Hi Aly, thanks for sharing your story and I am so sorry to hear that this has been such a rocky journey for you.
I can def relate though, my husband and I pulled the goalie in Feb 2011 but it was clear after a couple months of having no cycle that something was off. So I began the blood tests, ultrasounds, diet changes, medication to trigger a period. It was impossible to track if I was ovulating so we just kept add it waiting on Gods timing. Then after 18 months of that I moved on to further testing to determine if my tubes were blocked or if I had a septum. Hubby also got tested. Nothing abnormal could be found and I never thought I would even consider meds but that changed after 2 years of no answers and no baby. So in April I started my first round of clomid, that ended with a chemical pregnancy, round 2 of clomid was a negative and I am in the TWW of the third. Next stop is IUI.
Everyone is different, and everyone's limits are different, you just have to do whats right for you. Its not an easy road and its ok to change your mind a few times.
Its been good for me to seek support on DS, helps me channel my hurt, anger, sadness and jealousy.

I am so sorry for your loss - our stories are very similar. We quit BC about a year before we started TTC, then it took us 13 months to conceive our first. I had pretty bad morning sickness throughout the first trimester, so never thought anything was wrong. We went for our first appt at 11wks 5 days and were told that the fetus had quit developing at 6 wks 5 days. We were shocked. We had to have a D&C the day before Thanksgiving last year. The holidays were horrible, my friends were having their 4th kid, another friend tried one month and got prego right away and never had any troubles.

I've battled so much anger, bitterness, sadness, despair, it's unreal. We are currently pregnant again - it took us 6 months and to be honest I'm SHOCKED that it happened that quickly because it took 13 months the first try. But my point is, it's not impossible.

Something else to think about, if you got pregnant the first time, then something must be working right - there just might be some issues that need tweaking. You don't necessarily have to jump to IUI or IVF.

I had some ovulation issues in the beginning and a single round of Clomid seemed to jumpstart it. You might need to try it for a couple more months, or something similar to it. My hubby and I also used some sperm enhancing drugs to help because he tested with a motitily problem.

My suggestion to you is to talk to your doc, have your hubby do a sperm analysis (they are about $80-100). Also, try doing some ovulation predictors (maybe for the first couple of months spend the money on the good clear blue easy ones, they are easier to read). Sometimes it's a simple timing issue and you aren't playing BINGO at the right time. You can also get some "preseed" lubricant, it's the only lube on the market that is ok to use while TTC - so that if your CM isn't luby enough then you can create a better swimming environment.

And then there's the other tricks of elevating your hips for 30 minutes post BINGO, some women even buy a diaphragm to put in so that the swimmers are corraled and only have one direction to swim.

I'm willing to talk more if you want, you are welcome to message me if you like. This can be a long hard road. Don't be afraid to visit the miscarriage board either, there are some great women on there.

First off thank you so much ladies, for reading and taking the time to reply. It lifted my spirits so much to see something in response so quickly.

Cali, what you're going through sounds very close to what someone close to me is going through, she read your response with me and is now planning to join DS. Thank you so much for sharing.

Poly, we have had very similar experiences. I am SO very happy to hear you're pregnant again and I will be sure to add you to my prayers and wish you all the best.

I haven't asked my husband to get tested yet but he has been open to trying it, so I guess that would be a good next step. We are struggling somewhat financially so we have been careful as to where we go. I have had the tests to make sure I wasn't blocked down there, actually it was the month before I found out I was pregnant the first time.

Currently I am trying an ovulation predictor, this is only the second month so I have high hopes for it. I haven't given clomid or any other drugs a chance, because my husband and I were very sure we didn't want to go that route just yet but it could most definitely be down the line someday if this doesn't work.

I had never heard of the preseed lubricant, we hadn't been using any. But that definitely will be on our list.

As far as my miscarriage goes, it's still a tender subject but I have gotten to a sound place as far as accepting it. I'm definitely going to join the miscarriage board to see if I can help anyone else out. We lost our baby in May of 2012, and then I had a positive pregnancy test in August of 2012, but never got to get to a doc before I started. To this day I don't know if that was a false positive or an early miscarriage. I choose to believe it was a false positive but the not knowing bothers me.

