Elsacub. I think we married the same guy. Yikes. I found myself
Finding articles about stupid mistakes people had made that made
the news just so he could feed on that drama instead of me. Sheesh

Whoops didn't see the second page of posting. Thanks kroach
For your post Chilling

THATS WHAT WE ALL NEED TO REMEMBER WHEN WE START MISSING THEM.

Thankyou kroach, beautiful!
Yes bellanomore, it came at the right time, I had been kind of missing him since yesterday, rather, I was craving again for the addiction to a poison

sono, it truly is an addiction we have to these people. that's why its so hard to break away and stay away. whenever you start to miss them just re read that article above because its the sad truth. they want only to hurt and destroy us in every way possible even though it seems the opposite when we first meet them. don't give up

"He’s not a lost little boy hiding behind a tough-guy persona—and his disorder is not a defense mechanism for deep-seated fragilities."

Thank you for posting this, kroach! I have been thinking what if he is lost and have fragilities. I dont think that much anymore. If they had any of that they wouldnt continue harming us.

kroach - thank you so much for that post. It so describes my brother and first husband - there is no winning with these people. Getting away from them is the only survival tactic we can take.

LindaJean_Hello and I am glad the post helped. :) When my mind and my heart start to struggle over the memories of him ;) I just simply re-read that article to put it all back into perspective :)

Have a good day :)

I really needed to read this right now.

I was quick to make excuses for his behavior before I knew what he was. When I told my family or his about his bizarre behavior they all said, "he must be depressed." He's never suffered from depression. Later, when i realized he was a sociopath, I started seeing his behavior in a different light. Always drama and if there wasn't enough already, he'd create some. Avoiding all personal responsibility until it becomes a burden for everyone around him. I thought my increasing panic attacks were something wrong with me, and i have worked so hard for so long to try to control them.

Just a few weeks ago, he watched me look for something i thought I had misplaced. I asked him a few times if he picked it up by accident. He must have enjoyed watching my anguish, because after an hour of it, he calmly, without a word, went to his car and retrieved the thing i had been looking for. It was a perfect example of gaslighting, although he's usually more sneaky about it.

No doubt in my mind they take pleasure from the pain they cause. It's not forgetfulness, depression or anything normal. It's sheer hatred, disdain and the most twisted head games I've ever experienced. The gaslighting example is nothing compared to the times he's caused or just simply taken pleasure in something that has physically harmed to me, while making it seem like an accident...with a smile on his face, no apology, no "are you ok??!!" . From their duping delight to the sheer willingness to go out of their way to cause pain, no question in my mind they enjoy it, therefore it only stands to reason they are proud of themselves when they achieve their goal of hurting others.

I use to make the same excuses for mine about depression...or even chronic pain. I don't think he suffered from either.

Living with him, I had panic attacks too...because I NEVER knew what was going to happen next...It is like having NO control over your own life....seriously, it is like being a puppet and the sociopath being the puppet master....

Like you said...ALWAYS drama....if not enough, then he would eagerly create more. Then he would tell people that we were fighting...I would think...we ain't fighting...YOU ARE fighting...crazy shit.

He would find the things that I enjoyed doing with him ( i would like a desperate mother raising a 'challenged child' 'praise his dumb ass for 'good behavior' hoping the goodness would continue...but I know now that only enabled him to find my 'weaknesses' my happiness and USE IT AGAINST me !!! ) LOL

....such as coming to my work place for lunch....and then ( out of the blue ) he would use that against me and NOT come...knowing that I would be disappointed.....so he could start some kind of crazy drama...usually THAT incident began with the 'silent treatment'. I may have thought it was going to be a 'good' day...we'd have lunch together, a nice evening, and so on.....only to have him turn it into a drama filled day, night, week or month.....

He LOVED doing this stuff...

Their stunts to cause us pain, anguish, grief and frustration are endless....

It is PURE evil insanity on their part.

Whatever it is they feel or not feel it is not remorse. My sister abused me her whole life and never one showed any remorse. She was violent, sneeky, manipulative and felt justified in what she did.

I think they aren't so much proud of what they do, but more like they are exhilarated they had that form of affect on people, sort of like a god complex. What we may see as ruin may be nothing but breathing and blinking to them, especially if they are sadistic in nature. Your questions seem to be based more from a sadistic POV then a sociopath, but don't take my word for it completely, just and opinion.

There would be no point in trying to ask them anything, as they would only come up with some bull response on what they think it is you want them to say. I think you are better off just cutting ties, and moving forward one day at a time :)

I haven't signed on for awhile, dealing with the drama of my divorce.. distracting to say the least. He ( the sadistic sociopath) moved out of our marital home in March 2012. I warned him that I was filing divorce soon after and while he was having his fun at bike week, I filed divorce. Make no mistake, I wanted him to move out, but I didn't make it too obvious. I made it look like it was his decision and that was best to get him to stick with it. But behind the face of "go for it," I was rejoicing that I was getting rid of him, finally!

