Victims of Psychopaths Community Group
Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.
I am so glad to see this group . . . and so many of you!
I spent my late teens and young adult years in the throws of psychopathic aftermath. Reading the stages of grief was very enlightening. At 24 I sought treatment through Al-Anon, and came to an understanding over the years that these antisocial characteristics are part of the disease of alcoholism. Even though I divorced my husband at 20, the psychological damage I inflicted on myself has continued into recovery as I have looked to my own inner workings as a way to correct the sick circumstances. My thinking became so warped through years of being devalued that I just couldn't know, love, or accept myself!
Although I had divorced this person 1 year after we were married and after I had had a child, he used his local connections in our community to fight me as I sought sole custody. I was a prime target, wore my vulnerabilities on my sleeve as a young new mom with no social support. It has been a thrilling ride for him I'm sure as time and time again I lost the fight for sole custody of my precious child whom I was trying to save, and with my controlled rage came across to the patriarchs - judge's, lawyer's, even my own dad - as a snide and pompous little girl. This fed into a kind of demonizing the victim phenomenon.
Recovery in Al-Anon has been useful in raising my daughter in a healthy environment. She's 14 years old, and just recently made her own decision not to endure the abuse of her father anymore. But I am now learning that I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY! I want to go where I want, do what I want, explore with my family, and see the lighter side of things. I'm completely burned out on manipulator's and negative energy. It's self-limiting and destructive. I don't know why so many of these people exist - if it's a product of our culture? I just don't know. But there are so many cool things that are going on, so many positive people. I feel, as I am understanding what happened to me, that I don't need to apologize and that I can leave this pain behind without a care or concern.
The family disease of alcoholism is part of my situation, but definitely there is a pattern of being highly susceptible to abuse in my past. Oddly, I would attribute this more to a lack of acceptance by my older sister and highly passive parents that were completely absorbed in their own lives. Yes, I've traced alcoholism in our lineage - but there is much more of an underlying coldness. I don't want to be a part of it anymore, but I'm constantly pulled back into it.
Sorry for spouting all the negativity. Not much insight, just lots of pain. I have found great pleasure in travel with my husband and kids, and am pursuing a move out of this location just as soon as possible. Even then, I combat fear and anxiety of somehow being pulled back in.
Thanks for being here!
EFCarter
I spent my late teens and young adult years in the throws of psychopathic aftermath. Reading the stages of grief was very enlightening. At 24 I sought treatment through Al-Anon, and came to an understanding over the years that these antisocial characteristics are part of the disease of alcoholism. Even though I divorced my husband at 20, the psychological damage I inflicted on myself has continued into recovery as I have looked to my own inner workings as a way to correct the sick circumstances. My thinking became so warped through years of being devalued that I just couldn't know, love, or accept myself!
Although I had divorced this person 1 year after we were married and after I had had a child, he used his local connections in our community to fight me as I sought sole custody. I was a prime target, wore my vulnerabilities on my sleeve as a young new mom with no social support. It has been a thrilling ride for him I'm sure as time and time again I lost the fight for sole custody of my precious child whom I was trying to save, and with my controlled rage came across to the patriarchs - judge's, lawyer's, even my own dad - as a snide and pompous little girl. This fed into a kind of demonizing the victim phenomenon.
Recovery in Al-Anon has been useful in raising my daughter in a healthy environment. She's 14 years old, and just recently made her own decision not to endure the abuse of her father anymore. But I am now learning that I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY! I want to go where I want, do what I want, explore with my family, and see the lighter side of things. I'm completely burned out on manipulator's and negative energy. It's self-limiting and destructive. I don't know why so many of these people exist - if it's a product of our culture? I just don't know. But there are so many cool things that are going on, so many positive people. I feel, as I am understanding what happened to me, that I don't need to apologize and that I can leave this pain behind without a care or concern.
The family disease of alcoholism is part of my situation, but definitely there is a pattern of being highly susceptible to abuse in my past. Oddly, I would attribute this more to a lack of acceptance by my older sister and highly passive parents that were completely absorbed in their own lives. Yes, I've traced alcoholism in our lineage - but there is much more of an underlying coldness. I don't want to be a part of it anymore, but I'm constantly pulled back into it.
Sorry for spouting all the negativity. Not much insight, just lots of pain. I have found great pleasure in travel with my husband and kids, and am pursuing a move out of this location just as soon as possible. Even then, I combat fear and anxiety of somehow being pulled back in.
Thanks for being here!
EFCarter
deleted_user
I think with me the thing to learn from all this is that we are good and trusting people and not to engage ourselves with the S in our life at all. I have learned by my therapist to have NO CONTACT eventhough we have a child together because this type of person will suck you dry. I see it as a new beginning and a great start from what is to be the rest of my beautiful life. You have to do what is best for you and all will come around into a great life for you and your daughter!
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