I went to my yearly in Feb of this year and everything checked out. I think that a lot of it having been over a year and I'm still not pregnant is not only me looking out for it so hard, but stress from day to day life. Thank you ladies, you've helped me out so much already :)

I understand the finances part - we weren't in a position to do much more than try some supplements and continue to try naturally. As it is, I don't know if I'll be done paying for the D&C before we have delivery bills, but who knows.

But I figure for about $100 you can see what is going on with your hubby's swimmers and either eliminate half your questions or finally get some answers. I know of ppl who were convinced that they were dealing with female problems when all along there were male problems too. And believe it or not there are supplements that aren't too pricey that seem to work to improve sperm. A gal on the infertility board had posted her husbands before and after test results a few months ago. He had poor numbers, took a supplement for 3 months and all his numbers improved.

And I know of ladies who have thought they ovulated at one time so they made sure to play BINGO then but did their ovulation kits and realized they were a few days off and really messed up their chances.

Other little bits of info that you may or may not know - don't play BINGO more than once every 24 hours during your "prime fertile" time, but also make sure to play BINGO at least every 3 days. It takes at least 24 hours to finish developing a new batch of sperm, but after 3 days they start to disinegrate. It takes 3 months for sperm to completely develop so a playdate in the hot tub can mess things up for a while. Hot baths/showers can affect sperm quality, too much alchohol, tobacco, lack of exercise, processed foods, etc.

There's a website http://www.early-pregnancy-tests.com/softcup.html that sells those diaphragm type softcups (theres are actually for using during AF, instead of tampons/pads) but like I said you can use them for after BINGO - they also sell the pre-seed lubricant, amongst other fertility aids/supplements. I have also seen the pre-seed at Walmart and maybe Target.

I won't take up much more of your time :) I tend to get too chatty, but if you are ever interested in more supplements (vitamins/amino acids), let me know, I've done TONS of reading. I don't have as much info on female products, but I do have some. And I just wanted to say - that I miss your neck of the woods. I lived in the Bryan/College Station area for a few years after college, LOVED IT!!!!

I defintely want to try and see what's going on down stairs for my hubby, he asked about it before but we never followed through, so maybe it's about time to get him in there.

We are definitely going to do the ovulation kit and the preseed and give it a few months, I gave myself a six month window until I try another new step so we'll see what comes about from it all.

The stuff about the little swimmers is really interesting. I definitely need to convey some of that stuff to hubby, because he had it in his mind a very different way lol.

I don't mind the chatty at all, that's why I joined up on DS, I needed people who wouldn't mind talking about it, a lot of the people around here have sort of gotten over discussing what's on my mind. I have some family that's not too far from Bryan, in Madisonville, and we really liked it up there. Never really been anywhere but Texas before :)

For some ppl, they don't need to know all the nitty gritty details, they look at each other long enough and BAM the woman is prego. Unfortunately, others, like us, have to research, monitor, track, obsess, etc, etc and still not have much luck. And something as simple as playing BINGO too often can screw it up for us. BLAH!!!!

I think you are on the right track with the OPK's, pre-seed and the semen analysis, and having the patience to give it another 6 months. It sucks but sometimes it takes a little longer than you'd like.

I grew up in CA, had never really been out of it either, but decided I wanted to live somewhere else - so I moved to TX. Brought my horse, goat, dog & cat. We loved it. Then met a man in SD and moved up North, but still miss TX!!!!!!

I just had a conversation with a friend of mine that went along those lines. I told her that to many people it seems like they just randomly get pregnant but that's not the case. People who aren't in our situation don't look at every time they play bingo and don't get pregnant, they look at the one time they did. While we are playing bingo and getting ready to yell it out every time we try to find out, so we are counting every time we DON'T get pregnant. It's all a mind set thing.

Last night I had a discussion with my husband about joining this site and showed him the ovulation predictor I had on my phone, showing how I logged my start and end dates and every time we played bingo, and told him about some of the stuff you suggested. It seemed to really depress him, especially when I reminded him what he said about getting his lil guys tested.

