Trying To Conceive Support Group

Whether you are just beginning your journey to create your family, or you have been trying for a few months, the TTC community will provide you with a group of like minded people who can help. It takes up to a year for the average fertile couple to achieve a successful pregnancy, and here at DailyStrength you will find information and support while you are waiting for...

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Filled with Regret and Frustration

Isabel
Isabel

Hi, everyone. I got married early last year but my husband and i didn't really start trying to have a baby until early this year.


We both waited until we got married to have sex so our 1st yr was more of figuring things out. That's coupled with the fact that my husband was studying then for a licensure exam. That was our 1st yr of marriage. I was okay with that plan of holding off trying to have a baby for a year so we can spend time together and for my husband to focus on his career 1st.


However, as we started trying this yr with still no positive result, I've started to regret our decision of putting it off for a year. My head is filled with "what ifs" and that we should've have started trying once we got married had i known that it wouldn't be easy.


I bought different kinds of ovulation kits because i wanted to be sure but my OB recommended Clearblue so I bought 4 kits.


I am so frustrated and i cry almost every month when i get my period. I don't really have anyone to talk to because i don't want them to feel bad for me. I feel sad for myself when i see people getting pregnant ahead of me. People tell me to relax and not to pressure myself but how exactly do i do that?


I have also blocked people who always ask me if i'm pregnant or always comment that "maybe i am pregnant" just because i gained weight (I resigned from work early this year and have not much to do). Sometimes i think whether i'm overreacting but i really feel like whether i'm pregnant or not is none of their business. Also, i don't think these people are really concerned about me. O think that they just really have nothing else to say. However, they might think i'm too sensitive about the issue and they might pity me and that makes me sad.


I've recently gone to my OB for ultrasound and she said that i am healthy but the Clearblue kit doesn't work for me so we've probably been having sex at the wrong times. I am so sad and frustrated because i feel like i'm not doing anything right.


So this is my story. I just wanted to let it out.

TTHA
TTHA
I completely understand! Take a deep breathe & relax ! I've learned that if your stressed or trying too hard to conceive it will not happen. Also , if you have regular periods you should wait 10 days after your last day of your period without having sex & without masturbation with you & your husband. I also read that when your losing weight it's easier to get pregnant (I'm not so sure how true but I watched a YouTube channel & it worked for her). You should also try to get your body ready for ovulation by getting your prenatal vitamins , get healthy , & drink plenty of water. Maybe your not testing your ovulation at the right time. You should pick a month & just learn your body within that month & take ovulation test. That way the next month you'll know exactly what to do then you would be able to conceive you alls first child! Stay positive! It will happen when you least expect it! I hope everything works out for you & you get your positive pregnancy test very soon!!!
ttcnumber2
ttcnumber2
I know exactly what you mean. We waited two years to start trying and every month we didn't concieve I was filled with regret and frustration for not trying sooner. But, amazingly, after 11 months I got pregnant. And now looking back I was glad we waited. We got to do so much traveling and growing as a couple. Our relationship was in a very solid place when our daughter arrived. Now we are trying for number 2 (6 months in with no success). When I start to get those feelings again I just try to remember everything has a way of working itself out and coming in time (soooo much easier said than done, I know). I'm glad you joined this group though. I felt so alone the first time around and couldn't talk to anyone, even family, about it. Baby dust and best of luck! Hugs!
Isabel
Isabel
Thank you for your responses!

I feel a little better being part of this group. I turn to this when i'm feeling down and have no one to talk to among my friends who completely understands my situation and feelings.

Recently, a couple of my friends got married and they're trying to conceive right away unlike me who waited for a year. They're very vocal about it and everyone's cheering them on. And now i feel more pressured.

Honestly, I don't know how to react when TTC or pregnancy is the topic. I am genuinely happy for then but at the same time I am also sad.
ttcnumber2
ttcnumber2
Yes, I find reactions to pregnancy news are always mixed for me as well. I am happy for them but it is a reminder that I am NOT pregnant. The first time was the roughest for me. We lived on a street where we were dead last to get pregnant and the questions about TTC came from neighbors almost daily. I kept our struggles to myself and it was so hard. This time I'm trying a different approach. I'm honest. I say we've been trying for 7 months. I feel like the response from others is way better and usually no one asks me about it a second time (which I greatly appreciate). Not sure if any of this helps at all but just sharing in case :)