Trichotillomania (Hair Pulling) Support Group

Impulsive control disorder is the inability to resist an urge, temptation, or impulse, even when it may cause negative effects to the self or to others. If you or a loved one suffers from impulsive contorl disorder, join the community to find support and share your challenges with others who know what you're going through.

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What do you feel when you resist an urge?

I think this is a very important factor of any impulse control disorder. What happens if you pull away from any particular moment of great urge and temptation?


I have been trying to explore this aspect recently. It's been difficult to tug myself out of the strong need to self harm, but when I do...it is only if I insist that I am doing it for my well being. I have to talk myself out of the desire and rationalize with my own self. Other times it consumes my mind the entire day. This is if I forcefully force myself to stop. If I am somehow able to rationalize the compulsion, I feel more confident and at peace with the decision.


That itch to act on the impulse can remain...and sometimes I wonder what is worse... carrying out the act or suffering with the OCD mindset about wanting to carry out the act at a later time.


It seems to be a lose-lose situation as the mind plays tricks. That unnerving feeling is extremely distressing. I wonder what I can substitute in its place to get a similar sort of "high" and release. I just wish that I could direct this at something else aside from my body.


When I abstain for a long time, the urge can build up and come out in my behavior. Through irritation, anger, etc. I'm also wondering if body focused repetitive behaviors are in some way the mind's way of preventing full blown dissociative disorder. By having a focus to dissociate on during the repetative act, the mind doesn't have to go further since it's anchored in this particular behavior. It might be how the mind grounds itself and controls the dissociation stages. It's a theory I've thought of through observing myself, yet in order to test it out I have to forcefully will myself to stop each impulse for an extended period of time. This has proved to be a bit of a challenge. I'm just wondering if I might start dissociating in other ways or if my mind will come up with a new OCD ( since I'm prone to it ) as a substitute for the body focused repetitive behavior.


I just feel that this behavior is acting as a distraction for the mind. The mind is trying to somehow preserve itself. An escape from the subconscious.


Please share your views!


Replies

Shelly_24
Shelly_24

Interesting observation. I think that it's possible that mind will find new ways of defense mechanism out of inability to cope with certain feelings.. Anxiety, depression, stress.. I began having trichotillomania when feelings of anxiety, stress and helplessness became overwhelming and my mind just couldn't cope with all those feelings so it kind of broke into this habit.. And since then everytime I'm feeling a bit stressed or I'm feeling anxiety, trichotillomania appears.. Maybe if I don't repress those feelings and try to resist to pull, and find healthier ways of dealing with stress, then maybe mind wouldn't have to come up with new OCD or something like that. I'm not very expressive person, I usually live through anxiety and stress and depression through some kind of calmness, on the outside. But on the inside I feel like everything is boiling up. I wish I could just yell, throw things, be that kind of person which tells everything to someone's face what's bothering her and just resolve problems.. But I just let things flow through me and come to surface in a way of broken inability to cope with feelings. That's just my thoughts about this problem..
getbacktoserenity
getbacktoserenity

So you tend to internalize instead of externalize problems. Have you had a difficult time dealing with feelings of guilt? Either in childhood or adulthood. Did you ever blame yourself for any outside problems? There is a theory out there that self harm is a form of internalized guilt.
KitCat24
KitCat24

I feel a lot like this all the time. The more I try not to pull, the more my thoughts are consumed by the desire to do so. The problem for me is that anxiety increases my need to pull, but trying not to pull also increases my anxiety. It's a terrible loop to be stuck in. Really the only things I've found that help are not to have hair where you pull and distract your mind with something else, like work or a project.
Stopblamingme
Stopblamingme

In the moment it feels like I have to do it and it is the only way out. But when I redirect myself and look back, I realize it's all in my head. Picking at myself isn't the only way, nor is it a positive way to do anything. Self harm ends in embarrassing regret. However, redirecting ends with a feeling of accomplishment and confidence and zero regret.

Exercising, no caffeine, staying g away from ppl that piss me off, and getting enough sleep are what help prevent or reduce this urge to begin with.

I think it's just something we do when the issue has not been validated, processed, and no brain band aid. Basically, I am saying it's like any other wound that needs to be seen, considered and aided. If nothing is done to heal it, then we keep doing it.
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