Trichotillomania (Hair Pulling) Support Group
Impulsive control disorder is the inability to resist an urge, temptation, or impulse, even when it may cause negative effects to the self or to others. If you or a loved one suffers from impulsive contorl disorder, join the community to find support and share your challenges with others who know what you're going through.
I posted something a while ago about how I was dumped by a guy who I had fallen really hard for, and how I was using that as my motivation to stop pulling.
it was a really long post but if you want to refresh your memory here's the link :)
http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Trichotillomania_Hair_Pulling/forum/8453356-my-motivation-helping-me
and even though I'm not terribly religious, I told God I would stop pulling my eyebrows if he would bring my guy back to me.
Well for a while I was doing really really well! one of my eyebrows looked ALMOST fully grown, just one gap. and the other was on its way, just not very thick. it was going really well for about a week or two where i didn't pull AT ALL. In the beginning, it was this ONE prickly hair that was driving me crazy that motivated me to make my promise to God. At first, I just told him I wouldn't pull that one, as much as it PAINED me and then i figured I should just promise all the eyebrows. no matter how much i tried to forget it, it was driving my absolutely nuts! Then a couple more pickly ones showed up and i seriously just couldn't take it.
I kept thinking about my promise though, but one day i snapped. I started thinking about my Grandmother. About 9 years ago, my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer. She absolutely hated how I bit my nails, and when she got sick, I promised her I would stop biting them. And I told God I would stop biting them if he would help her and prayed everynight for her to get better. However, she passed away in a few months after that.
Once I started thinking of that I got angry that I was making another promise which was just giving me anxiety from the frustration of not being able to pull... all for a miracle that won't happen. And then I started to pull again. I figured if I'm not going to get him back I might as well get rid of that damn prickly hair! and then i took a few more hairs while I was at it.
Then I felt upset, because I felt like IF i had a chance at all, I had just blown it. Well I made another promise (after apologizing for breaking my first) and this time, its the eyebrows AND the eyelashes. And so far it is going much better.
I have started trying to teach myself that instead of the prickly hairs being the kind i need to get rid of, I'm trying to convince myself I want to feel more of them! (easier said than done but every day it gets a little better) Before, I figured hair would just grow back normal, and the prickly ones were hairs I must have accidentally broken while tweezing instead of getting them at the root. Well I think that is not the case and so I've mentally prepared myself for a whole face full of prickly hairs until they get long again and maybe go through a different hair cycle and start feeling normal again.
My other trick I'm trying, is that the hairs that grow in at the wrong angle, which also REALLY bother me...instead of pulling them I take my tweezer and actually try to bend them so they grow in the right direction. And for the most part that works!
Also, I read that when you start compulsively tapping, that its a similar area of the brain as the one that gets stimulated from pulling or other OCD behaviors. So when I need to pull, i start tapping. tap tap tap. and it actually does make the feeling go away some.
Right now, both of my eyelids have a full line of stubbly hairs growing in. No fully grown hairs, but stubblies that look like they will come back soon if I don't pull them, and it seems like I have no gaps. My eyebrows are taking their sweet time but they are also much improved...some stubblies and some regular hairs , just not thick enough for me to feel great about them yet. But eyebrow hairs take longer to grow in.
So i'm chugging along, and hopefully by new years I will see some full grown eyelashes and some much improved eyebrows!!!!
it was a really long post but if you want to refresh your memory here's the link :)
http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Trichotillomania_Hair_Pulling/forum/8453356-my-motivation-helping-me
and even though I'm not terribly religious, I told God I would stop pulling my eyebrows if he would bring my guy back to me.
Well for a while I was doing really really well! one of my eyebrows looked ALMOST fully grown, just one gap. and the other was on its way, just not very thick. it was going really well for about a week or two where i didn't pull AT ALL. In the beginning, it was this ONE prickly hair that was driving me crazy that motivated me to make my promise to God. At first, I just told him I wouldn't pull that one, as much as it PAINED me and then i figured I should just promise all the eyebrows. no matter how much i tried to forget it, it was driving my absolutely nuts! Then a couple more pickly ones showed up and i seriously just couldn't take it.
