I can relate...when I sit in the waiting room people always ask if I am a nurse. When I say no I am a veteran they look shocked. One even said "A veteran of WHAT?" My reply "Theres this little middle eastern country called Iraq, have you heard of it?" Good luck with your class and just remember, we are still a pretty new sight for alot of these guys.

lol you crack me up! the question i always get is "are you a dependent?"
you know something? i F%CKING hate that word "dependent"! i always say back to them " hell no!! do i look like a damn military wife to you?!!" then they look at my short or buzzed off hair and all my tattoes like i'm some kind of new species. lol! idiots!

oh and you know what really used to PISS me off??! i was med boarded out and got a medical retirement from the military not VA. so i had a blue retiree ID, and when i used to go to the commissary or PX, the stupid cashiers would look at my blue id and ask if it was real!! they would ask to see my driver's license and hold the 2 id s up and compare it to my face! and if they still were confused, they would get another coworker over or manager and have them look at it!! then some times they would ask how i got it. i'd be like "I SERVED IN THE CORPS AND GOT FUCKING INJURED! SEVERE ENOUGH TO GET MEDICALLY RETIRED! how else did you think i got it??!!" and they would be like "well you didn't serve 20 years..." that's why it's called a MEDICAL retirement, you IDIOTS!

gosh even people working for the dod aren't up dated on this shit! WTF?!

I have been in several VA programs at a couple of VA facilities. I have NEVER been in a mixed gender treatment program. Had the impression the VA just did not do that. I am surprised.

At one point I was supposed to be inpatient for PTSD and the VA told me they didnt have any open beds for women. None. Open beds for men, yes, for women, no. So I ended up in a civilian hospital trying to talk to a civilian doc about the war when I had to stop every ten seconds to explain things like squad, battalion, IED, RRF, the rank structure, and why I couldnt just tell the commander I didnt want to do something. Not to mention that they had me in group therepy with a high school cheerleader who had attempted suicide because the pressure to be perfect was "more than anyone can handle" and a 19 year old man who was in for drug addiction. They got mad because I didnt want to share details with people who thought it was cool that I was in the army because "then you can kill people and not get in trouble."

Needless to say, that little therapy attempt didnt work and I checked myself out. Now I only do outpatient and only with people who specialise in vets.

Yeah, .. I did about 5 years on a PTSD outpatient program. Met once a month, group "therapy". They kept VN vets separated from Iraq/Afghan war vets, AND it was also gender exclusive (males only). I ended up dreading the monthly meeting. 5 years of NOTHING. Starts off going around the table and each Vet states on a 1-10 scale how they are "doing". Same thing, over and over. "Well, my back still hurts from my injury, still have nightmares, still spend most of my time alone, still have anger issues. Today, I am about a 7." OVER, AND OVER AND OVER. Then, the rest of the 2 hours was spent on one of the Vet's current circumstance and the rest of the Vet's (none of them qualified) giving opinions on what he should do. The Goddam therapist never made a contribution ... of any kind. "Well, Bill, you have to quit coddling that teenage son". Most of the Goddam time we spent talking about teen rearing or divorce issues or one of the guy's teenager's trouble with the law ... nothing at all about our own PTSD. I often wondered, .. who is this for; this guy's screwed up teenager? I finally came to the conclusion the VA has no effective treatment program. Just medication prescription. They put together some kind of "program" just to say they have a program, .. and continue to get their grant. In 5 years, .. the last meeting I went to was no different from the first one. A complete waste of time. Oh, .. we were not allowed to bring up our "trauma". That was a No No. Go figure.

you know wandering vet, you might be more right about that than you think. the 1st couple of months i moved here to hawaii i had no where to live and no job. it was right after my discharge.

anyway, my 1st roomate here didn't work out so i checked into a "program" thru the VA where they set you up to live in these barracks that used to be military (the base closed down some years back). and they only charge $200 a month to live there. it was a program for vets that were on the verge of goin homeless and they help you go back to work and all that stuff.

well the room i had to stay in was shared with 2 other women and we had to share a bath room that the plumbing barely worked. well the list of bad things about the place goes on and on. the rooms on the upper floors costed a lot more money and they just kept raising the rent on them. i took notice that the guy that run the place was always really well dressed with expensive suits. and all he ever did was make fun of the vets there including me. he would make fun of my cane.

not too long after i started to get to know the staff, i learned that the guy that is in charge of the place gets thousands of dollars a year from the government to fix the place up. there were many things wrong with the place that i was tempted to call the state health and comfort about. but it was funny cuz where did all that money go if the place wasn't getting fixed?

needless to say, i went and got a job and then packed up and left. i promised my self that i would never ever go back there! i don't even wanna know where that money went.

then recently i found out that that same guy is now in charge of the new homeless "program" for the civilians on this island. what a bunch of crooks!

