If she is a friend I would be honest and tell her that you feel sad for her and dont want to upset her but also want to be able to talk about your pregnancy. Ask her if she would be ok with you talking about your pregnancy that way you will not have to guess. I too am pregnant with twins and had to tip toe around someone who did not share my same joy. It was much easier to just communicate my feelings to her and she was glad that I did.
Twila

I was on the opposite end of this situation. I went through 4.5 years of infertility and 6 miscarriages before I had my twins. Everyone I knew got pregnant during that time. I would give her space but let her know you are there for her if she needs you. Don't take it personal if she doesn't go to you for comfort though. Pregnant people were usually the last people I wanted to talk to during rough periods of time like this. I'm sure she feels just as awkward as you do. She is probably very happy for you, just sad for herself.

I have had 3 miscarriages and am now pregnant with twins. The last thing you should talk about with her is your pregnancy. She is hurting, sad, angry and will pull away from everything. Be a friend to her. Just be someone to listen to her pain when she does open up or want to talk about it. The biggest thing is to let her know you are there for her to talk because when you lose a child no matter how far along you are you blame yourself first. It took me a year to get pregnant the first time and I miscarried at 5 weeks. Then I miscarried at 8 weeks and then at 10. Each time it gets worse and when she finally does become pregnant it will never be the same again for her. Everybody grieves in their own way. I think it is a great idea you told her to join DS on the miscarriage support group because there were many times I hit rock bottom and talking to people who went through it helped me big time. Patience and friendship is the best thing you can offer her. Also, when you give birth, be extra sensitive since you are further along she will be in the middle of pain while you are in the middle of joy. Hope this helps.

Thanks for the replies. My friend did join DS and is doing much better. We had a conversation at one point where I told her I didn't want to share anything about the pregnancy with her because I didn't want to cause her any more pain. She told me she was ok with it, but even now I don't share everything that's going on. She was invited to the baby shower with a message saying I would totally understand if she declined but I wanted her to feel included. It's definitely a process and I've been there for her as much as I can be, just as she has been there for me as much as she can be.

I agree with momhopes, I was also the one on the multiple miscarriage side, but honestly never bothered me that someone else was pregnant. so I was the one going to my friend (pregnant) for support, I had around 8 baby showers to attend during my 2 years of miscarriages (had 4).
let her be the one to come to you, the only advise I have for her is to move on, thinking about her loss will not help her (It did not help me ), but I know people that got stuck in a miscarriage and could not move on.
xo