After bike week and the email I sent while he was out of town, he returned and didn't contact me, nothing. I had emailed him that I had filed, but sent it to his work so he wouldn't get it until he returned home. I waited for the explosion but nothing. Finally, another week passed and I sent him an email to ask if he received my e-mail about the filing of divorce.

He replied matter of fact and calm that yes, and no big deal. All was good. OMG! I was relieved but surprised too. That meant he was living it up with his woman or whomever he moved out to be with. I also knew he had moved out to be with someone. I didn't care! Anyway, six months passed and no movement on my divorce at all. I could see it was going no where and finally I realized my attorney had been bought off. He told me he didn't think it was any big deal if I walked out and left everything to the husband. He said, " You can find someone else quickly and remarry. " I was very distressed.

So I quietly found a great attorney and I had her send notfication to the old one and he was released from his duty of sitting on his butt, waiting to throw me under the bus.

Now, it is another year later and allot of craziness. My attorney, a female is great. She has really given him and his attorney a good work out. He finally lost big time on some of the pre-trial hearings and the judge has his number, no doubt. I know this from the Rulings and also from the things the judge has said to him. The last hearing was ordered because he wasn't following the judge's order about the support he owed me. He was paying it the way he wanted to pay.

Now, he has fired his attorney and is representing himself. I have learned that he had me followed by P.I.s during the last part of our separation and the reason, I do not know. I have the documentation my attorney ordered them to produce for me to see. Creepy because there are pictures of me around town, shopping, etc. So bad! I feel horrible that my privacy was invaded. So he tried several times to move back into our house with me, but I told him "NO way!" This, after I hired my new attorney.

Now, I learn that last December while I was being deposed by he and his attorney they had a P.I. bring a GPS devise out and attach it to my car. So that stayed on my car for awhile. Finally the dealership where I take it (after I asked them to look for one), must have removed it and placed it on another car that looked like mine. So they followed the wrong car for awhile until they figured it out. LOL Serves them right.

I suspected he was following me somehow, but wasn't sure about the GPS. He had to tell me about it, because he likes to boast about how he got me. He certainly did get me. I feel terrible and I don't go out any more than I have to go out. I feel bad about all of it. He doesn't have any shame and told me all of this in detail over the phone recently. He was trying to get me to drop my attorney and meet with him so we could work out our divorce, ourselves. LOL YEAH right!
So now since he knows that isn't going to work and he can't manipulate me anymore, he is mad again at me. And that is fine with me. I like it that way best. He threatened me in a very coverted way when we spoke on phone. He is getting worse now, than ever before.

He was a cheater, an emotional abuser, he flaunted his girlfriends in front of me the last two years. He asked women out in front of me.
He took me to a couple or three parties at his co-workers homes and I think they were swingers parties. He didn't want me to attend them with him, but I insist. And this is what I saw: A bunch of screwed up couples doing screwed up things. No children present. We left early so they could get started, I guess. Everyone there treated me as if I had intruded on something. I was either treated with extreme indifference or rudeness.

He was cruel and inhumane towards me in the last two or three years, growing worse. He was evil actually. He laughed at my distress and confusion, taunted me about everything he did to me to cause my intense suffering.

I fell very ill in 2007 and I was hospitalized many, many times with stomach pains and heart racing, irregular beats, extreme weaknesses and vomiting blood, so forth. The doctors were baffered. I believe now he was poisoning me. Because each time I was in the hospital, I stopped hurting and improved but when I came home, I started hurting agan.
Over time, the pain intensified. And I felt I was going to die for sure. Some of the doctors thought so too.
I almost wanted to so I would stop the agony of the pain I was feeling. He didn't want to be married but he wanted the money from our marriage (very long term), to remain with him. He hates my guts and that is putting it lightly. I believe he will come after me, try to have me killed before he allows me to take a big chunk of "his" check each month, as I am doing now. He will do something, there is no way he is going to allow me to walk. That is how I feel anyway. I curse the day I met him and I was a fool to ever get involved with him. He is certainly mentally ill. I was in a deep denial and people like him are very addicting to certain types of people, like myself. I have changed though for the better. I can't stand him now or even his voice over the phone. He makes me feel sick whenver I hear him or see him. UGH! I think he took me for granted and didn't think I would leave him, but he misjudged the situation. Oh, he moved out to take a break from our marriage. That was his M.O. and had worked for him in the past with me, so why not again. He was surprised when I stayed away from him and kept him away from me. He didn't think I had it in me to do that, but I showed him! More important, I showed myself. I don't need a mentally ill person playing games with my head or my heart. Time corrects that feeling of constant craving for his types. So happy to get rid of him now!

good for you skyler