I have to say I was one of those people who asked these unsensitive questions before I started having problems with conception of my own! I thought it was a good starter for small talk...We conceived our first baby effortlessly who is now an amazing 4-year old boy but it has been almost two years since my thoughts have been completely preoccupied with having a second child with no result

I'm Asian, so I get asked that question A LOT. People can be very insensitive in my culture, more so than others (although it could just be the people I am with, who knows). All I say has been "we've been trying. if God willing, maybe this year. if not, then i guess it's not meant to be". They usually just nod and stops there. If I'm lucky, they will say things like, 'I'll keep you in my prayers'. I'm not a religious person, but those words usually work for me :)

I’ve been saying “oh it’ll happen when it happens” and people usually don’t push much more than that.

When I get asked if I have children I say, “No, but we’ve tried everything we could to have one.” This was the suggestion of my therapist. Because just saying no, people can then say something even more stupid like, well what are you waiting for?
So stop them in their tracks and the response will usually remind them to be sensitive next time they ask that question.

My husband and I have been married about a year and a half and we always say " Whenever God wants or it is in God's hands"

it is a hard question and even more on some days. I usually say “we are trying but it has not happened yet”. Then usually the person wishes me luck, prays for me. I dont like much the answer “dont stress about it”. But i move on :)

sometimes people ask me that point blank and I panic. Sometimes I brush it off but if it’s a good friend I know they love me so I feel obligated to answer their question and I fumble through a complicated and clumsy response. I walk away upset and drained because I feel I shared too much of myself and they still don’t understand because it’s just complicated. I need a few good lines too because I DONT owe anyone a deep explanation but I still want to be respectful of people who ask.

I usually ask: Do you want to help me?

Before you say the first thing that comes to mind, look at who has the nerve to ask. Is it a close friend? A family member? Your husband? Your nemesis from college who always has to one-up you? Or is it just some random clueless person trying to make casual conversation and didn’t get the memo yet that pregnancy questions shouldn’t be on the list. Also ask yourself what their motivation is? Even though there are times the question feels intrusive and even downright mean, most people don’t have nefarious motives. Determining who is asking and why will help you figure out what to say. My point is, you don’t owe anybody anything: not deep, introspective soliloquies on the state of your womb, nor the whole truth, which they probably couldn’t handle anyway. Come up with a few good lines that will keep everyone happy: “When it happens, it happens!” / “That’s a great question!” / “I’m not sure. How’s your baby?”