He's asked me before when do we stop trying and start trying to look into adoption since we decided that IUI and IVF is not for us. I told him we don't stop trying but maybe wait until a little further down the line to look into adoption. I'm open to it, I just don't think we have to go that route right this second. I mean he's about to be 26 and I won't be until January. It's not like we're too late.

I did set a goal on here, giving myself a six month window, to see if these new changes will help. I don't know when we will be able to get his swimmers tested but I for one have a new outlook on it, I just need to find a way to renew his outlook too.


I ABSOLUTELY love horses, but it's been a long time since we had any. Right now my hubby and I have a kitty and a pit bull but we definitely aren't ready for any bigger animals.

I'm sorry to see you are having so many problems. My husband and I have been trying for almost 2 years and have had no luck at all. I have started a natural supplement to see if that will jump start anything. We have also talked about getting him tested to see if that will give us any answers. He has mentioned adoption a few times saying that we can look in to that but I'm just not ready to give up yet. I want the chance to experience pregnancy and all the pains and joys that come with it. That is all I have wanted for so long. We did decide that if we can't have a baby that we will not do IUI or IVF, we will just go to adoption. I just hope that we can have our own child.

I hope that you get good news soon, Good luck!

SH30, you sound like you're on the same path DH and I are on. We know for sure that we don't want to do IVF or IUI, it's just not the right path for us.

I'll tell you what I was looking for on here: don't let anyone pressure you or give you negative feelings toward that decision. Everywhere around me I had people telling me that I just needed to go a little further medically when all I wanted was someone to praise the fact that we were doing everything naturally.

DH has been enthusiastic about adoption too but I know that I am not in a position to give up. I believe we will know when it's time to let go and let God.

Don't give up! Prayers to you.

First of all, I'm sorry for your loss.. :( I (luckily) never had to experience a miscarriage, but did have to endure 2.5 years of trying. I definitely respect your decision to only stick to the natural route. We did all the tests possible (on my husband and myself) and everything was fine. So fine I was never even given fertility drugs like clomid or so. The doctor gave my husband some clomid "to help' and some other supplements, but nothing was really wrong. We did try IUI and IVF a couple times each, and they didn't work. So if you think a negative after a regular cycle is hard to take, try getting a negative (or an "inconclusive" as it was my case) after cycles of IVF (which involve hundreds of shots and all kinds of invasive procedures.. ).. It was awful! Between all that, and our move to Germany earlier this year, I pretty much lost hope (but didn't stop trying). One day I found my husbands clomid jar.. He had about 8 left, and since he was not taking them anymore, I automedicated myself.. (nothing to lose in my mind). Well, that month I got pregnant.. I am now 17 weeks pregnant and I look forward to every doctor visit to confirm my pregnancy because I still can't believe a baby is growing inside me (I still can't feel him/her kicking). So my point is: there is no sure way to get to your goal (we all wished there were) so pick your route and follow it.. Change according to your gut feelings, and be patient (I know.. not easy.. I know.. I know.. I know).. I'm glad you realize you are young.. I didn't have that going for me (I'm already 36, so every month just put me further from my goal in every way.. Adoption after a certain age is also more difficult.. I did my research). Try everything that Poly suggested, you lose nothing and something in that huge list may help. I also tried herbal supplements, organic milk (going fully organic is crazy expensive), no longer use the microwave, gave up caffeine, etc. (hehe.. I sound like a crazy person, but I was willing to try anything) I also know someone here in DS who tried acupuncture and worked (that was my next step) so if that's something you are willing and able to try, go for it! Pray and don't lose your faith..

Best of luck and keep us posted!

That's an incredibly uplifting story, Liza, and I'm happy to hear that things finally worked out for you in the end. I just know that things will work out how you wanted them to.

I go through these stages were I'm at my lowest low and then other days I'm filled with hope. It's hard to stay at one opinion about it.

Like today my husband told me we were going to be attending an event with a not so close (anymore) friend of ours who is 20 weeks pregnant with her 4th child. I'm hurt and livid. Even thought it's been over a year since my miscarriage, I don't want to put myself around someone who has an over abundance of children when I lost my only one. It makes me feel like a failure because I feel like he's using other people's children to live vicariously as he wants.

So right now I'm not feeling that hope but I know that it will come back to me. I guess that's the difference between hope and faith.