Urinary Incontinence Support Group
Urinary incontinence is the involuntary excretion of urine from one's body. It is often temporary, and it almost always results from an underlying medical condition. Stress, functional, and urge incontinence are the most common forms. Share with other support group members and learn from their stories and experiences.
I've been married to an amazing man for 8 years. I knew before we were married that he struggled with incontinence and relied on diapers some of the time. Knowing that and learning to accept it as a fact of life after we were married were 2 different things. I struggled with it for the first year or so. During the last 3 years, his bladder control has decreased to almost nothing and now he relies on diapers all the time. I'm actually ok with it - to my own surprise. It is not a sexual turn-on for me, but I don't let it get in the way either.
I recently learned that while out on a construction site, he let a female coworker change his diaper. He said it was not a sexual encounter - she just removed the diaper, wiped him down, and put a dry onw on him. I feel angry and betrayed. Angry at myself for not knowing he would want that interaction (and not sure I could provide it), and betrayed because I cannot understand how it could possibly be anything but an intimate and at least somewhat sexual encounter. Even if it wasn't sexual, it feels incredibly intimate and that feels like betrayal.
My question is, can a diaper change be non-sexual and non-intimate? I really want to understand his point of view, but I can't seem to get there on my own.
Thanks for any feedback,
Desperate Lea
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In 2013 I had an accident resulting in spinal injury at the base of my neck with paralysis from there down, spasticity (muscle contractions and spasms) and double incontinence. Both my anus and my urethra have been left closed except with manual intervention. I hardly ever pass urine via the usual route (I have a suprapubic catheter passing directly into my bladder about 2 inches below my...
I am sorry for you. A diaper change can be non-sexual, in my opinion, but it is a very intimate act, unless it is done by a nurse whose job it is, or by your partner.
I am single and I accept to get diapered only by my older sister, not even my mom. My sister is a nurse and she used to diaper me since I was a teenager, since my mom stopped diapering me. I won't show my "thing" to anyone (I am a very private person).
May be you can give him one last chance, if you still love him. Be strong.
Sorry to hear this about your husband. I don't think you have any thing to worry about. I wear diapers due to an accident I was in. After my accident I had to wear diapers 24/7 for awhile. Now I only wear them during the night. I have a very good female friend that has changed me alot. Everytime it has been
non-sexual. You just have to trust him.
For my part, I don't need assistance, I can change my diaper myself if necessary. However, I am better diapered when my sister does. But here it sounds odd because his coworker seems not to be a close relative or a nurse.
I offer no advice on the episode to which you refer; however, I have had great success with my own battle with incontinence of late that I have addressed in a post today. I have finally reduced my moderate to severe incontinence to a very minor issue, managed daily. From my own experience, I can only tell you that this condition is life-changing and did affect my self esteem, confidence, and lifestyle. Men are prone to do stupid things under the best of circumstances and are certainly so when their psychic is discombobulated. Best wishes to your "team."