I would speak to him about it. I am thinking of the same thing for my husband for differant reasons. I think it would all depend on how much he loves you. Sex is a big issue but its not everything. there are many other ways to please each other. But if its worry about what you go through with cancer and him seeing it then I would just let that one go if he really loves you it is in the vowels in sickness and in health. We never know what life will bring and its a commitment we make to each other on our wedding day that says we will stand by our spouses.
I hope everything turns out great for both of you.

I have to say my boyfriend of 11 years has stood by me. We haven't had sex since my kidney failure and now with this vaginal cancer it would be impossible. I just had a surgery 3 weeks ago and he has been right there at each doctor visit and even helps me to keep it clean. He is very devoted and we are not even married. I think you should talk to your husband and see how he feels. Tell him not to worry about your feelings that you just want him to be happy.
So Sorry, (((HUGS))) Sue

I've had surgery, and radiation and chemo for my stage III vaginal cancer March - July 2009. I too could live without sex, however my doctor (said in front of my boyfriend) that I could return to having a normal sex life...hummmm. Normal, is the wrong choice of words. My boyfriend of three years (just the start of my symptoms) and has stood by me all the way. I can't imagine him going anywhere, and unless he makes that decision on his own, I need him.

I'm in remission now, and have been trying to satisfy his needs, but it is not easy at times. Sex comes in many forms, it doesn't have to be intercourse, it is my drive that I have lost. My problem he takes it to personally.

Hang in there, and talk, talk talk. Don't make him go away because you think he would be happier....maybe he wants to be with you..for better or for worse, in sickness and in health. You need him.

My wife was diagnosed with cervical cancer 3 years ago and now vaginal cancer about 3 months ago. Ever since her diagnosis she has hinted towards my acquiring a "mistress." I kept telling her that at the end of the treatment, we will cross that bridge because we have no idea what is in store for us on the other side. I try to continue to be a "sturdy pillar" upon which she can lean, but a couple weeks ago she stated that, like Angnicmarie, she could live without sex for the rest of her life. I can understand that. If a Dr pushed ANYTHING up my urethra, I would be scared for life. She has managed to deal with it 4 times. I give her credit for sticking with it, but my sexual frustration comes when she chooses NOT to let me join/help/be involved when she gets sexually aroused or she does not satisfy me in ANY way. I'm sure it would be difficult to let someone help with the treatment going on. I'm sure that some privacy to enjoy yourself is important. I know I'm being somewhat selfish in expecting to be a part of that...but we haven't had GREAT sex since our wedding day because cervical cancer started rearing its ugly head on our honeymoon, let alone ANY sex in months. I'm 32, I still have plenty of sexual drive. That being said, I love my wife, unless she leaves me...she is stuck with me until the end. But, am I terrible for humoring the idea of a mistress? I cannot help but wonder if the benefits of an outside sex partner might lower my sexual frustration. Does any of the vaginal cancer brawlers/survivors agree with her decision to ask me to find a mistress? Does anyone think its immoral to take on a mistress when your wife asks you too?

It saddens me to see any woman go through this. First I want to say when you got married it was for the better and worse. Sex plays a huge part in marriage but I would have a serious conversation with your husband. There are other ways to please him without the intercourse; oral, exotic massages, hand jobs, etc. Do what you can before giving up on yourself and your marriage, unless you feel strongly about your decision. I feel that maybe you are giving up on yourself because it would hurt you if he stayed and ends up unhappy because of the sex. Real love doesn't give up so look for other options instead of checking out. When you're going through something serious that's when you need your partner the most.