I am only 2 months past dday-so I'm still a babe at this. A small amount of trust is coming back-but its a VERY SMALL amount. But at this point, feeling any trust at all is a miracle, so I am greatful for that. I feel it will all come in time if he continues the way he is right now, which is loving and tender, and being suprisingly understanding when I am feeling blue lately. Initially he wasn't, he would get angry or defensive, but lately, he has just been more loving. Maybe he is finally admitting to himself how much this has hurt me and is loving me enough to help me past it. I hope so, because it has been making things better.

well my story is a bit different he has lied to me not cheated and the lie has nothing to do with any other woman but it hurt me really badly. since i found out i found myself being extremely paranoid and bombarding him with questions about what he is doing and whether he is lying again. trust is like a glass once its broken you can put the peices together but you will always see those cracks.

lying is never good... it's, IMO, a terribly BAD habit. My H is a great liar and we're talking about little shit. I'm amazed at the shit he pulls out of his ass in the spare of the moment. I'm no where near that savey when it comes to telling tales. You just as well write, "I'm lying," all over me. You can see right through me. H, different story, and it really scares me sometimes---when I allow myself to really think about it.

Next week we are at the 6 month mark. I am going to assume that 1 is little trust and 10 is fully trusting on your scale. I am at a 1.5.

I'm 4mths out of discovering affair number 3 and my trust level for ALL men is -1. I'd like to think that I'll trust someone again someday, but I'm not giving any guarantees.

Will you stay this time, eve?? Just curious what your decision will be?? Three times is so hard---I can't imagine. I've had it done to me twice---but by two different Hs. My first H cheated and I left him for it, my second H cheated (much worse) and I decided to stay and rebuild. A big reason why I chose to stay was I figured that if I found someone else---more than likely he'd cheat on me too. So---I just as well stay where I'm at---it's not the ONLY reason I chose to stay, but it was key. Somtimes I feel like I'm just waiting for it to happen again... I think that if it does happen again I will just have to cut my loses and go on with my life. I don't think I would ever marry again---just seems like a big joke to me these days. I'd date, be committed and just have a good time being on my own. It's easy for me to say all this because I'm not going through it---I could make totally different decisions if it was in my face...

Peace to you, Eve.

Love, I hate to admit it but being burned twice made me realize that chances are a new H won't necessarily be an upgrade.

This is my 2nd time but with a different H. I has really blown me for a loop. My first H was a #1 spoiled, self-centered jerk, so it hurt, but did not shock me the way it has this time. I truly believed my H would never ever cheat, its not that I thought it was never possible to have problems or drift apart, but because we had both been thru divorces because of infidelity-I thought that he would never do it knowing how devastating it is. I was wrong. Now I am left feeling like I am trying to rebuild my relationship with a totally foreign instruction book! If this doesn't work out this time, I know I am not the kind of person to be alone, but I don't know that I could ever trust a man again to marry him. I 100% trusted D, and I was so wrong about that-how can I trust my judgement again? At this point I am beginning to believe all men are capable presented the right circumstances and that is just so discouraging!

I haven't had a man in my life who has treated me the way I wish to be treated. I think all new brides should be aware before they say " I do" that the odds are that they will be cheated on.

Every man I have ever dated seriously has cheated on me and both my husbands cheated. Nice, huh? I used to say to my H (a long time ago) you're the ONLY man that's never cheated on me---but can't say that anymore... Sad.

lovemarriage, you are right. It is VERY sad. Sex, honesty, integrity means so much to us, yet men drop the pants with no thought of it. I don't trust them. I don't believe anymore. I used to think it meant so much. Now sex means nothing to me. Its not lovemaking. Lovemaking means making a connection with someone who you trust and who can be trusted. Now at 6:00 a.m. when he wants to 'do it', I think of the mornings he woke up with OW and wanted the same. What is so special about sex with him now? Nothing...because it meant so little to him when it was everything to me. Now he wants it to mean something to me, but he destroyed that. That glow of intimacy I thought we had is gone.

I would say my trust level is about a 3. I had to have hard proof before my h would admit his A. I asked him quite a few times before and he always denied that anything was going on. he lied to me for many years so I don't think I will ever trust him again or believe that we will always be together. I feel so sad that we have lost that special feeling but I can't see it changing. I am 16 months past day but h's A lasted for over 4 years. h is doing everything to make me feel special and says he was so stupid because he loves me and always has but I have lost that feeling that what we had was special.

3 months and I am trying to work with her on reconcilitation. Trust? well i am doing my best under the circumstances. I give myself totally everyday. Its when she says things like she has no feelings for me. This is so hurtful that i sometimes wonder if i am even doing the right thing. Trust... I do until there is something left out of the picture, maybe not intentional or maybe it is. but then my head fills with doubts.
Where is that one woman that will love me as i want to love them. and where is the one that wont cheat?

I am 16 mos past day and I would say my trust level is about a 5. My H is also a natural liar and it is a trigger for me. when ever he lies just to make life easier for him I call him a liar and walk out. Being called a liar to his face hurts him but I think he now gets how much it upsets me.

I am two years past d day... and I'd have to say a five also. I still check H emails and FB occasionally. I hate that I feel so cynical about men in general. I feel that there aren't any trustworthy men out there, that if given the opportunity they will cheat. If my husband does this again I will not stay and I will not get married again.

Sorry if this sounds bitter... just feeling it lately :(