Veterans Support Group
This community is dedicated to all veterans of armed forces, and the health and life challenges they face. A veteran often refers to retired armed services personnel, one one who has served in the armed forces and has an honorable discharge. Join many others in sharing your experiences to find support.
I would very much like some Veterans opinions about my story and myself. I have been very conflicted about my time in the military and if I deserve to be considered a Veteran.
Please read my story and give me your honest opinion.
Just out of High School I attempted to enlist in the Navy Seabees. Our country was still drafting at that time for Viet Nam. I have always considered myself to be very patriotic and wanted very much to do my duty to my country. I went to get my physical and at the appropriate point in the physical I explained to them that I got migraine head aches. When I get these I get sort of blind spots. Kind of like looking into one of those Kaleidoscope things. After about a half hour my vision clears up and then I get the bad head ache but not always. My thinking was that I did not want to get discharged later for not telling them about it. I also did not want to be in a situation that I would be putting anyone in a bad situation if they thought the migraines would be a problem. They sent me to the line for the 4F guys and I went home.
I really felt strongly about doing my part for my country and really wanted to be a Seabee. I waited a couple of years and never received my 4F papers. So I again went to the recruiters office. I explained everything to him. By this time they were no longer drafting. He said that we should try it again. So I again went to the physical. I explained everything the same as before. This time I made it in.
While in boot camp I got a migraine. Fortunately it was at the end of the day and did not interfere with anything. By morning it was gone and I made it through the day.
Between boot camp and A school I got married to my High School sweetheart. I went to Equipment Operator A school in California. While there my wife came out for a couple of weeks and told me she did not want to be married anymore that she was gay. As you might imagine this through me for quite a loop. I did not expect this at all. I guess I was young and blind. After A school I went home for leave. While there we went to court and got an annulment. I went on to my first duty station in Roosevelt Roads Puerto Rico. By the time I got there I had a very bad attitude. I had a lot of trouble concentrating and I spent most of the time daydreaming about what had happened. I just couldnt seem to get my head on straight and just kept thinking about her and what had happened and trying to figure out why. I was able to function enough to keep my self out of the brig somehow. I did come close a couple of times with my bad attitude. One day while working on the airfield I was walking down the side of a C140 aircraft and daydreaming as I did a lot of the time. I noticed the heat from the auxiliary engine just in time to drop to my knees to prevent the exhaust from taking my head off. A couple of guys saw what had happened and came running up to see if I was all right. That is when I decided I needed help. I had no business working on an airfield with the frame of mind I was in. Someone was going to get hurt by my inability to keep my mind on what I was doing. I went to the hospital and saw a Shrink. After about 4 or 5 visits he told me he was going to recommend that I be sent back stateside. This was OK with me because I thought that once stateside I could get off base and communicate with others and maybe get my head on straight. I thought I would be able to get away from the strict military lifestyle and being in the States I would be able to communicate with others. I was not able to do this there because I could not speak Spanish. Then the next visit he said that they had changed their minds and they had a medical board and were recommending me for discharge due to Depressive Reaction. I did not want this as I did want to finish my duty. I thought that the original idea of going back to the states would allow me to get my head on straight and be able to finish my time. However I could not talk him out of it. I was sent to Norfolk and discharged from there with a General Discharge under honorable conditions. I was only in the Navy for about 1 year, 1 month and a few days.
This has been very difficult for me to deal with. I am still not sure just how I feel. Most of the time I feel like I did not do my duty. I dont feel like I am entitled to any Veterans benefits. I do use my Vet. Benefits to get my meds because they are just so much cheaper than without. I really cant afford them from the civilian pharmacy. Every time I go to the VA clinic I feel ashamed and like I should not be there. I was very proud to be a Seabee and had planned that for several years before I went in. Now I just dont feel like I should tell anyone most of the time. I feel ashamed that I did not complete my time. I want to get more involved with Veterans Groups but just dont feel like I have earned the right.
Please advise what you think about this situation I find myself in. How do you, being Veterans, feel about my story and me? Do I deserve to consider myself a Veteran? Do I deserve to use Veterans Benefits? I really want to know what other Vets think. This has been eating at me for a very long time now and I need to hear from Veterans about how they feel about someone like me.
Please read my story and give me your honest opinion.
Just out of High School I attempted to enlist in the Navy Seabees. Our country was still drafting at that time for Viet Nam. I have always considered myself to be very patriotic and wanted very much to do my duty to my country. I went to get my physical and at the appropriate point in the physical I explained to them that I got migraine head aches. When I get these I get sort of blind spots. Kind of like looking into one of those Kaleidoscope things. After about a half hour my vision clears up and then I get the bad head ache but not always. My thinking was that I did not want to get discharged later for not telling them about it. I also did not want to be in a situation that I would be putting anyone in a bad situation if they thought the migraines would be a problem. They sent me to the line for the 4F guys and I went home.
I really felt strongly about doing my part for my country and really wanted to be a Seabee. I waited a couple of years and never received my 4F papers. So I again went to the recruiters office. I explained everything to him. By this time they were no longer drafting. He said that we should try it again. So I again went to the physical. I explained everything the same as before. This time I made it in.
While in boot camp I got a migraine. Fortunately it was at the end of the day and did not interfere with anything. By morning it was gone and I made it through the day.
