Twins, Triplets & More Support Group

Triplets & More","This community connects people seeking information and experiences about multiple births. Different names for multiple birth are used, depending on the actual multiple. Common multiples are two and three, known as twins and triplets respectively. Share your thoughts and find whatever support you need."

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/ Twins, Triplets & More Support Group

competition between twins

scubagal
scubagal
Hello all! I'm a little concerned about something, and wanted to get your input/advice/interpretation of this situation. My twin girls are now almost 10 months old. They are HIGHLY competitive. If they are playing on the floor and one heads for a toy, the other will drop their toy and try to beat the other one to the toy she was trying to get to. It is especially bad with DH and I. If one of us is sitting in the living room while the girls are playing, it is sometimes fine. They will go about their business as normal - but if one of them heads for either of us, the other drops whatever they are doing and comes flying over as fast as she can. If we are holding the first one that came over, the other starts screaming! They are not generally spoiled, and can both play alone or with the other for the most part - but this competition (especially over us) is starting to concern me a little. I don't know what to do about it. Will this just run its course, is this something that will go on for the rest of their lives, or is there something we should be doing about it?
suzyhopes
suzyhopes
My girls started that at about the same age. It's gotten much better now (they're 21 months) I think the concept that it's the same thing/toy isn't there yet and if "my sister thinks it's neat, I want it too." They don;t have a share concept at that age, but it's a good time to start instilling it in them, taking turns etc. It will last for a while(probably their whole life in different ways) but I think you'll find it gets better.
whiskeytangofoxtrot
whiskeytangofoxtrot
Well I'll say that at 12 years old they still do the same thing. Who gets to the door first. Who gets the better fork at dinner. Who gets the bigger piece of something. Who gets to sit next to mom on the couch..EVERYTHING is a competition.

ARGHHH!!! All I can do is laugh sometimes.

And yeah, just keep trying the taking turns thing. I honestly don't know if it will ever end.....lol

or if you figure it out can you let me know....
deleted_user
deleted_user
Your girls are too cute! My girls are very competitive too and are always paying attention with what is going on with the other one. If one plays patty-cake or gets some kind of attention then the other one gets upset. They get mad if one is eating - and even protest because they've 'compared notes' on what the other baby is eating (one of mine has food allergies so they don't always eat the same thing). For example, I feed one a spoonful and then the other and sometimes that 3 seconds is unacceptable to them - they'll kick or scream or hit the tray. I had one friend tell me she had to feed her twins from behind their highchairs so they couldn't see her. Yes, that is crazy but you can see how it could occur. Here is one thing I've noticed though. I have 4 friends with girl/boy twins and they say they were not competetive like my girls are. I am thinking that perhaps having a same sex twin creates a more competive relationship. It makes sense that with gender differences they'd be more apt to have differering interests. Not sure if that is helpful but it is normal.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My girls are six and it still happens no manner what we do.They think they have to have the same thing.
deleted_user
deleted_user
yeah mine are at 14 months and they didn't used to be competitive but its getting more noticeable now. We're trying to install sharing early but it's been a real challenge.. They seem to respond better when we give large amounts of praise for sharing and Lexi for once didn't steal her sisters bottle yesterday when she normally would have. Hopefully this is a turning point for us.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have boy/girl twins, 26 months old, and they both frequently desire whatever the other has - toys, mama, dada, 'up'. I agree with suzyhopes, "If he/she likes it, I will, too." For the last three months we've been working on 'turns'. "Brynn's turn." "Liam's turn." They really get it and it's been working out tremendously well. Not perfect, but tremendously well! I wish I'd started using these terms long before they were articulating.