Oh, wow, can I ever relate!

I've just spent 2 days trying to get enrolled at the VA, and after day 1, I swore that the next person who asked "And who is the veteran ma'am,?" was gonna get an earful. And a double-earful for anyone who said "Oh! You mean YOU are?" Grrrr.

It's not like we're that rare. There's really no excuse.
The funny thing?
It was the young-to-middle aged employees I had to DEAL with who couldn't get it through their heads. The older concessionaires and other *patients* and folks that I didn't *have to* deal with all automatically assumed *I* was the vet. If the WW-freaking-TWO vets can figure it out, the twentysomething civilian-for-life behind the damn desk*whose job it is* should be able to figure out how to ask without giving offense.

Oh, and I'm an Army vet, but I'd really be ready to chew nailsif I was Air Force.After saying "I am the vet, thanks." I got asked THREE TIMES "Oh! Air Force?" as if that was the "Girly option" or something. OMG, I wanted to pinch someone's head off!

At times, the conversation, monitored by dozens of reporters with cameras and pads straining to hear every word, felt like an episode from the television show. The View women sitting around a table dishing about their home lives and their struggles, except not once in the hourlong conversation was there any evidence of nastiness.
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pandreson
Arkansas Drug Addiction

now i find it a little funny and ironic that someone made you angry at your anger management class...
now, i understand why though, because you ladies are not getting the same respect as your male counterparts... well, fuck 'em. give the arrogant SOB's a piece of your mind when they stare at you in disbelief, and maybe next time they won't rush to assume anything.

I have been in only 1 war, ... thank God. I cannot imagine how much more horrible the VN war would have been without the women who served in and of it. Even the least among them is a heroine in my opinion. ALL volunteers, .. no draftees. Angels, warriors, heroines. The sacrifices and commitment they made are stupendous.

This thread truly brings a tear to my eyes and the responses do too. But, my friends, there is justice in the military veterans system. Las week I got my service connected disability raised to 70%. I am a female veteran who served proudly, albeit it not in hand-to-hand on foriegn soil, during the Vietnam War. The increase took 7 years and, Praise the Creator, it is here.

A friensd of mine told me today that perseverance pays off------------they were right. Keep the anger burning (just in a smaller pot lol) and you can watch the changes happening.

Feel free to check out the group titled Women in Servicew here in the Veterans Community. It's small, a bit slow and, like a fledgling, learning to fly.

Women are tough enough, but a Marine-MAM, you dont mess with the corps women. I ran into some hard ass female marines! A Lt.Col, taught me a good lesson, cant say what it was but trust me, now i never use mans' bigotry on women!

Well i don't know what to say, about the way you ladies are treated at your V.A. When i first went to the V.A,i was able to register in about 30 min. The V.A here has a rule, you will see a Dr. in 30 min., of course it don,t happen. The thing i don't understand is the way you ladies are away from the men in your different groups and class. The V.A here in Detroit don't operate that way, we are all togather in every thing A female vet., is no big thing here. The female vet. is repasted by both male vet. and by civilians in the city, or for that matter, the state of Mich. I guess it's from women working in the auto plants, steal mills and any other job a man can do, So it's no big thing to have female vet here and they don't any sh-t from no one. I guess it's like the female vet.say, we have been in the same wars you have,. God bless them all. walt

When I worked, my colleagues were always surprized when I told them I was in the Army - they would look at my demeanor, size etc. I was totally embarrassed when a "friend" told me she wanted to set me up on a date with another friend of hers. Turns out the friend was a lesbian, and my co-worker "just assumed" I would be since I was in the Army so long.

Just when you can get them to believe that there really are women soldiers, then you have to try to prove you're a heterosexual.

My first DI told me that there were no more pink or blue, black or white, catholic or muslim or prodestant ideas, we all would think in shades of green with rank. I firmly believe if more people showed similar respect and lack of bias, there would be a lot less problems.

And I agree - "Dependent" is an offensive term, implying personal weakness or lack of initative. I prefer "family member". It's one of my pet peeves, right up there with "victim" - again, implying weakness and loss of conrol. I prefer "survior" it lends a more positive connotation to the moniker.