Between boot camp and A school I got married to my High School sweetheart. I went to Equipment Operator A school in California. While there my wife came out for a couple of weeks and told me she did not want to be married anymore that she was gay. As you might imagine this through me for quite a loop. I did not expect this at all. I guess I was young and blind. After A school I went home for leave. While there we went to court and got an annulment. I went on to my first duty station in Roosevelt Roads Puerto Rico. By the time I got there I had a very bad attitude. I had a lot of trouble concentrating and I spent most of the time daydreaming about what had happened. I just couldnt seem to get my head on straight and just kept thinking about her and what had happened and trying to figure out why. I was able to function enough to keep my self out of the brig somehow. I did come close a couple of times with my bad attitude. One day while working on the airfield I was walking down the side of a C140 aircraft and daydreaming as I did a lot of the time. I noticed the heat from the auxiliary engine just in time to drop to my knees to prevent the exhaust from taking my head off. A couple of guys saw what had happened and came running up to see if I was all right. That is when I decided I needed help. I had no business working on an airfield with the frame of mind I was in. Someone was going to get hurt by my inability to keep my mind on what I was doing. I went to the hospital and saw a Shrink. After about 4 or 5 visits he told me he was going to recommend that I be sent back stateside. This was OK with me because I thought that once stateside I could get off base and communicate with others and maybe get my head on straight. I thought I would be able to get away from the strict military lifestyle and being in the States I would be able to communicate with others. I was not able to do this there because I could not speak Spanish. Then the next visit he said that they had changed their minds and they had a medical board and were recommending me for discharge due to Depressive Reaction. I did not want this as I did want to finish my duty. I thought that the original idea of going back to the states would allow me to get my head on straight and be able to finish my time. However I could not talk him out of it. I was sent to Norfolk and discharged from there with a General Discharge under honorable conditions. I was only in the Navy for about 1 year, 1 month and a few days.
This has been very difficult for me to deal with. I am still not sure just how I feel. Most of the time I feel like I did not do my duty. I dont feel like I am entitled to any Veterans benefits. I do use my Vet. Benefits to get my meds because they are just so much cheaper than without. I really cant afford them from the civilian pharmacy. Every time I go to the VA clinic I feel ashamed and like I should not be there. I was very proud to be a Seabee and had planned that for several years before I went in. Now I just dont feel like I should tell anyone most of the time. I feel ashamed that I did not complete my time. I want to get more involved with Veterans Groups but just dont feel like I have earned the right.
Please advise what you think about this situation I find myself in. How do you, being Veterans, feel about my story and me? Do I deserve to consider myself a Veteran? Do I deserve to use Veterans Benefits? I really want to know what other Vets think. This has been eating at me for a very long time now and I need to hear from Veterans about how they feel about someone like me.
Both the military and the VA have clear criteria for determining status.
There are two sides to this .. your "side" and the VA's "side". Guess which one usually "wins". If you have been as "up front" as you claim and the VA has deemed you anything, that is what you are.
That is my opinion. You are an honorable military volunteer (enlisted). You served to the best of your ability as long as you were an asset and not a risk.
I would say you qualify for whatever the VA has deemed a benefit. You are (in my opinion and apparently the VA's opinion) a military veteran, .. with verifiable service and an acceptable discharge.
Some vets may say different. Not their business. It is what you feel that is important for you. I think you can tell yourself you made a suitable and honorable attempt to serve, .. did so for as long as it was the right thing to do, and when it became a risk, you made an appropriate change.
Just my opinion.
I, too, consider you an Honorable Veteran, because I think you have been up front on this post.
I doubt that the responses found here will ease your discomfort the next time you visit the VA. But you can take comfort in that your story is by far not unique, thousands have found themselves in situations where their terms of service was cut short for whatever reasons, and in the intervening years have come to experience and express the same doubts and regrets that you have expressed.
But perhaps the mark of a veteran is not only how he/she conducted oneself while wearing the uniform, but also how he/she lived one's life since as a citizen of one's country served. So you might ask yourself that since that time did you conduct yourself honorably, did you vote, did you conduct yourself as a veteran, did you uphold our country's highest traditions, did you seek to serve in other ways in your community - to volunteer, to earn a living and pay taxes, to do those things that a veteran would do?
What does your gut tell you? If you served with pride and honor for your 13 months despite your hardship and have done your country justice in the interim, then I would say to you "Welcome Aboard!" But it is not my call, nor really is it of the others, either on this board or in the waiting rooms of the VA. Its in your heart and whether your eyes and meet theirs.
We know, tragically, that documents can be made to lie, that there are those who would falsify their records of service to obtain unearned benefits and undeserved honors and recognition.
We also know that through administrative red tape and bureaucracy crucial documents and notations vital to claims can be mislaid.
It may be possible for you, through the Board of Corrections, to obtain a review of your discharge. What does your gut tell you?
You'll never really know until you get together, face to face, with other vets. With a VSO group like the Legion, or with the SeaBees' fraternal (check Military.Com). Its easy on a screen, its another face to face.
What does your gut tell you?
I enlisted in the Navy, met my hubby in Corps School right after boot camp, and we both settled in for long careers in the military.
Both stationed at NRMC, Jacksonville, FL, it was there I became pregnant. 21 months into my hitch, a problem pregnancy, and a hubby with orders to go to Okinawa unaccompanied for 14 months, I opted to get out of the military due to pregnancy and "the convenience of the government." I wasn't about to sit in Florida with a newborn, my husband gone and 1200 miles from the nearest family.
After all these years, I feel no less a veteran than someone who served 20 years. I am so very proud of my short service. I do feel bad I couldn't have served my full 4 years, but the time I was in was just as honorable as someone serving longer.
Hubby did go on to serve for 8 years, and I'm so proud of both our military service. You should be, too.