typo...What I'm learning is to keep moving forward with my life...

That was awesome, I need to read it often. It reminds me of how blessed I am to even be able to give and review love,to have my boys and all of my family in my life. He may have material items but i have soooo much more. I have LOVE,COMPASSION,and EMPATHY. And those are all worth so much more. AMEN

Typo- receive

I'm glad you found it helpful and hope it will help others heal. I ended up reading five of her blogs and am now feeling so much better. Finding our true self is so very important.

Thanks for posting, MovingOn. I have read this article before, but I took the time to read through it again. The beginning seems to suck me in because it describes my situation so well- in particular how my ex has just sailed off into the sunset and living a great new life with a new woman. And whilst I know everything in his life is fake and the connections he experiences with others are false, I’m not sure I can understand how a sociopath (who fees no emotion) can end up with this emotional void Melanie describes. Sociopaths are a step up from the simple narcissist and don’t just chase the material things mentioned in this post. They chase power, control, sex and entertainment and by manipulating victims such as ourselves, they get what they want in life to fill their void.
[Does getting what you want in life = happiness or at least contentment? ]
Sociopaths have no desire to feel emotional attachments so I do not believe they can crave or miss something they have no need for.

What has me a little depressed upon reading this, is knowing that the sociopath (or narcissist, in this example) will continue to exploit people and suck them dry until one day they “get old and sick, they lose their looks, their charm and their charisma.” What an awful thought. I have spoken to other members on this board whose sociopathic ex partners are in their late 50s! These monsters still have an ability to destroy the lives of the women they get involved with. So when would an abuser be old enough to lose their charm? It’s not a comforting thought considering my exNS is in his 30s. To me that sounds like many more broken hearts to come. And to think even one day at the ‘end of the line’ described, he might realise the pain he has caused me along with others and perhaps the face the emptiness he MAY (or may not even) experience… Does that even begin to make up for the hurt and pain he has caused others who may live a continued life of struggle due to financial, emotional or mental hardship? To me it kind of feels like someone asking me to jump off a building and saying they will put a pillow on the ground to cushion my fall. It really doesn’t make a difference, as much I wish it would.

I do apologise for the negativity expressed in the above. It is my personal opinion on this particular post on the blog. Most of the content is really great and a good portion of this post was good too. Just parts of it niggled at me. Perhaps this occasional attitude of negativity is detrimental to my healing…
However, I think this is a really great post to encourage victims to move on by taking focus off the narcissist’s new life and the loss the victim has experienced by shifting it to the focus on the victim’s healing and learning of life lessons through the experience. Really beneficial! Most definitely, one of the biggest things to learn from a devastating relationship such as the ones we have experienced is that at the end of the day, for normal people, with consciences anyway, material things do not really matter. Love and happiness do. I hope we all find that someday and for those of us who have, I hope you get to experience it for the rest of your days! I will have another look through the rest of Melanie’s blog because I do think she provides a very valuable source of knowledge on dealing with narcissism.

thank you for posting this and loverfighter i think you did a good job of discussing both sides of what were left with. its not all positive results at the end and i its ok to talk about the negative impact this has had on our lives. for me it was good because i did lose almost all my material possesions in or around this relationship due to moving to another country to be with my ex S. ive had the hardest time with being so angry at myself for making the wrong desicion and choice back then such affecting my life in such a painfull way. my ex S used to tell me (before i moved there ) that there is no peace to be found in life through material possesions and on and on.....maybe he doesnt care because he is a sociopath and he had lost everything by poor choices he made and not wanting to work for a damn thing and feels it is just owed to him, who knows. i have had a rough time coming to the realization that it is not stuff that makes us happy or at peace but in truth true happiness and peace are found within ones own self. all the stuff in the world wont change that, but it sucks to find that out the hard way. good blog thank u