Twins, Triplets & More Support Group
Triplets & More","This community connects people seeking information and experiences about multiple births. Different names for multiple birth are used, depending on the actual multiple. Common multiples are two and three, known as twins and triplets respectively. Share your thoughts and find whatever support you need."
We almost hate each other. Well not quite but we act like it a lot. We both have super jealousy issues towards one another and I think she is a sociopath where as she thinks I'm narcissistic...which I'm not, because I actually don't really have high self esteem...anyways is common for twins to be like this? I mean we don't just fight, we resent each other.
I hope that you and your sister can work out your issues. Perhaps having a heart to heart and trying to understand each others perspectives may help. Perhaps not. It does sound like you want things to be better between you though, so it doesn't hurt to try to reconnect. Best of luck to you.
Reply #3 - 10/14/12 4:58pm
I lost my identical twin brother Dan to suicide in August 2009. We were 33 years old at the time. We are both gay. Although we are identical twins, we did not get along very well for the most part. We shared similar interests, hobbies, and friends, but our personalities differed. We got along better when we were younger and were more attached at the hip then--although, not totally attached at the hip. Things got worse as time passed: Dan got even more distant. My brother Dan held onto a lot of anger and resentment. It's a long story.
It's funny. Have you ever seen the TV show "The Vampire Diaries"? The relationship of the vampire (non-twin) brothers, Stefan (the younger brother) and Damon (the older brother) Salvatore (two of the main characters in the show) reminds me a lot of the friction I found in Dan's and my relationship. Our relationship was not as dramatic, obviously. What bothers and hurts me in a way was that even Stefan and Damon (despite their animosity toward each other) stood up for each other and remain, for the most part, loyal to each other--they both needed each other and had a strong (even though not always happy) relationship: such a profound and pronounced relationship, it was like that of twins-->I feel as though Dan and I did not even have THAT much in our relationship. Dan isolated himself. He alienated others (wrote off friends and family) and was very secretive toward everyone his last 10 years or so of life. He would screen calls, say he couldn't talk when he answered the phone, etc. I wanted to be part of his life, but Dan would not let me or anbody (as far as I know) in.
We had our good moments though. When I think of Dan now, I think about the happy times we shared. It's strange, but my mind does not drift toward the many unpleasant times. I really miss him. I want to bring him back. I am not angry at Dan; I am very upset that he was feeling that bad inside that he committed suicide. I feel as though, if his family and friends were more loving (including me), we could have prevented his death.
A week or two ago, I was listening to my music CDs. I played the album "Fallen" by Evanescence, which I had not listened to for years. When the song "My Immortal" played, I was suddenly pouring down crying. It's like the dam had just burst. I imagined just standing there holding Dan to show him the love I feel for him, to ease his pain.
Yes, I would love to have Dan back in my life again--at pretty much any cost. I hope he's in a better and happier place now. He deserves to be happy. Although not the chummiest brothers, we are still very much connected.
Feel free to message me, if you like. I would like to be your friend.
-Matt
I'm sure it's perfectly normal to go through different phases with your twin. I hope that my twins will be as close as they have become.