I also knew the OW. Well 1 of them. There have been several. But the one he chose to spend over a year & a half with was a "friend" and neighbor. To make it worse I had caught the 2 of them in the act in her driveway when he was suppossed to walk her home-3 doors down! He never walked her home before. To SEE it all and then to have H promise no contact with her unless I was present, and to tell her to stay away and she would show up all of the time with her 4yr old daughter in tow, I tried to trust them and not bring her daughter & my 2 youngest kids who played whith her& had sleepovers with her into the mess that those 2 selfish people made. But that wasn't enough. She called H will he traveled, & he was all to eager to break that promise and start meeting up with her at the hotel nearby during "lunch" or on the way to or from the airport. Hell, I even gave up my beautiful home & moved to get away from her & that wasn't enough either.

Yea, so not only do I deal with all the lies and betrayal from H but from her too. And the fact that they both seemed to get off on playing games with my life, his horrible insults about me in front of her, and now I can see them together in my head so vividly that it makes me hurt all of the time. He chose to forever change my life & I don't think he really cares. I don't make friends with other women , I have a couple with much older women, ones who are more like a mom, but I can't ever have another female friend that would betray me along with him.

I know for me I will never get over being betrayed by both & that seemed to make it even more exciting for them both. So, I will only have male friends now. I have never had a problem not crossing the line and have always had friends of both sexes, but I will forever miss having close female friends. Just one more loss because of selfish decisions.

One worked with my H and the other I didn't know. As painful as this has been I cannot imagine being betrayed by a friend as well.

I knew of her. My H had been working with her for a while, before I was aware. I was never informed that he was working with a young woman, regularly... I met AFTER our son was born. Before he was born, and right after he was born, H was distancing himself from me... I knew something was happening, and I was very concerned, but I couldn't put my finger on it. For the longest time, infidelity was the furtherist thing from my mind. NOT MY HUSBAND. I was mad at myself for even considering cheating. As time passed, he got worse, he slowly turned into someone that I didn't know anymore. No matter what I did to reach out to him, he wouldn't respond.

We went to a work bday party.. pool party.. our son was 3 mths old. This was the first time I had really been around this woman. I'd met her briefly right after our son was born, and I picked up on something I didn't like.. Looking back, I know this now, she was mad at me the day we brought the baby by the office... I sensed it then, but was oblivious. Well, at our second meeting (the pool party), I knew right from the start. They were sharing something I didn't know about. He was trying to avoid me as much as he could that day... In the pool... Just everywhere... and she was everywhere we were. It was HORRIBLE... But that's the day... I found out why the moodiness and anger... Finally, I KNEW what was going on and exactly who she was... So of course, out come the questions... and the lying began... Almost 2 years of lying.. WOW!!!

But.. we we're not friends.. ever!

I did not know the OM. It was an old high school buddy she had.

I am about the worst of any stories here. OM's W was a very good friend. A long-time friend. She trusted me very much and for a lot of years she encouraged OM's & my friendship. I am not sure why, but I think because OM always liked to have women friends and here I was, married, lots of kids, and we were also couple friends. She probably felt that it was a safe friendship for him to have. I did not know it, but it did start to bother her in the last few years (maybe it always did?), but she did not tell anyone. After the affair came out she did admit this to my H. I think it was hard for her because she had always been an advocate of 'men and women can be friends' and we had had a few discussions about this, her trying to convince me and H that it was OK. She actually helped me to convince myself that OM's & my friendship was acceptable and normal.

I know that she had a lot of faith in both her H and me. Too much. Way too much. And we let her down completely.

I did not know the OW..neither of them. My H met both at work..two different jobs. The first was 11 years ago and the second fairly recent..just a couple of months. H doesn't consider the second time an affair because she was just a "friend" he could talk to and hangout with..I feel like anytime you spend time with another person, when you could be spending time with your spouse or family, while keeping it a secret...it's an affair.

What do yall think?

i dnk the om.

Unfortunately, the o/w was my so called friend/neighbor and boss, she is a Dr. and this just complicates the whole story. She knew that I was suffering from a low libido and I was worried about her and her clinic. Isn't that rich...

Her license has been suspended for many reasons, including the affair, and H and I most likely will testify in July for the state dept of health.
So you can see why I struggle with resentment and bitterness for all the crap H has brought upon us. Still working on the forgiveness thing.

The OW was my friend (or so I thought). I trusted her and she was always a proponent of the "sisterhood" philosophy and that women should have each other's backs. I later found out it was a bunch of BS. She had a reputation for being a flirt and a tease and I had heard that she slept around even though she is married, but I never thought she would cross that line with my H. I encouraged him to help her when she needed it and trusted them to be alone together. She exploited that trust and seduced him. Of course I fault him for giving in to her seduction, but I don't think he would have ever cheated if she had not opened the door so I feel very betrayed by her. I now understand that in her mind any man is fair game. The affair opened my eyes to a lot of things about my H, other women, and our society that I really wish I'd never have seen.

I didn't even know the OW existed

Yes, I knew at least some of the several OMs. I defended one, another was my best friend and I worked with a couple of othe others.

The OW was my best friend and next door neighbor. She was divorced, living alone and older. I never suspected. I was completely blindsided by the affair. No clue...looking back, saw plenty of clues but because of the lies and deceit - I did not see them for what they were.

She was very good at what she did. She even told another neighbor months before the affair started, that she was going to seduce him away from me. That she wanted what I had and was determined to get it. Well, she almost got it....almost!!!

yes I knew the other woman, and it kills me.

Yes I knew her. SlutFeatures as we affectionately refer to her. It annoys me that I'm more pissed off with her than him, that I hold her to a higher standard - but I think I do that because I thought she was an intelligent member of the sisterhood. But I learned very quickly, as someone else has said, that any man was fair game in her mind. What I really loved, was the emails afterward from her, wanting to be friends and trying to justify her behaviour. Ha.
I'm really lucky I wasnt married to him - I dumped him and her and anyone who support her. A year down the track, I'm dating two fantastic guys and I know I'm going to have make a choice soon. I'm thinner, fitter, richer, so much happier - and they're both still sitting at home like the faithless losers they are. Karma baby.

Sad to say but I am in the same boat with anguished