LittleMy,

As a guy, it is very interesting to me to hear your story. I am sorry for the emotions you are going through. My wife and I have been trying for about 11 months now and it does not get any easier. I can understand why he would want to leave it to fate. Maybe he knows how stressful it can get or maybe he doesn't want to plan it out.

It does sound like you may have to find way to cope with the depression. Remember depression is common but properly diagnosing yourself is key. You need to find ways to alleviate stresses out of your life. Don't put the pressure on so much on yourself or your husband. There are ways you can still "leave it up to fate" but also assist in the matter. Example: plan a trip around the time of your ovulation (if possible). Or have a drink randomly during the week and watch a movie that has a lot of steamy scenes? Whatever you think would work. If you have constant fears he will be a good dad, then maybe don't rush things. Once you are a mom you can't go back. Be sure about that for sure.

Again, I'm sorry you are going through these emotions. I'll pray for you.

I am sorry, dear. But, at 37, you shouldn't leave it to fate. There are medical facts and figures that show that after 34, your fertility declines. I had the same ambivalence from my husband 4 years ago. Well, now I am 39 and we're ready, but my doc says I am almost out of eggs. So, several several several thousands of dollars later, and I am STILL NOT pregnant. I am kicking myself as to why I didn't try earlier. He's kicking himself too, lol. Ok, enough of my rant. It seems like you both need to talk and ensure you're both REALLY ready and comfy to start trying seriously. Also, I think its good to see your doc and get a list of tests to see how your hormones, or even your egg reserves are. I think all women should do this, just in case. Once you are clear on that, then get some advice from your doc on what to do to improve your chances, maybe even get a prescription for something? Get him checked out too? Sorry if I am being pushy or if I see harsh, but after my experience, I think you should try to use every precious month that you can. And ask yourself, what will you do if he says he definitely doesn't want kids? If you agree, will you regret it 10 years from now?

Thank you both. Really helpful to hear, and it helps to be able to talk about it!

Hi I may not be the same age I'm 23 but I truly know what you mean my fiance says leave it to fate or it will happen if god plans it I get so up set because all of my sisters have babies and my friends to and I look at myself and think what could be wrong with me I was one the depot shot but I only took the shot once and since then I've had complications I've even had doctors tell me it's not in my best interest to have a baby since I've had surgery after surgery but one day I'll be a mother just like you will and I hope one day is soon for you I don't wish this on anyone

I am sorry to read your story. You should also be aware that older a woman gets, the more her ovarian reserve declines. So you might face a situation somewhere in future that you can get pregnant only via IVF PGS NGS, with donor eggs or surrogacy.

We're all here for one another, as we all have the same 'wants' :) I hope you can find people that you will be able to talk to and don't bottle it inside. I'm 36 and trying to conceive as well. And just like you too, we didn't want to start a family in the beginning because we felt like we couldn't provide for the baby (financially). True enough, we moved from one place to another for over 10 years, it was not an ideal environment to have a baby at all. I don't regret our decision because we know what is best for the little one. I don't believe in being too old to be a mother. If that's what you really want, keep trying and don't give up. Also, did you watch the episode of Adam Ruins Everything where they discuss about having a child after 35? Look it up :)