Victims of Psychopaths Community Group
Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.
So, recently I joined a chat in order to meet new friends, and after a while one guy contacted me. He started talking to me in a joking manner, asking me a lot of questions, but didn´t want to answer any questions I asked him. He seemed interesting to me, so I continued talking to him. After a while, he asked me in a joking manner if I want to marry him (?). I answered, "lol, of course not". He said that if I want to marry he has no problem with it. (?) I just figured he was joking. But he still remained mysterious. I said, ok, next time we talk you have to tell me things about yourself. He agreed. Next time we spoke, he answered a couple of questions I asked him. He said he was a writer, but works in a coffee bar currently. I also have to say that I noticed he uses emotional blackmailing. Like, I say I have to go and he answers "Of course." or "Yeah, I knew it." The second time we spoke he said he liked me and I answered "But you don´t evan know me", he answered that "A fortune cookie told him he will find a soulmate today". We also talked about relationships and stuff and after a while I was kind of quiet, he asked why was I quiet and I said "I´m thinking", he asks "What are you thinking about?" and I said "About some boys" and he answeres "You are thinking about other boys while talking to me?" I mean, wtf? Why shouldn´t I? That really striked me as awkward and the conversation kind of reminded me of my exP. So I decided I wouldn´t talk to him anymore, but at the same time was kind of worried, what if I´m wrong, maybe I´m making this up. Next time I was online, he contacted me, but was very quiet. I figured it was a different game he plays. I asked him why is he so quiet and mysterious, he said that if he wasn´t mysterious I wouldn´t evan talk to him. It´s all just so weird and I´m afraid not to fall in the hands of another psychopath, but then again I´m worried that maybe I´m wrong (although I know I have to listen to my gut instinct). What do you think?
I think the biggest red flag for me would be the fortune cookie nonesense (have you ever tasted a fortune cookie??, noone would willingly buy these things LOL!)
You need to trust your gut Sunny and stop second guessing yourself.
Interesting, Charming, A Good Sense of Humour, Inquisitive and Interested In You As A Person are not red flags unless there seems to be other aspects of him that contradict this projected persona. Asking you to marry him might have been a ploy to assess your reaction to such a ridiculous request, is he looking for vulnerability and weakness indirectly perhaps? Emotional blackmail is also not a good sign. As for the fortune cookie nonesense ... beware of men who declare you are their soulmate after 5 minutes of knowing you. I also think you should beware of this "You are thinking about other boys while talking to me?" I'd also be very suspicious of evasiveness and people who are vague about their own lives.
Make yourself a difficult target for these predators, if you must look online for companionship, and they will move onto an easier target. Ask questions and assert your boundaries. If you feel that someone is trying to manipulate you by saying things like 'Yeah, I knew it' when it's time for you to leave, just ask them simply what they mean?? And always always walways suspect flattery, it is not the same thing as a compliment. Flattery is a manipulation tactic, even if it is said in jest!