Urinary Incontinence Support Group
Urinary incontinence is the involuntary excretion of urine from one's body. It is often temporary, and it almost always results from an underlying medical condition. Stress, functional, and urge incontinence are the most common forms. Share with other support group members and learn from their stories and experiences.
Hello. I am a brand new member of this forum. I have very recently started accepting to myself, and reconciling to the fact that I am a person who suffers from moderate episodic incontinence. I am only 46 years old, and this has been very difficult for me to sort out. It is very personal to me, and also rather embarrassing. What is really complicating this issue for me is that this is further complicated by trauma-based anxiety caused by memories of multi-spectrum abuse I suffered as a child at the hands of an adoptive parent.
I have discussed my multiple episodes of major urinary frequency and urgency with my primary care physician. On advice of one of his colleagues, I even journalized my normal urination, as well as incontinent episodes, for a week. I had an appointment with my PCP recently, and I discussed this issue with him further, even though I was rather timid about it. I am a Type II Diabetic, and I suspected that this medical problem had something to do with my bladder issues, especially considering my blood glucose levels had been quite high for the last two weeks. My doctor confirmed this, and increased my insulin dosage. Discussions with him, as well as my birth mother, and my best friend over the last few days have helped me feel a great deal more comfortable and less afraid talking about my urge and overflow incontinence problem.
I do not wet my bed. However, often when I am out in public, I develop very strong urges to urinate that cannot be ignored. I recall one incident that happened a few years ago. I tend to be a bit "pee shy," so I also hold it in when I am out in public, to avoid going to public restrooms. At this particular time, the urgency to urinate was so great that I could not hold it in at all. Quite literally, I stood at my apartment door, fumbling with my keys, trying to unlock the door, to get to the bathroom quickly before I emptied my bladder, but then it happened... I had a full-blown incontinent episode, completely emptying my bladder, and soaking myself from the waist down.
Since then, I have had other episodes like this, some less severe, some equally so.I try not to drink too much liquid, to avoid having problems. Despite my reluctance, however, I am actually not terribly ashamed when I seriously think about wearing protective underwear or adult briefs long-term from this point forward. I even researched several incontinence products that might help me achieve a solution to my medical issues in this regard. I've also been reading a lot of articles and support topics on the Internet about incontinence.
I just purchased some adult briefs from my local CVS, as well as a pack of Attends adult briefs on E-Bay that appear to be just the right size and absorbency for me, after failing to find such an item for quite some time now. I went out in public with an adult brief on for the first time ever a couple evenings ago. After getting over the initial strange feel of it, and the fear of being discovered wearing it, I actually found it incredibly comfortable, as well as very discreet. It was a very liberating and freeing experience for me that was palpable.
I believe that with further counseling from my psychotherapist, I can recover from, and cope with, the emotional ramifications of my past traumas, as well as the very real medical issue of incontinence that I am now facing. I was far too young to recall clearly, but I believe I was also shamed during potty-training. I think that with help, and sound medical advice, I can resolve all of these issues to the best of my ability, and lead a richer, more independent life.
I am still a relatively young person (46), though I sometimes lately feel "old," since I am facing the reality of things like diabetes, high cholesterol/blood pressure, partials/dentures (I am missing 5 teeth), mental health issues, and now, evidently, incontinence. I felt that this forum would be the only place that I could go to discuss these issues - in a place where people truly understand the complex milieu of emotions and issues that myself, and many others, have faced. I know I am not alone - the research I have done, as well as all the Google hits I have seen regarding incontinence, clearly show that very many people experience these issues, just like me. Thank you for for listening to my concerns, and your support and encouragement, in advance. I look forward to your warm welcomes and your thoughtful replies. Thank you once again. Take care, and be safe.
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I have discussed my multiple episodes of major urinary frequency and urgency with my primary care physician. On advice of one of his colleagues, I even journalized my normal urination, as well as incontinent episodes, for a week. I had an appointment with my PCP recently, and I discussed this issue with him further, even though I was rather timid about it. I am a Type II Diabetic, and I suspected that this medical problem had something to do with my bladder issues, especially considering my blood glucose levels had been quite high for the last two weeks. My doctor confirmed this, and increased my insulin dosage. Discussions with him, as well as my birth mother, and my best friend over the last few days have helped me feel a great deal more comfortable and less afraid talking about my urge and overflow incontinence problem.
