I'm 28 years old, I know still young, but sometimes I wonder if I would still have had troubles TTC when I was 24. I've been married to my husband for about 2 years and decided about a year ago to try to have kids. We wanted to wait a little longer, enjoy being just the two of us and get a little more finincially stable, but my baby fever kicked in hard and my husband agreed that maybe it was time. I had my IUD taked out and since then had irregular periods. I went to one OBGYN one for a regular pap and two see why I am having such irregular periods. My pap came back normal and all the doctor could say was it takes sometime for my body to reset. This was 6 month after having my IUD removed. I felt there was something more. My regular OBGYN just told me to be patient, but I knew in my gut there was something more. I went to a different OBGYN and shared my concerns, she said the same thing as my old doctor did, but after bagging to do more testing she gave in. They took a blood test and found my prolactin levels were high, so now have to go through some more tests to find the root cause of high prolactin levels. It's crazy how much fighting I had to do just to get a doctor to at least take a blood test and look a little deeper and reassures me to trust my gut.
The stre ss of TTC and medical issues is something I can handle, but feeling alone in the process is something I am not. My husband is wonderful, don't get me wrong, but I just don't think he fully understands whats stressing me out or why. I grew up in a wonderful family, we were all there for each other, supported eachother in whatever way we could, but we also knew not to bud into each others lives. We gave each other advice when asked, but only when asked. We never gave our suggestions or opinions unless asked, we respected each others personal lives. My siblings and I may be stubborn, and don't care for other people telling us what to do with our lives. So with that my husband's family is not that way. I get their advice and "budding in" comes from love, but it gets annoying. Everytime we go to a family get together on his side I always get asked that one annoying question "when are you having kids". It takes all my strength not to yell at them. I have asked them politely that I do not appreciate that question, but it still gets asked all the time. It also is hard to go to husband's family get together when is brother and his wife are expecting a baby. His brother and his wife are about 10 years apart too, very young. So with my husband being 32 his family I guess expects him to have like 5 kids by now. No we are not going to have 5 kids, 2 at the most, but his mother keeps trying to convince us to have like 3 kids. Again my frustrations with people trying to bud into my marriage and personal life. I did try to forget everything and try to get to know my in laws a little better. I invited my mother in law out for lunch, just the two of us. Trying to get to know her more and her get to know me. She brought up the subject of kids, talked about her youngest son and his wife having a baby, which I know is an exciting time and I'm fine talking about it. Then she made the one comment that rubbed me the wrong way "I can't wait till you have kids". So once again took a deep breath, calmed myself down and tried to find the nice polite way of sharing why I don't like those types of comments or questions. I had explained to her that we have been trying, but it may take time. I didn't tell her the medical side, and I'm glad I didn't. She suggested becoming a foster or adoptive parent. My mother-in-law and her husband (my husband's step father) are foster parents. They are great foster parents, but again don't like when people give me advice without me asking for it. My husband and I have talked about if we can't concieve on our own the other options: foster, adoption, surrogate, etc. We felt that it wasn't for us, but will address it again if having our own child is impossible. Later I found out my mother-in-law shared my strugglees of TTC to a few other people in the family, which made me just want to stop talking to her all together.
I know this is a rather long post. I feel like I can't really talk to anyone else that understands. I talk to my mom and bless her heart I know she is trying to be there for me and trying to understand, but she never had any issues concieving any of us 3 kids. It's been difficult trying to fully say what I want to say and have someone understand. I found this group and read several posts and felt like this is the group for me. So many people that seem to be going through the same thing I am and maybe someone would understand me and be ok with my "rant".