Urinary Incontinence Support Group

Urinary incontinence is the involuntary excretion of urine from one's body. It is often temporary, and it almost always results from an underlying medical condition. Stress, functional, and urge incontinence are the most common forms. Share with other support group members and learn from their stories and experiences.

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The stigma

OneOfTheGuys
OneOfTheGuys

I was at work the other day and my coworkers were having a conversation about some of our clients. For context, we specialize in home organization and furnishings. One client was being discussed regarding his move to a new home after he decided to put his elderly mother in assisted living since he couldn’t put up with “changing her poopy diapers”. My coworkers then went on to say things like “if I get to that point, just shoot me. There’s no reason to stick around if I can’t control myself anymore.” 


The coworkers that were involved in this discussion are all in their 50s. I’m in my 30s and have been urinary incontinent for 3 or 4 years, but none of them know about it. So Unbeknownst to them, I’m standing there in a diaper while they assert how worthless life is after you go back into diapers. 


It should probably be pointed out that one of the people taking part in the discussion is my own father. He doesn’t know all the intimate details about my medical history, and I prefer to keep all that private anyway. 


I guess I’m just bummed out that these kind of discussions are going on. If I asserted myself in that situation, they’d be more conscious about what they were saying, but only to my face. I’m sure they’d have the same conversations behind my back, only my name would get inserted into them. 


Does anyone else ever experience similar situations around unknowing friends or family? How does that make you feel? 

Barry
Barry
I hear quite a lot of careless, uninformed talk about myself. I just let it go. Such talk usually says more about the speaker than it does about the person they are talking about.
Brandie1970
Brandie1970
Well Yes its heartbreaking talk to many of us. I'm somebody who lives with a severe disability and has spent a lot of time over the last 25 years in hospitals. And even a few months in a long term care center. As well as dealing with bladder & bowel incontinence to some degree or another all these years. Its not a easy thing to deal with for anybody involved. I need caregivers 12+ hours a day. Plus My husband and other family help as well. Its easy for a caregiver to get burnt out and over worked.
novalis
novalis
I've heard talk like this, too. I think they are mostly speaking from fear. They have not directly experienced it yet, so it is still all in their imagination, I believe.
So, if one acquires cataracts (or any other medical condition), then, instead of dealing with it, give up? Nah. I would wager once confronted with it, the will to survive prevails. Life is all about adjustments, huh?
loosingit90
loosingit90
Those conversations are built on ignorance and once they educate themselves or are forced into a situation then they will be able to see how ridiculous they are and hopefully change there ways. It is disappointing but it’s also human nature and as scary as it is we all need to try to help educate others And stay educated ourselves
Edwin
Edwin
I was told the same thing by a friend with MS. Sadly, he ended up wetting my sofa that same night.
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