I do not wet my bed. However, often when I am out in public, I develop very strong urges to urinate that cannot be ignored. I recall one incident that happened a few years ago. I tend to be a bit "pee shy," so I also hold it in when I am out in public, to avoid going to public restrooms. At this particular time, the urgency to urinate was so great that I could not hold it in at all. Quite literally, I stood at my apartment door, fumbling with my keys, trying to unlock the door, to get to the bathroom quickly before I emptied my bladder, but then it happened... I had a full-blown incontinent episode, completely emptying my bladder, and soaking myself from the waist down.
Since then, I have had other episodes like this, some less severe, some equally so.I try not to drink too much liquid, to avoid having problems. Despite my reluctance, however, I am actually not terribly ashamed when I seriously think about wearing protective underwear or adult briefs long-term from this point forward. I even researched several incontinence products that might help me achieve a solution to my medical issues in this regard. I've also been reading a lot of articles and support topics on the Internet about incontinence.
I just purchased some adult briefs from my local CVS, as well as a pack of Attends adult briefs on E-Bay that appear to be just the right size and absorbency for me, after failing to find such an item for quite some time now. I went out in public with an adult brief on for the first time ever a couple evenings ago. After getting over the initial strange feel of it, and the fear of being discovered wearing it, I actually found it incredibly comfortable, as well as very discreet. It was a very liberating and freeing experience for me that was palpable.
I believe that with further counseling from my psychotherapist, I can recover from, and cope with, the emotional ramifications of my past traumas, as well as the very real medical issue of incontinence that I am now facing. I was far too young to recall clearly, but I believe I was also shamed during potty-training. I think that with help, and sound medical advice, I can resolve all of these issues to the best of my ability, and lead a richer, more independent life.
I am still a relatively young person (46), though I sometimes lately feel "old," since I am facing the reality of things like diabetes, high cholesterol/blood pressure, partials/dentures (I am missing 5 teeth), mental health issues, and now, evidently, incontinence. I felt that this forum would be the only place that I could go to discuss these issues - in a place where people truly understand the complex milieu of emotions and issues that myself, and many others, have faced. I know I am not alone - the research I have done, as well as all the Google hits I have seen regarding incontinence, clearly show that very many people experience these issues, just like me. Thank you for for listening to my concerns, and your support and encouragement, in advance. I look forward to your warm welcomes and your thoughtful replies. Thank you once again. Take care, and be safe.
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"Shy Bladder Syndrome" by Steven Soifer & others [New Harbinger Inc 2001]. Not so often spoken about as urinary incontinence etc, I reckon that there can be a link created between the two, as you mention. Problems "down there" at any age may lead to the syndrome.
Particularly if parental/caregiver attitudes were punitive ay any stage.
My own experience as child and adult has certainly led to it for me!
My bladder lets lose whenever it wants to, I have no control over it so if I didnt wear diapers, I would be in wet clothes all the time. Because there are times my bladder will flood and others just let out a little, trying to find the right diaper to where for the right time/event/occasion has been an education for me. I dont like changing at work so I wear super absorbent diaper and if I feel its going to be a bad day, I will wear a doubler or a second lesser diaper under my main diaper. The biggest fear I had about this was someone finding out or noticing. In the six years I have had to wear, no one has ever noticed and if they did, they never said anything.
When it comes to wearing diapers, we are our worst enemy. We know we are wearing it, we can hear every little sound it makes and we feel that everyone is staring at us, but that isnt all true. Yes we hear it because we are listening for it; others dont hear it most of the time because of all the other noise around. No one is looking at your diaper unless it is showing openly. For me, I wear my pants one size larger to help hide the bulk. Others will buy and wear and Adult Onsie. Those are great to help hold up the diaper and to keep it from showing too. In time you will find what works best for you.
