Hi,

Sorry to hear about your surgical complication. Unfortunately, been there too. Hopefully, everything will be resolved soon. If not, incontinence, while annoying, is not life-ending. Not at all. Just an adjustment. And, you are far from alone. Not by a long shot.

As for specific advice, two things come to mind immediately:

1) This is tough for people, but try not to be self conscious. No one cares. Really. What I mean is that people are so busy with their own lives and their own image that they'll never stop to notice you're wearing protection. Wear what helps you, with confidence.

In about 20 years, I've only had one person, outside my immediate family, who I felt was 'on to me'. He oncevgave a little nod, and then nothing came of it. (Who knows, he might have just had a stiff neck.) Turned out to be a non-issue. Nobody cares.

2) Diapers (and related products) cannot be acquired at the local chain drug stores. Depend, for instance, has an excellent marketing department, but low quality products for active people with minimal control. With the symptoms you described, you'll be miserable using those.

In the US, Northshore Care and HDIS are reputable and easily found on the Internet. Their products might, at first seem more expensive, but they perform much better and last longer - meaning they actually cost less. Significantly reduced leaks and odor mean that your confidence and outlook will improve.

The staff at both companies are really polite and helpful. As a starting point, consider something like a Tena Super for daytime and a Molicare Super Plus for night. The Northshore house brand overnights are remarkably good and highly recommended, if you choose that company. Many people also find success with the Tranquility line too, for both day and night. Opinions vary.

Best of luck. Don't be afraid to toss out any other thoughts or questions you may have.

-W

When I started wearing nappies during the day I was very self concious. Gradually you realise either no one notices or they just don't really care. I hardly even think about it now and wear nappies all the time.

Sorry that you are going through this.

whata has given some great advice and even given two great places to work with to get the right diaper for your needs. We have have different types and levels of incontinence so we all use different products/diapers to allow us to live a normal life.

We are our worst enemy when it comes to thinking/knowing that we are wearing a diaper. We hear every little sound it makes, we see notice what we think are bulges in our clothes, but in reality, no one else hears or sees what we hear and see. Like whata, I have never had anyone notice or say anything about me wearing a diaper. If it wasn't for diapers, I wouldn't be able to live the quality of life that I do.

I myself use the Northshore brand Supreme diapers. Depending on my fluid intake, I can go a full shift at work without changing and I can sleep all night without concern of leaking. I have had to do the trial and error method to find what really works, but once I have that figured out, I have continued to work, travel, and go out and about without any concerns.

thanks for the advice and support everyone.
its getting easier to deal with (and i got a case of abena diapers tonight. never thought id be happy about getting diapers in the mail!)
i got an earlier appointment with the urologist for tomorrow, and weather permitting (we are supposed to get 8 inches tonight!) ill hopefully have some insight from her.
wish me luck.

my transportation for tomorrow has been cancelled......so frustrated.