Urinary Incontinence Support Group
Urinary incontinence is the involuntary excretion of urine from one's body. It is often temporary, and it almost always results from an underlying medical condition. Stress, functional, and urge incontinence are the most common forms. Share with other support group members and learn from their stories and experiences.
So, i am just beginning a realtionship with a man who has SB (and UI as a result) He has been so amazingly open and honest and lets me ask him all the questions i could possibly think of. This topic was brought up for the first time last night, and naturally was his biggest/most embarrassing secret. He couldnt believe (and i think is still in shock) that the fact he has to wear diapers some or most (im not sure) of the time, does not phase me in the least. At the same time, its new to me so i have a couple concerns:
-in the case of an "accident" (sexual in nature or not) how should i react? We joke about everything, but would it be appropiate to just "laugh it off"?
-Should i offer assistance in anyway? Or let him handle it as it is very personal?
-and lastly, (wow how do i ask this one?!) i want him to feel as comforable around me as possible, and esp in intimate situations the nervousness/anxiety kicks in, worring about running to the bathroom, removing his diaper, ect. i would like to eliminate that as much as possible (if at all possible!?) and wonder if i would be out of place to undress him myself in an intimate situation? Or for most people with this condition is putting on/removing a diaper just too personal/ potentially embarrassing to share with your partner in that way?
I will be discussing all of these points with him but i also wanted to hear from other peoples experiences so thank you for any and all advice!! :)
-in the case of an "accident" (sexual in nature or not) how should i react? We joke about everything, but would it be appropiate to just "laugh it off"?
-Should i offer assistance in anyway? Or let him handle it as it is very personal?
-and lastly, (wow how do i ask this one?!) i want him to feel as comforable around me as possible, and esp in intimate situations the nervousness/anxiety kicks in, worring about running to the bathroom, removing his diaper, ect. i would like to eliminate that as much as possible (if at all possible!?) and wonder if i would be out of place to undress him myself in an intimate situation? Or for most people with this condition is putting on/removing a diaper just too personal/ potentially embarrassing to share with your partner in that way?
I will be discussing all of these points with him but i also wanted to hear from other peoples experiences so thank you for any and all advice!! :)
be open and honest with him about it. let him know that his incontience is ok with you and that you are understanding and caring. if an accident happens, don't overreact.
i think undressing him would be ok, but leave the diaper removal up to him unless he wants you to do it. if so, ask him how he goes about it.
remember honesty is the best policy in any situation. :)
you'll reach a comfort level as to the diaper and maybe even learn ways to make this 'inconvenience' a part of the foreplay...you never know. yes, often sexual arousals do mean more 'accidents', so the protection needs to stay in place, for obvious reasons. But you can work on the ways...talk about it, think positive, and just keep having fun. It's private, it's personal, and it can also be very intimate if done right. You'll discover more and more as you proceed with an open mind and good intentions. Good luck!
1. Accidents are going to be a part of life - pure and simple. Just like sneezing, etc. Treat them no differently - no big deal.
2. If he is able to take care of things himself, then why should you assist. If not, then you have to settle that between yourselves. It's his call on that. What are his other issues from the spinal bifida ?
3.A pull up would be good in bed, rather than a tape on diaper, its easier to put on and off. No matter how you handle it, speaking from my married days, the bed is the most awkard place.