Understanding Betrayal Community Group
Traumatic events, such as natural disasters and criminal attacks shatter assumptions about our sense of safety in the world. In a similiar way, the discovery of infidelity is devastating because it shatters basic assumptions about the security we expect in committed relationships. This group is open to anyone. It's a place to share, learn, and talk freely. Let's...
To me, my situation used to seem very unique. My friend cheated with my husband. I kind of thought that was a rare thing, but after being here for so long, I see that maybe it is not.
So I am curious how many people knew the OM/OW as a friend?
I know I have had a really hard time with being betrayed by my H, but also by a friend. I think there are moments that the friendship part is worse. Not because we were great friends, because we weren't the best of friends, but she knew me and she knew I loved my H and she knew my feelings on infidelity. I don't let a lot of people in close, because I don't trust a lot of people, but I did let her into my life and around my family and it was all just a game to her. That bothers me on so many different levels.
I am also just truly bothered by the whole sisterhood thing. Call it silly or crazy, but I think I probably expect more out of women than men. There was a time that I really believed in that sisterhood philosophy. I have always been surrounded by women like that. You treat your girls like you would want to be treated, you have a bond as women, there are just lines you don't cross. She is the first woman in my life that has crossed that line and it is so disappointing.
So anyway, I just wondered how many out there have been in this same situation and how do you deal with the betrayal of a friend and your spouse at the same time?
So I am curious how many people knew the OM/OW as a friend?
I know I have had a really hard time with being betrayed by my H, but also by a friend. I think there are moments that the friendship part is worse. Not because we were great friends, because we weren't the best of friends, but she knew me and she knew I loved my H and she knew my feelings on infidelity. I don't let a lot of people in close, because I don't trust a lot of people, but I did let her into my life and around my family and it was all just a game to her. That bothers me on so many different levels.
I am also just truly bothered by the whole sisterhood thing. Call it silly or crazy, but I think I probably expect more out of women than men. There was a time that I really believed in that sisterhood philosophy. I have always been surrounded by women like that. You treat your girls like you would want to be treated, you have a bond as women, there are just lines you don't cross. She is the first woman in my life that has crossed that line and it is so disappointing.
So anyway, I just wondered how many out there have been in this same situation and how do you deal with the betrayal of a friend and your spouse at the same time?
I was hit totally out of the blue. We were so happy, we never fought, had great sex, he was with me all the time. We were completely in love and so very very happy. Then, I left to visit family during Thanksgiving, I was gone two weeks, I guess 2 weeks was too long for his pants to stay on.
So I had his betrayal, her betrayal and now they are a couple and both work where I work so I get to see their relationship shoved in my face everyday.
I’ve been killing myself trying to figure out why this was happening to me. Does God hate me? Am I being punished for something, punished for loving him too much? I hate that out of the three of us, I’m the only one who did nothing wrong, the only one who has nothing to feel guilty about, however I’m the one being punished. I’m the one suffering, I’m the one crying myself to sleep each night, while they get to live this happy go lucky life not caring about the life they had destroyed.