Trying To Conceive Support Group

Whether you are just beginning your journey to create your family, or you have been trying for a few months, the TTC community will provide you with a group of like minded people who can help. It takes up to a year for the average fertile couple to achieve a successful pregnancy, and here at DailyStrength you will find information and support while you are waiting for...

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/ Trying To Conceive Support Group

DH can't complete the task

Cooper13
Cooper13

Just joined.  Husband and I have been trying for baby #2 since Jan.  We've had 3 failed IUIs and are now just trying on our own until our next appt with our Dr.  Im currently ovulating.  Im tracking my temp, doing OPKs daily and its go time.  I dont know if its his age (43) or what, but DH can't complete the task.  He normally can't GO without masturbating usually.  (Sorry for the TMI). . so last night we attempted to baby dance, but he was unable to complete the task.  When Im not ovulating Im pretty understanding about it as its been our sex life forever, but last night I was upset.  Im the one tracking everything, peeing on sticks, etc. . . he has to do one thing and he cant.  Please help me!!


Side note - hes been tested and everything is normal. He isn't on any meds. He does have an Rx for viagra, but that doesn't make him ejaculate necessarily.  I know he is frustated, just as much as I am.  He feels bad and I dont want to finger point, but its so frustrating when you need him to do this one thing during this small window and he cant.  Anyone else in the same boat?

ttcnumber2
ttcnumber2
Hi, I know how you're feeling. We had this very same issue for the first time this month. It's like everything leads up to these very key 24-48 hour periods and when you are so full of hope and eagerness it's this massive blow. I cried. I knew it would mean waiting a whole month to try again. And I never want to make my husband feel terrible or guilty or inadequate so I think keeping it in and being understanding is a billion times harder. I know stress and pressure can be killers but you can't change the situation I feel. So I'm not sure what to do either. Just hoping it's not a repeat next month. Just got my period today so it wasn't a very good day either.
Ralu3737
Ralu3737
The same thing happened to me last month. My husband also has an Rx for viagra (because if some issues I was having), but he usually doesn't have a problem finishing. Last month we tried multiple times 3 days in a row and nothing each time. I felt so frustrated and emotional because I'm the one tracking everything, dealing with aches and pains after having sex so many times in such a short period, and then feeling anxious as we wait each month. Like you said, he only has one job to do. I feel your pain and your frustration and bitterness. It's so hard and I feel so badly when he can read the feelings on my face because I know he wants this as much as I do. I hope this past month isn't an indication of what's to become the norm for us.
Cooper13
Cooper13
Thank you for the replies! Its nice to know we aren't alone in this struggle.
CODreamer
CODreamer
Thank you for posting! Me and my husband deal with this off and on too. I try to be supportive and not get upset but sometimes it is so difficult not to just burst out in tears. He will tell me he "wanted to ejaculate" but just couldn't. TTC is so much more complicated than people portray and this is just part of what could go wrong. It is so stressful. I'm sure your husband feels awful too but I know it is completely awful dealing with a failed attempt when you only have so many chances each month. Hang in there girl!
Jessbren16
Jessbren16
I can so relate. I'm in my late 20's and my husband is in his mid 40's. I do everything. All he has to do is that one thing and simply cant. He doesn't understand how important sexy time is during that short widow. I never want to point the finger but after 6 months of trying I might need to point that out.
JustBeingMe
JustBeingMe
It is good to hear this. I just joined and only realised when reading this info that this issue is a thing and it isnt just me. My husband seems to never be in the mood when im ovulating and when encouraged (or forced) its a poor effort. I love him to bits and I know he's as disappointed as me with TTC. Maybe his mind feels the pressure and it shows in his body. It is heart breaking. Another month is such a long time.
JaqNado13
JaqNado13
My husband and I were having a lot of the same problems. I think the pressure of having to "get it done" during specific times were too much for both of us. We discovered home insemination and now have supplies on hand for when we run into trouble in the bedroom. If anyone is interested here is the system we keep handy: https://www.mosiebaby.com/