sickening. Considering the things he told his friends and family about me, the stories have been utterly false, without one grain of truth

Pain and trauma are both relative concepts anyway I think. I know my ex stories were for the most part real as he was not the same race as his parents - so you know at least some of it is real. It was the ease and speed in which he told me that was always unsettling.

I am not talking about a concept such as "I was abused." I am talking about details of the abuse, what actually happened.

I was an abused child and I am able to recount precisely what happened to me. I wrote a book about it. My sister and I can sit and talk and we remember things pretty much identically. I do not agree that people seriously abused as children make up lurid details about abuse that never happened.

It is generally accepted in the therapeutic world that even the children themselves do not lie about their abuse. Psychopaths/sociopaths lie about having been abused as children. I don't know any other category of person who does this.

The story of somebody's childhood can tell you a lot about him.
They don't have to lie about the abuse, it can be real. But instead of treating it they are putting the mask on.