Trying To Conceive Support Group
Whether you are just beginning your journey to create your family, or you have been trying for a few months, the TTC community will provide you with a group of like minded people who can help. It takes up to a year for the average fertile couple to achieve a successful pregnancy, and here at DailyStrength you will find information and support while you are waiting for...
I want to introduce myself to everyone. I'm new here and have been ttc for a really long time. I'm 37 yrs old and been married for 17 yrs. My ttc journey has been complicated. I won't get in to it right now. That's for another post. I turned to a support group because I feel alone. My husband and I are fighting now over ttc. We use to communicate well. But now not so much. He doesn't seem stressed over it. He doesn't seem to care at all. I have baby fever and it's all I think about. I'm starting clomid at the end of next month. I'll say to him " I hope it works". He'll say stay positive, and that's it. He doesn't want to talk about it any further. I feel like I'm torturing myself. I guess I am. Idk how to fix this... idk what to do... Today we haven't even talked at all to each other. If anyone has any tips pls share them.
I'm so sorry to hear that you are struggling with communicating with the hubby. I know this is a slightly older post, so hopefully you two have been able to sit down and talk over the last month and a half. But I just thought I would share that I have an incredibly supportive husband who has been by my side through this whole process, but last month, I too noticed he would be silent or very brief whenever I brought up our IVF journey or how I was feeling. I finally began crying about it and went to the bedroom to be alone. When he came in there, he could tell I had been crying, so of course, he asked me what was wrong. I lost it. I told him that I feel completely alone, and like I was the only one who even wanted this anymore. I told him that I needed him now more than ever, but every time I brought up the subject, he got quiet and distant. I told him that made me wonder if this was causing a strain between us that I wasn't aware of until now, because that would absolutely shatter my world. He is my best friend. At that point, he ran over and wrapped his arms around me. He said he was so sorry that he had seemed distant, and explained that the reason he was quiet was because he was trying desperately not to get his hopes too high, for fear that if something went wrong (as it has many times before down this road) he would be totally crushed, and unable to be strong for me. But then he said hearing me say I felt alone, he realized that this was absolutely the wrong way to go about it, and that he knows that he needs to open up more about it. I think our guys just really feel like they are charged with protecting us (including our broken hearts), so while we feel this innate need to be mommies, they also feel a need to protect us over anything and everything else. Sometimes I think our guys try so hard to be "strong" for us, that they don't realize in doing so, they seem cold or distant instead. I don't know if this is true for your man, but I imagine that since you two have been married for nearly two decades (congrats, by the way!) that he loves you more than anything in the world. Maybe you should try (when you aren't already arguing of course) to explain that his silence and brevity is doing the opposite of protecting you, and instead is making you feel isolated and alone. Sometimes they just need to hear that we need them. Hope this helps, sending good vibes and baby dust your way! xo
Most men arent sensitive or like to talk about things like this. He may be stressed to or worried or whatever but he doesn't know how to talk about it with you. Maybe he feels talking about it will make you more upset or make him more upset. If he truly wants a baby as bad as you then its probably killing him inside too. guys just usually dont know how to talk about things like this and most the time dont want to talk about it. I know my husband doesn't say alot about it either. dont be too hard on him or think too much into it. start talking about things that dont involve babies or periods or ovulation. I hope things get better for you guys!