Today was a very frustrating day for me!!!! All i keep thinking about is, when is it going to be my turn? When will i get blessed with my miracle? Why is this happening to me? Why cant my body just be normal? Why is it when you want something so bad, that you cant have it? So many questions running threw my scattered brain that i cant even answer. Sometimes i wonder if it is ever going to happen, if im waisting my time on wanting to concieve so bad. Every time i see one of my friends there always talking about there kid or kids, and i have nothing to say. i cant join into the conversation. i feel like a third wheel!!! i know i just need not to give up or stop stressing about it. but honestly it is alot easier said then done. i get to the point where im tired of taking meds just to have AF come around. or keeping track of my temp everyday so i can figure out when im ovulating. Every month for almost two years now i take more then one pg test just to see if it is my time, all cuz i get pregnacy symptoms. It irritaes me more then anything when i sit and watch the test turn straight to a negative. i shake it every time just to see if it will change, i feel like its a etch scetch and im trying to change the drawing i made. at times i want to cry my eyes out because i know not its not only me that is getting hurt but my fiance too! about a year ago i made this dog tag for him that says "im going to be a daddy" he still to this day has no clue what it says just that when the time is right ill give it to him. and i already have the way ill give it to him and everything. im going to have string attached to his finger leading to a ceartin spot in the house, and in the middle is going to be the positive test with a note that says keep following the string, then at the end is going to be me and the dog tag!! but for some reason i feel like its never going to happen. ill never have that pregnacy glow. im so sorry this is so long but i just needed to get it off of my chest, but what i really want to do is open my door and start screaming outside as loud as i can. all that im asking is god please give me and all of these lovely girls in my support group our time to shine. give us our miracle, please god. i want to be a mom so bad that it kills. im going to call my docotor to set up my yearly and i pray that he says to me, jessica congradulations hunny your pregnate!! i want that so bad. thankyou to all you that have been so supportive to me, you all mean so much to me and your in my prayers as well. baby dust to all of you and i hope your time is now!!