TTC after stillbirth Community Group

A group for those who have suffered a stillbirth and are considering ttc or actively ttc again. We know the emotional challenges of trying again and who better to support us than others who have been through what we have been through.

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/ TTC after stillbirth Support Group

Tough Decision

mzjitt
mzjitt
I got back all my test results from visiting with a RE. Unfortunately, my husband and I did not hear great news. It appears that our best hope of conceiving is through IVF. If we try with my eggs we only have a 10 to 20% chance of success. The doctor recommends donor eggs which would give us up to a 50% chance. My husband and I agree that donor eggs are not an option for us. After what we went through with losing our precious baby boy, I just feel like using a strange woman's egg feels a bit like settling. It is hard enough to face all that goes with IVF but in the end I want my own 100% baby. Is that wrong? Have any of you faced that choice? I would love to get your feedback.
MissingmyEmi
MissingmyEmi
Wanting your own baby is not at all wrong, especially when you have already experienced being pregnant with your own baby. I am so sorry that you didn't get good test results, i will be praying for you and your husband. I am not knowledgeable about your situation but I am always here for you if you need support or just need to vent. I hope and pray for miracles for all of us! Big hugs!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm so very sorry to hear of the news that you all received. I can't imagine the added stress on top of just wanting to be pregnant again and have that joy of pregnancy. I just want to encourage you to keep hope alive and don't be afraid to chase your dream. If you and hour Hubby desire your own biological child, I believe that you should definitely shoot for that goal, especially since the 1 thing that lies in your favor is that you KNOW that you all are perfectly capable of creating a beautiful healthy child together. And if you think about it, your odds of success after 2-3 IVF cycles would be around the same percentage of success with using donor eggs (approx. 40-60 percent). And that's not bad, considering that some couples usually require atleast 2 cycles of IVF to have success. It may be a good idea to see if you all could do some type of Insurance plan with risk-sharing which allows you to get some of your money back if you don't get a healthy baby from the IVF procedure.
I feel in my heart that we have to always exhaust all resources and means before giving up on our dreams. Then if we have to change or settle, then we'll feel more at peace about it, knowing that we did all we could on our part. Wishing you lots of baby dust and prayers for another biological child.
mzjitt
mzjitt
Thank you both for your responses. I love this site because you can actually communicate with people who have unfortunately been there and know first hand what difficult decisions we must make. You both made me feel better about my decision. I had begun to question myself and think that perhaps I was being selfish. Even my grief therapist who normally passes no judgment was not supportive of me using my own eggs. I know my age is a factor and I am a realist, but I also know in my heart what is best for me. Thank you again and baby dust to us all! I will begin my IVF journey in June. May is my first angelversary and I did not want to go into the process with all the emotions that are sure to come that month.