Almost 6 months past d-day (next week is the anniversary), and the trust number fluctuates from day to day. I would say that it floats anywhere in between a 3 and an 8. Today is a 5.

1 moth past the dday of finding out about a 1.5 year affair with multiple partners however it was all online. It is the emotional connection that she made with others and the planning of RL meet ups that pains. I do not trust her much but I am trying to every day. I think why I let it bother me most is we met online in the same virtual wold as these men and women and I gave her all of me in RL as well spend hours $ and never expected when I was at work she would have virtual sex with others under our roof after just moving in here last April and continue to do it till this past August.
I proposed to her on 1/1/11 and found out about the others 1/15/11. Trying my hardest to work it out. One day at a time
Damn sorry I went off topic and ranted guess I needed to.

16 months from dday. Just found out he is still lying and involved with both women never really stopped. Yet he says he loves me so much? I would say -10 at this point I am in the bedroom with the door locked.

I am four months past. Some days I feel a 10, some days like I will never trust anyone again. The person he cheated with was involved in the same hobby as him, i.e. like a sailing club or something similar. Even though she is now across the country, its hard because I hate to ask him to quit sailing but whenever it comes up I feel sheer panic. They are on some of the same forums.

I think worse than not trusting others is wondering if I will ever trust myself again. My ability to see what is really going on is clearly non existent. A lot of trust is in the head, but it is also felt, and sometimes I wonder if that part of my heart will stop being paraylyzed. I wonder if my mind will be willing to give the benefit of the doubt. I wonder if I will be WILLING to even try to trust.

I know I just need to walk through this. I take one day at a time and I don't worry about next week, next month or next year.

Just under 2 months since "D-day". It varies, but overall I don't trust him not to ever do this again and I don't trust myself to have a clue.

Apolli-

Much like you I have to find a way to stay in the place where I can accept and be okay with NOT having a guarantee.

There is NOTHING I could have done to prevent his A and there's NOTHING I can do to prevent him from having another.

I don't have to stick around-that is a choice.

I don't have to spend the rest of my years with a cheater---the balls in his court now. I'm going to continue to be the wife I was to him before his A. If he steps out again---he's a looser---cause he'll loose me---and I'm a pretty good catch, even if I do say so myself. I know I'm a good wife. Hell, I'm a good person. All I'm asking is for someone to treat and respect me the same as I do for them.

2 months isn't long at all. It will get better, I promise.

Say goodbye to the person you once were---that person is dead. Hopefully, you can say the same about the person that cheated you. That person needs to die too---(so to speak.)

It's been almost 6 months now and it still feels like it all happened just yesterday. I'd say my trust level is still very low...about 1.5 to 3. After he lied straight to my face over and over and over again it is hard for me to believe anything he says...how do I know he isn't still lying? It really scares me to death just how easy it was for him to lie to me...I never knew how good of a liar he could be. He had me convinced I was crazy sometimes for accusing him because at the time I had no proof. I honestly will never trust him completely ever again and I'm not sure if our relationship will ever work because I can't.

don't trust it only screws you in the end over time life repeats itself.

its been 2 years.... and it still hurts some days. I don't always trust like I should.... I don't think I have it in me to fully trust anyone anymore after the A. I keep working at it though.... I want to believe that trust can be rebuilt.

Wow, I feel like you guys are reading my mind! Cheated on by nearly everyone I've dated CHECK, SO whose lying ability literally gives me nightmares at night CHECK, Not willing to be with anyone ever again if I this one cheats again, CHECK again. D even lies when I am pointing to hard evidence of his wrong doing, very discouraging. The really sad part is that I purposely spent 4 years alone - no hugging, touching, dating, NOTHING with the opposite sex so that I could get right with myself, build self esteem, raise my son, get to know myself. I was really afraid to start dating again because looking back at the failed relationships I didn't like the crazy woman that the lies men tell turned me into - you know, when you feel like a schizophrenic becuase you KNOW something is up and he's not telling the truth, but he SWEARS he is and you have NO proof so of course it's all in your head - Holy Crap can they twist us up and screw with us.

When I met this one I vowed to myself that I was NOT going to distrust him, I was not going to be overly attached to him - you know keep our separate intersts and friends - use good communication skills not try to read his mind and expect him to read mine. I had not been happier with someone in a REALLY long time - it was noticeable to my family. Not to mention I make more money, the house we live in is mine, I better educated, better with money, etc I did not think for a million dollars this guy would go ANYWHERE.

How stupid was I... The whole time he was living with me (part of it unemployed) he was spending money on paid whore sites where he could instruct the whore what to do, he even shared his webcam with at least one of them to show her his body in MY HOUSE while denying that me and my son existed at all! Just me and my dog in my house! He regularly told these women that he loved them and wanted to have babies with them. If you aren't already sick to your stomache the best part is coming. I got the phone bill last July and it all of a sudden more than doubled. The same phone number for 30 some pages worth of texts - and that's just he phone number listed over and over again. LONG story and many lies shorter - he hooked up with a girlfriend from 20 years earlier, was looking for apartments to get away from his evil girlfirend and start back up with this ex where they left off - engaged! It went on for a month before I finally got the truth out of him - I was actaully already kicking him out of the house before he finally admitted to sleeping with her ONCE - it was a lot more of course... SO YEAH - Shocked as Hell by the LATEST incident of being cheated on....CHECK

I am two weeks out from dday. So I give my husband a 3 as of now. From the day I found out, he gave me access to everything he owns credit card accounts, emails, computer, phone, and so on. He also went in for all his tests to make sure he doesnt have any nasty diseases. He is also seeking professional help. But I still only give him a 3...I am hoping someday it can change and itcan be at least a 8, I doubt I will ever be able to totally trust him. I think that hurt the most, as that was one thing that I always valued high in our marriage...trust. :(

They take our values ( honesty, not cheating) and totally piss on them. If they decide they want to date, then the non-cheating spouse should have that option also. I find that in 95% of the case, the first spouse to cheat is the husband. i say - give the a dose of their own medicine, since fidelity isn't high on their list, then we can BOTH cheat. No problem. See how THAT works for them.

It is so sad when trust is broken, it can only be earned not given. I don't trust my husband at all, he has hurt me too many times and he is not willing to change. You might ask why I'm still in the marraige- a long story.
I feel for anyone who has similar struggles. HUGS