CONSTANTLY!

I am so sick of hearing "But what did I do?"
He doesn't seem to get it, and I don't know how to make him understand my sadness/anger/irritation (take your pick) isn't because of something he's done or hasn't done.

It's frustrating, isn't it?

I think with bipolar its double tougt on a relationship. With other issues or feeling distant, this just makes it worse. I know I dont treat my spouse the best, and we have issue, so it just makes it all worse. Do we use it as an excuse? Maybe sometimes I do.

Paul was an angel about the bipolar, he actually was the one who looked up everything on the computer and told the doctor he thought that's what it was. The medical community agreed and I've done really well on meds. However, I didn't realize he was an inveterate cheater. Maybe it's something he can't help, like I can't help my bipolarness; but I can't live any longer with a man who cheats. I'm scared to be on my own, and know I'm likely to be broke most the time, but I need to trade in my cushy life and cheating husband for sanity.

my husband is the same when i have my bad days he trys so hard to make me happy but it always seems to make it worst i feel bad for him working so hard and it not working

My husband was with me when the dr diagnosed me and we researched it together. He has been with me 100%, we even do my workbook together. He tracks my moods and lets me know when I am becoming manic because I tend to not see it and go off the deep end. He does wonder sometimes if it is his fault when I am down but doing research and the workbook together has helped curb that.

My husband is just the opposite, he has no interest in helping I've even asked him to read up on my disorder and he has not. He has never been very emotionally open about his feelings I just play the guessing game all the time, me losing. His lack of emotion and or sexual affection has just left me hurting and wondering. We can go days with out speaking, then he will ask "whats wrong" that's a good one because when I try telling him my feelings it only starts an argument. I will tell him "I love you", or "honey I want you so bad" ....he will laugh and thats the end of that. We literally made love (if thats what you call it) 4x's last year! 3 weeks ago we had sex I cried, he asked why I was crying. I said that I almost wanted to turn you down because it had been so long; the hurt and anger was gone, and I know i had to go through it all over again. It just makes my bipolar issues harder to deal with!!!

im bipolar and just got married for the 2nd time, my wife understands me and we do have our up and downs but what couple doesn't right? She is a great caring person and i still can't believe she loves me and puts up with my crap!!!

Being married and Bipolar is not the easiest thing to do. I am married and Bipolar I have had to deal with times when my husband didn't understand my illness and thought he could do something to change things. It breaks my heart when that happens.

Yep

G'day guys,

i am new here and I don't know if I am bi-polar or not. There is certainly something wrong and what I read here seems to fit pretty well.

I think my ex-wife might have been bi-polar. her behaviour patterns seemed to fit very well.

As the spouse, I often wondered what I had done wrong to piss her off, but at the time, I certainly had no understanding of what Bi-Polar is and I don't think she did either. I have to tell you that the constant walking on egg shells around her when she was "manic" if that is the right word for it, went a very long way towards the eventual demise of our marriage.

Please try to be gentle and patient with your spouses.

Mick

I just feel envious that you have managed to have relationships at all. Its something I can't manage tho I would love to have someone in my life.

boy join the group looney - me too. I've stayed out of relationships for years now - about 10 because I have so much trouble with them. But I'm pretty lonely and would like to have someone in my life too.

Ladies I can relate to both of you. I am married but she is in her 70's and I am still in my early 60's and feel like I am with my grand mother.

I am not married but I live with my boyfriend who refuses to see that I have a mental disability. He just keeps telling me to stop letting the doctors and my family (who abandoned me) tell me who/what I am and what I need. I appreciate it to a degree because at least I have found one person in this world that actually will stick up for me and tell me I am NOT insane (he got into a HUGE fight with the doctors at a hospital that were trying to restrain me for no reason because they thought my tremors were me about to hit them).

But then when I am in my mood swings and upset for no reason, he just doesnt get its not him. He gets upset and keeps asking what he did almost on the verge of tears. I tried throwing a bipolar pamplet at him one night when i just felt like being alone, but he refuses to learn about it. SOOOOOO FRUSTRATING!!!

Have you told him it's not personal and that you have a way of thinking that has nothing to do with reason or reality? His job isn't to fix it. If he's up to the task, his job is to accept you for all you are. Sometimes this means time apart. He needs to know it has nothing to do with him. He may still want to fix it, but he may understand a little better.