Unemployment Support Group
Recently unemployed or frustrated with the job search? Unemployment can affect more than just the bank account - it has a negative effect on motivation and self-esteem, even sense of identity. This community addresses the challenges associated with unemployment and how to cope.
Hi everyone
I just want a bit of advice, my partner has been made redundant and is looking for work, and my family are very judgemental, and they dont agree with me being with my partner as he is english and i am indian. If they knew he wasnt working they wudnt be very impressed! On the other side of things i do want them to be proud of me and i do want my partner to have a stable secure job so when and if my family decide to go against me and disown me i know that i will have that security from my partner, cus theres no way i am leaving my family to be financially not stable! i will like him to be the main breadwinner when i have children - cus i wudnt want to work full time - i'd like to take a year or two off until my kids are older and can go to nursery - or maybe work part time on the side. I know its his responsiblity to find work and he is, but is it going to be enough in my situation.
I just want a bit of advice, my partner has been made redundant and is looking for work, and my family are very judgemental, and they dont agree with me being with my partner as he is english and i am indian. If they knew he wasnt working they wudnt be very impressed! On the other side of things i do want them to be proud of me and i do want my partner to have a stable secure job so when and if my family decide to go against me and disown me i know that i will have that security from my partner, cus theres no way i am leaving my family to be financially not stable! i will like him to be the main breadwinner when i have children - cus i wudnt want to work full time - i'd like to take a year or two off until my kids are older and can go to nursery - or maybe work part time on the side. I know its his responsiblity to find work and he is, but is it going to be enough in my situation.
There are no guarantees in life. There is no guarantee that even if he finds a better paying job he won't be laid off again, or for that matter that he won't step off the curb and get hit by a bus! Then what happens to your financial support system?
I was married to a man for 23 years who had the capability to provide an above average income for his family. He chose a job in a small town well beneath his income generating potential. I was fine with that because I loved him regardless of where he worked.
I worked outside the home at any job I could get, but after awhile I decided that if I wanted more, I had better do it myself. I went back to school, got my degree and finally had a decent job with benefits.
A few years later he came home one morning to tell me he did not love me and did not want to be married to me. My security went out the window. The only thing I had to fall back on was me! I moved, bought a house, found a great job all on my own.
I loved this man and never regret marrying him; but nothing is for sure. Certainly not money or financial security. Unfortunately, like many on this board I am now unemployed and looking for work.
The way I see it is; you either love this person for the man he is and want to be with this person in a committed relationship or you don't. Don't fool him and don't fool yourself into thinking otherwise.