I kept thinking about my promise though, but one day i snapped. I started thinking about my Grandmother. About 9 years ago, my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer. She absolutely hated how I bit my nails, and when she got sick, I promised her I would stop biting them. And I told God I would stop biting them if he would help her and prayed everynight for her to get better. However, she passed away in a few months after that.
Once I started thinking of that I got angry that I was making another promise which was just giving me anxiety from the frustration of not being able to pull... all for a miracle that won't happen. And then I started to pull again. I figured if I'm not going to get him back I might as well get rid of that damn prickly hair! and then i took a few more hairs while I was at it.
Then I felt upset, because I felt like IF i had a chance at all, I had just blown it. Well I made another promise (after apologizing for breaking my first) and this time, its the eyebrows AND the eyelashes. And so far it is going much better.
I have started trying to teach myself that instead of the prickly hairs being the kind i need to get rid of, I'm trying to convince myself I want to feel more of them! (easier said than done but every day it gets a little better) Before, I figured hair would just grow back normal, and the prickly ones were hairs I must have accidentally broken while tweezing instead of getting them at the root. Well I think that is not the case and so I've mentally prepared myself for a whole face full of prickly hairs until they get long again and maybe go through a different hair cycle and start feeling normal again.
My other trick I'm trying, is that the hairs that grow in at the wrong angle, which also REALLY bother me...instead of pulling them I take my tweezer and actually try to bend them so they grow in the right direction. And for the most part that works!
Also, I read that when you start compulsively tapping, that its a similar area of the brain as the one that gets stimulated from pulling or other OCD behaviors. So when I need to pull, i start tapping. tap tap tap. and it actually does make the feeling go away some.
Right now, both of my eyelids have a full line of stubbly hairs growing in. No fully grown hairs, but stubblies that look like they will come back soon if I don't pull them, and it seems like I have no gaps. My eyebrows are taking their sweet time but they are also much improved...some stubblies and some regular hairs , just not thick enough for me to feel great about them yet. But eyebrow hairs take longer to grow in.
So i'm chugging along, and hopefully by new years I will see some full grown eyelashes and some much improved eyebrows!!!!
As for the ex-boyfriend, forget him. He or no-one else whouldn't be your motivator, in my opinion, you are worthy to grow your brows FOR YOU!
I suggest reading aroung this forum, there are plethora of wonderful ideas of how to help resist the impulses. I personally love taping my fingertips of my pulling hand with flexible medical tape, it's so simple yet effective! Ofcourse if you use usually tweesers this might not work for you. (It works for me because it prevents me from feeling the coarse head hairs that are my trigger).
Oh, and what I noticed while reading your post, is that you brows looked so much better after just one week of no pulling, I am right? I think that is wonderful news and if it was me, that would be a huge motivator for me. If they look so much better after 1 week, they must look amazing after w, 3 and 4 weeks!!!
*cheering you*
One I especially wasnt to correct is:
--- He or no-one else Shouldn't be
I'm glad that you have a connection to God, don't take this the wrong way, but we are given trials to find our own way thru.
I'm sorry to hear about your Grandmother passing away. It is hard to lose a loved one.
I don't remember if you mentioned when it was that you started pulling. Was it around the time your G'ma passed?
As for your tweezers. Try putting them away. Some place them in a shallow container add water and freeze them. The idea is that you have to plan for a grooming session then you take the container out and let it room thaw, no rushing with hot water. That way you can't get to them to satisfy an urge.
Others get some fancy stationary and use the envelope. You seal the tweezers in the envelope, draw some nice artwork on it or put stickers, etc. The idea is that once you open the envelope you have to throw it away. The thought of wasting money to use a new one to reseal them helps. Not to mention destroying your artwork.
"I'm glad that you have a connection to God, don't take this the wrong way, but we are given trials to find our own way thru."
God will help but isn't going to take it all away with a magic wand. With prayer and working on your thoughts and actions, learning new actions. God gives direction but you have to drive the car *s*
You have driven your car here to DS and this board. God gave you the directions to find us. He knows that finding others like yourself will help you help yourself.