One thing I have noticed/learned is that growing up, parents have a real bad habit when trying to potty train kids to tell them that diapers are for babies and old people. We think old people are like me 50 and older and something old people are the ones that live in nursing homes. But to a kid, an old person is anyone over 21 lol. The fact is that there are so many of us out here that have to use diapers and its just now starting to become more socially understood. Because of my type of incontinence Depend brand diapers dont work for me, but they and a couple other companies are starting to really do a much better job at showing/explaining it in the media with the new types of commercials they have.
You will find things get easier and better the more you are able to talk with others about it and actually start breaking through some of your fear factors about having to wear/use diapers. Myself and others are here for support, so give shout out any time.
I really had to urinate by that time. I got to the front lobby of my apartment building, and decided I would not hold it in any longer. I wasn't sure exactly if there was any major urgency, or if I exactly couldn't wait until I got to my apartment on the 3rd floor.
At any rate, I used my diaper then and there. I could not stop the flow once it started, though I did try to stop it once it started. That cheap diaper soon could not hold the volume of liquid, and leaked like a sieve. It ran down my pants leg - very noticeably I might add.
Fortunately, no one was around me at the time, and I managed to get back to my apartment and get my wet pants and diaper off. It was a good deal more frustrating than embarrassing for me.
Since then, I have not worn a diaper. I don't need them in my apartment usually, since I have a studio, and the bathroom is literally feet away from my bed, and I do not wet the bed.
I am waiting for a shipment of Attends breathable briefs from E-Bay at the moment. In addition, a nurse from my doctor's office said that a medical supply company will be calling me in a couple of weeks to order some diapers that, hopefully, will serve my needs, though they likely will be more generic and not top-of-the-line, since my doctor wrote a prescription for them, and my health insurance will be paying for them from now on.
I am still beside myself, wondering whether or not I genuinely have incontinence, or I want to convince myself that I do. Also, I still shake like a leaf with anxiety even discussing it with my birth mother and my friends, despite the fact that they love me, and have been extremely affirming and supportive. Hopefully, once I see my therapist on November 12, I will be able to talk it through with him, and he will help me calm my nerves a little.
Sometimes I feel like it's a waste wearing a diaper, when I get home successfully and I'm bone dry. However, then I have episodes like the one I described above, and I know that somehow I should, as a matter of routine, when I am out in public, to prevent accidents from happening.
The leakage problem is extremely annoying to me, though. I am hoping that my health insurance will also pick up the tab for some booster pads, or something that I might be able to insert inside the diaper to prevent the leaks from occurring. Like I said, once I start going, I usually can't stop, and the "flood" ensues. If I do have an episode of incontinence, it's always a very heavy flow of urine, guaranteed.
I think I've found a home here, and I am grateful to everyone in advance for their helpful advice and support. Perhaps I can find some solutions to my current problems here. Thanks again. Take care, and be safe.
Warm Regards,
Scott
Each and every one of us is unique - and as such require unique solutions. For me, the only solution that really worked was Foley catheters. They are a bit extreme, but due to my line of work and the need to be highly mobile with few opportunities to change, I needed something both 100% reliable, and workable for unpredictable access to a restroom.
We have some things in common (type 2 diabetes for one) as well as this.
There are literally dozens of solutions to the incontinence problem out there - unfortunately most medical people really aren't in touch with what's on the market, or are aware of only certain solutions they prefer. I did a lot of internet research to make my catheter usage as comfortable and easy to use as possible, and it's paid off well. There are dozens of external systems available as well, and every solution out there has its good and bad features - none of them are perfect.
I wish you the best - stay positive, look ahead, and move ahead with strength and determination!!
Unfortunately, even with the pull-ups, I still leak, since I have heavy flow when I have an episode of incontinence. So, I am now waiting for another prior authorization to be approved from my health insurance for liners to put inside the pull-ups. The specific item would be Prevail Male Guards.
I bought some Assurance male guards (liners) from Wal-Mart a couple days ago. The 14-pack was only $2.73. I definitely notice an improvement when the liners are used with the pull-ups, though there is still a chance of leaking.
So, I also ordered a pair of vinyl pants from a company called HDIS online for around $10. I am hoping that the vinyl pants, along with the pull-ups and liners, will finally stop any leaking.
Thank you once again. Please feel free to add me as a a friend, and let's stay in touch. I hope you have a nice Christmas and New Year's as well.