There are so many things about your post that struck me, blazefly. I started working for AT&T in 1984; best job I ever had - best pay, best perks, great co-workers, incredible benefits (like 100% employer paid medical), plus, AT&T had a zero-tolerance policy against discrimination of ANY kind. I LOVED it and had every plan to work there until I retired.

There is a new AT&T now, but, the old Ma Bell AT&T seemed to downsize by the multi-thousands. After 7 years with the company, I got hit with my first devastating AT&T downsizing in 1991 - just a few months after I adopted my daughter as a single parent. Four VERY difficult years, for both my daughter and myself, followed. After being recalled by AT&T in 1995, I picked up the pieces and, within a few years, everything was smooth sailing again. But, 7 years later, almost a year to the day after 9/11, I got hit with another downsizing. I was 50 years old.

I'm now and the last 10 years have been the toughest years of my life. It's almost embarassing to say, but, just a few short weeks ago, I finally started earning the hourly wage I earned when I was downsized by AT&T 10 years ago. I try not to think about what I would be earning now, had I not been downsized again. I also try not to think about the fact that, had I not been hit with two devastating downsizings, I would be able to retire in a few years. My reduced social security and my AT&T pension (which would have included free medical for life) would have given me a pretty easy retirement. Instead, I half-joke that one of my co-workers will find my dead 80 year old body in my cubicle one day.

There is a lot of age discrimination in hiring out there, such that, if you're 60 years old looking for a decent job, you might as well not even try. But, I was that 60 year old looking for a decent job - which I found and was hired by in a nearby school district last January. Things are still tight financially, but, I choose (most days anyway) to look at the blessings in my life, versus the setbacks and heartbreaks I've had along the way; and the setbacks and heartbreaks have been considerable.

I believe our thoughts and our words hold vast power, such that what we think and feel about our lives, for good or for bad, goes out into the universe. If we believe, in spite of the hell we may be currently going through, that 2013 holds something better for us, I believe the universe honors that, and seeks to help bring about that good for us. Likewise, if we believe, as you stated in your post, that 2013 is going to be a dismal year for you, the universe will agree with that too, and seek to help you make it a dismal year.

Try to focus more on the positives in your life, blazefly. You'll be happier, as will those around you. You'll also feel more positive and sure of yourself. What I know for sure is that most hiring managers have a 6th sense of how we're feeling about ourselves. When we feel sure and capable, they sense that. But, when we feel negative and down about life, they sense that too.

You say you're not going to give up, but, everything about your post says that you have. More than ANYone, I know how difficult it is to try to hold on to optimism when your life seems to be slipping slowly into the abyss despite ALL of your efforts to keep it from doing so. I've absolutely been there, to the point where I wondered why I was even born. But, the dark days, the really, really difficult days, where there seemed to be no answer to be found, taught me that I have to hold on when I'm BEYOND wanting to continue to hold on. They taught me that I'm much stronger than I thought I was. They taught me to continue to believe in myself and my abilities, even when no one else seemed to. They taught me that there is always something to be thankful for - and to learn to focus on them, rather than what was going wrong in my life.

It's all about perception, blazefly. Although they absolutely seem to be, our problems are not the problem. Our problem is the way we PERCEIVE our problems.

There is a reason you're alienating people, blazefly. But, that can turn into a blessing in disguise for you if you allow it to. Sometimes it's painful, but, sometimes the best thing we can ever do is take a long, heartfelt, honest look at ourselves.

Wishing you all the best - and every blessing in 2013,
Janice

"Many will have a nice Christmas, but for others it's going to be a harsh reminder of our present economic situation.
I am not waiting on no one to give me anything, what the problem is still they are so greedy and heartless that they will use anything as a reason not to hire.
A lot of people still say,"You got to keep looking, the jobs are out there." Where at ? From what I have seen and experience that's the biggest lie I ever heard in my life, next to getting a education will pay off
Everyone want you to be cheerful and optimistic, but it is hard when you lose everything that's matter to you.
When people just refuse to understand your situation or hardship."

ooh do i agree!!! my therapist says i need to positive in my job search. i lost my faith on xmas and now it is just a day waiting for the next day on the awesome deals that is all i see out of it. i told her (therapist) my own parents are not even helping me stay afloat i can barely get to where i need to go to get somewhere for jobs.

i started limiting my time online looking for a job because it is too overwhelming and need to have some fun sometime; a walk, playing with video games, playing with something, etc. i have been able to attend this women's center in my state more positive than my own parents!

i agree the next 4 more years it will get worse and the citizens will end up paying for it big time. my therapist is so optimistic about the economy and told me recessions come and go. i looked at her thinking how many times have they said that on tv that the economy will be over in a couple years?!? but we are still in this mess!!!

i am still looking for work hate hearing keep trying u will get it soon. i have not been able to find anything at all! i agree there are no jobs not enough for everyone to go around especially when u see an engineer applying for a low wage and ur applying for the same thing. i have a huge gap in my resume i cant afford to do volunteering i need an income first and foremost for me.

hi blazefly ..... please do not predict that all of 2013 will be bad .... it is not fair to yourself and not good for avoiding stress ..... I have been thru alot and found that looking back is not a good thing .... it is hard not to do, but a necessity for staying out of a rut. I found thru experience that people in the business world don't care about our hardships; they are just interested in our experience and our attitudes to see if we will fit into their job culture ... when we go into the business mode, especially when typing a cover letter, we have to be professional and show enthusiasm without any drama .... this will be hard for me, because I would like to start begging in a cover letter .... I wonder if there is a tactful way to do that!! Anyone, please reply; need suggestions .... :)