I'm in the same boat. I'm 32 and my husband and I have been trying to conceive for 7 months. I didn't expect it to be so hard and each month feels more deflating than the previous. A friend told me not to plan during the waiting periods - once you're pregnant you'll have 9 months to plan the baby's name and room decor and pick a stroller and to imagine what they'll look like and be like. Last month I really tried to push everything out of my mind and really focus on work and spending time to friends and family. I was doing a pretty good job and then I was 3 days late and thought we had finally succeeded and I gave in to the planning and hoping and it all came crashing down when I started spotting. It was heartbreaking.

I hate when people tell me "you just have to stop thinking about it and be patient - it'll happen when it's supposed to happen". That's not helpful and totally invalidates my feelings. So I'm here to tell you that being in this boat is awful and you have every right to feel depressed. What I try to do is plan things I know I normally enjoy doing and really focus on making the most of each week. I don't want to look back at all the months I spent wallowing and wish I had done more with the luxury of time when I actually had it, you know?

I don't think too many things in life really compare (emotionally) with the ups and downs of TTC. The first weeks are full of possibility, hope, positivity, etc. Then the second two of anxiety, stress, waiting, and finally the devastating day you realize you are again, not pregnant. I think it really takes a toll. And the cycle just repeats every month. It is so so hard to not just fall apart. If it is any consolation, it took us 11 months to conceive our daughter. Now we are 6 months in trying for #2. And each month I get more depressed. All our friends are already on baby 2 or 3 and have no issues getting pregnant. I feel like I cantvrealaye or really talk to them. They all just say relax and keep trying as well. It is very frustrating. What I do find helpful is knowing I'm going just about everything in my power. We do the OPKs, eat healthy, excercise, take multivitamins, and so on. I constantly have to remind myself there is only so much you can do.

I understand your feelings, I feel the same exact thing. We have been trying for almost nine months, last month I had my first IUI and it was negative. I will resume the fertility drugs this month and have another IUI. It is hard to deal with it, some days I just want to stay inside the house all day and not talk to anybody. Some days are worst than others; but I am trying to find things that interest me in order to have my mind occupied.

I am the type of person that needs to be focused on something like reading, or learning something because if my brain is not focused I tend to fill it with negative thoughts about my infertility. I like photography and I just recently found a couple of events or subjects where I can take lots of pictures, I know this will keep me focused at least for a while.

Try something that you enjoyed doing in the past maybe when you were a kid or maybe go back to that project you once started and never finished because you didn't have time.

sometimes people don't understand what you are going through and they don't know what to say, many people have told me that it will happen when I don't think about it...easy to say....tell them that you prefer not to talk about it or just ask them to please don't tell you that, I assure you they will understand and respect your request.

I hope you feel a little better now...

*HUG* I struggle with the same. My husband and I tried for a year and a half on our own, experienced medical issues that resulted in surgery (massive fibroid) and in May turned to a RE and fertility treatment to try to start our family. I just had an IUI this morning so I am feeling so many emotions at once and know I need to keep myself focused over the next two weeks. Family and friends who have not experienced this do not understand. They try, absolutely, but sometimes they say things that they do not realize actually make it worse (just relax, it will happen when it's suppose to, etc). It doesn't help that my husband and I are 32 and ALL our friends and cousins have either 1 or 2 babies already, my cousin has four beautiful girls! I want to be happy for them, but at times I find myself secretly jealous.
Focus, prayer, and just allowing myself to feel whatever emotion I feel without judging myself helps.

Do you mind me asking if you have spoken to your doctor about fertility options yet or been tested to see if you and your husband can conceive? I feel your pain. I am 32 years old and have been married to my wonderful husband for 3 years now. We planned on trying to start a family 1 year after marriage but my father fell ill and I spent 2 years taking care of him and my mother. During that time my husband was also laid off so I was working full time running my own business and taking care of my parents. Now it's 2 years later and my husband still isn't working and my father passed away. My life has been very stressful over the past 2 years so my husband and I didn't even consider trying as the timing wasn't right.

Now things are slightly less stressful and given my age we decided to start trying. I went off birth control 10 months ago and we have been trying for 8 months now without any success. In that time frame a number of my close friends have gotten married and pregnant right away! In fact 5 of my close friends got pregnant on their honeymoon on the first try and I find it VERY hard to be happy for them I am just filled with jealousy.

I have been tracking my ovulation very closely and we have been having sex every 2 days pretty much all month long to make sure we don't miss ovulation. Sex is no longer fun and every month my period comes exactly on time and with a force!

We both don't drink or smoke and are health and fit. I just started my period today and plan to go visit my doctor this week to have both myself and my husband tested to see if anything is wrong.

I am crossing my fingers we can get pregnant naturally and don't need to explore IVF. Has anyone spoken to a fertility doctor and gotten any useful information?

I'm also feeling depressed and sad and jealous and feeling a TON of regret that my husband and I didn't start trying 2 years ago before my dad passed. I never expected that it would be this hard for us to get pregnant and now it seems like waiting was the biggest regret of my life.

I was always told don't try until you're ready because it could take 1 try or it could take many. I guess I just expected we would have luck within a few months...seems that is not the case. I cannot handle 1 more pregnancy announcement on Facebook, :(

Hi,
My husband and I have been TTC for 15 months now. I recently had an IUI and am currently at the beginning of the two week wait. I've had several tests done and now have answers. I highly recommend seeing a fertility specialist if you can. I wish I had sooner. Also see if you can have a hsg to make sure tubes are cleared and flowing well. I wasted 10 of those 15 months not knowing I had endometriosis which blocked my tubes.

I don't get on Facebook anymore because I can't handle pregnancy announcements. This is a very tough time because you are grieving each month. There are blogs out there that are very inspirational that have helped me cope: Waiting for Baby Bird and Unpregnant Chicken.