Trichotillomania (Hair Pulling) Support Group

Impulsive control disorder is the inability to resist an urge, temptation, or impulse, even when it may cause negative effects to the self or to others. If you or a loved one suffers from impulsive contorl disorder, join the community to find support and share your challenges with others who know what you're going through.

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getbacktoserenity 07/02/2017

I think this is a very important factor of any impulse control disorder. What happens if you pull away from any particular moment of great urge and temptation?

I have been trying to explore this aspect recently. It's been difficult to tug myself out of the strong need to self harm, but when I do...it is only if I insist that I am doing it for my well being. I have to talk myself out of the desire and rationalize with my own self. Other times it consumes my mind the entire day. This is if I forcefully force myself to stop. If I am somehow able to rationalize the compulsion, I feel more confident and at peace with the decision.

That itch to act on the impulse can remain...and sometimes I wonder what is worse... carrying out the act or suffering with the OCD mindset about wanting to carry out the act at a later time.

It seems to be a lose-lose situation as the mind plays tricks. That unnerving feeling is extremely distressing. I wonder what I can substitute in its place to get a similar sort of "high" and release. I just wish that I could direct this at something else aside from my body.

When I abstain for a long time, the urge can build up and come out in my behavior. Through irritation, anger, etc. I'm also wondering if body focused repetitive behaviors are in some way the mind's way of preventing full blown dissociative disorder. By having a focus to dissociate on during the repetative act, the mind doesn't have to go further since it's anchored in this particular behavior. It might be how the mind grounds itself and controls the dissociation stages. It's a theory I've thought of through observing myself, yet in order to test it out I have to forcefully will myself to stop each impulse for an extended period of time. This has proved to be a bit of a challenge. I'm just wondering if I might start dissociating in other ways or if my mind will come up with a new OCD ( since I'm prone to it ) as a substitute for the body focused repetitive behavior.

I just feel that this behavior is acting as a distraction for the mind. The mind is trying to somehow preserve itself. An escape from the subconscious.

Please share your views!

Shelly_24 07/08/2017

Interesting observation. I think that it's possible that mind will find new ways of defense mechanism out of inability to cope with certain feelings.. Anxiety, depression, stress.. I began having trichotillomania when feelings of anxiety, stress and helplessness became overwhelming and my mind just couldn't cope with all those feelings so it kind of broke into this habit.. And since then everytime I'm feeling a bit stressed or I'm feeling anxiety, trichotillomania appears.. Maybe if I don't repress those feelings and try to resist to pull, and find healthier ways of dealing with stress, then maybe mind wouldn't have to come up with new OCD or something like that. I'm not very expressive person, I usually live through anxiety and stress and depression through some kind of calmness, on the outside. But on the inside I feel like everything is boiling up. I wish I could just yell, throw things, be that kind of person which tells everything to someone's face what's bothering her and just resolve problems.. But I just let things flow through me and come to surface in a way of broken inability to cope with feelings. That's just my thoughts about this problem..

getbacktoserenity 07/08/2017

So you tend to internalize instead of externalize problems. Have you had a difficult time dealing with feelings of guilt? Either in childhood or adulthood. Did you ever blame yourself for any outside problems? There is a theory out there that self harm is a form of internalized guilt.

KitCat24 07/16/2017

I feel a lot like this all the time. The more I try not to pull, the more my thoughts are consumed by the desire to do so. The problem for me is that anxiety increases my need to pull, but trying not to pull also increases my anxiety. It's a terrible loop to be stuck in. Really the only things I've found that help are not to have hair where you pull and distract your mind with something else, like work or a project.

Stopblamingme 07/17/2017

In the moment it feels like I have to do it and it is the only way out. But when I redirect myself and look back, I realize it's all in my head. Picking at myself isn't the only way, nor is it a positive way to do anything. Self harm ends in embarrassing regret. However, redirecting ends with a feeling of accomplishment and confidence and zero regret.

Exercising, no caffeine, staying g away from ppl that piss me off, and getting enough sleep are what help prevent or reduce this urge to begin with.

I think it's just something we do when the issue has not been validated, processed, and no brain band aid. Basically, I am saying it's like any other wound that needs to be seen, considered and aided. If nothing is done to heal it, then we keep doing it.

Neigh 07/26/2017

Okay, so maybe it works like this for you to; but every time I break a certain habit I end up creating another one. Hair pulling has been something I've struggled with for a while, and before I started doing that, there were other compulsions that I had to deal with. I feel like maybe these compulsions to do things are just part of my personality, instead of an actual disorder. I think I might just have an addictive personality, I don't know if it's serious enough to be considered OCD or anything, but I definitely get these impulses to do things, like pull out my hair, turn of light switches again and again, pick at my wall, count things in the room. Simple things. I know this sounds like OCD, and maybe I'm just in denial, but I really don't think I have it. Anyway, my point is, whenever I go through a phase of addiction to something, I end up getting addicted something else. So I mean, if you're anything like me then it's entirely possible that you would start doing something else. Have you tried journaling? This has helped me a lot with dealing with emotions that get over control and my impulses. Or maybe if you feel the impulse just close your eyes and count to ten, sometimes this helps me.

getbacktoserenity 07/30/2017

Stopblaming....I think you have a good shot of getting over this affliction for good. It seems you aren't tormented by the strong urge to act upon the impulse when you initially resist it. That shows you have excellent self control. And the fact that it increases your self esteem when you abstain from the urges is another great sign. My self esteem is not affected if I resist, my mind gets bombarded by a strong urge until I give in. So either way I feel pretty crappy. What hinders my healing is that obsessive nagging in the back of my mind that tells me to act upon the urge. The constant battle with myself puts a lot of strain on my emotional well being. I guess some of us are emotionally stronger when it comes to this pattern of behavior.

Neigh...I can relate to you. I have struggled with various forms of ocd over the years. It was extremely rough during my childhood years, begging at the age of 8. The OCD began to weaken and dissipate during my high school years. Maybe because around that time I began having problems with impulse control disorders. I have noticed I'm succeptible to these issues, but I would not call myself an addict. It's more of the impulse and self control issue rather than an addiction. When I battled ocd, it would constantly change from one thing to another. So yes my fear is that if I resist the impulses, I might aquire some sort of new problem.

cocopuffstuff 08/05/2017

Do you think a part of your problem could also be ADD? I had a friend who has ADD and OCD with depression and anxiety. Her add definitely made her not be able to control her impulses.
When my trich was worse, I felt the same way you did. I felt completely out of control with no ability to stop. I think what helped was realizing what triggered my pulling which in my case was anxiety which was triggered by a myriad of other problems. Once I started dealing with those it helped. When I notice pulling urges I try to step back and check how I'm feeling and what I had been feeling that day and the past week. And what I could do to calm myself down.

cocopuffstuff 08/05/2017

Also to answer the title: when I resist the urge I feel like I have an itch that I haven't scratched. But that fades away slowly. Sometimes when I make the decision not to pull I feel a little triumphant that I chose that and I could choose to do that in that particular moment.

getbacktoserenity 08/05/2017

Yeah, it feels like an itch which needs to be scratched. Not sure about the ADD, never been diagnosed with it, but interesting that you bring it up. ADD or maybe ADHD? I always confuse those two. Not exactly sure what the difference is either.
The key to impulse control disorders is as you say, having to constantly check on how we are feeling and what is causing us to behave in such ways. Being introspective is what helps, but sometimes introspection weighs heavy on my mind. I dont find introspection to be a pleasant concept. I think in my situation it has to do with CPTSD and a lot of repression and internalization during childhood. The subconscious part of the mind starts to take control, and then its quite difficult to make sense of feelings and emotions.

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