Trichotillomania (Hair Pulling) Support Group
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Okay so I don't think ive seen this topic on DS but need some advice. Ive never been a confident person due to the trich. Ive always been shy and quiet. I have never really had problems dating or keeping boyfriends due to the trich. But at times, it bothers me. I always tell people that im in relationships with about the situation. Ive been seeing this guy whos amazing. Were moving in together at the end of the month. So its going good. Hes aware of the situation and is okay with it. But when it comes to the bedroom stuff, at times I get really anxious. I wear wigs and hair pieces. And sometimes I get so worried that its going to slip and I get so uncomfortable that I have to stop and run to the bathroom to fix it and then start crying while hiding in the bathroom. He doesn't know that that is the reason why. And its very hard to get back in the mood after that. Especially knowing that during intimacy, people like to touch or pull hair. Or run the fingers or hands through each others hair. And he knows why I wont let him but it really bothers me. I love the feeling of his hair through my fingers. I don't pull it or anything but I know he would like to do it to me as well but cant. its so frusterating at times. It takes away a lot of the intimacy for me.
Just wondering if anyone has any advice for me. its really hard for me. Ive been trying to just deal with it and let it go. trying not to think about it. but everytime we start to get intimate, its in the back of my mind.
I am a young women so I would really like some advice from a female if possible..someone whos experienced this too. How did you handle it and what did you do to cope..
Just wondering if anyone has any advice for me. its really hard for me. Ive been trying to just deal with it and let it go. trying not to think about it. but everytime we start to get intimate, its in the back of my mind.
I am a young women so I would really like some advice from a female if possible..someone whos experienced this too. How did you handle it and what did you do to cope..
I understand when it comes to relationships, because I feel uncomfortable when it comes to being intimate and I wear eyeliner because I pluck my eyelashes, but am conscious of it rubbing off so I am paranoid about that, because I don't want anyone seeing my bald eyelids. Even with our Trich, if someone cares for us, that won't bother them. At least you discuss the matter with folks, I haven't. Keep your head up. When a guy is getting some, that will be the last thing on his mind, so you'll be fine. Either keep them off, throw on a bandana, or keep the pieces on & try to use bobby pins or clips to try to keep them in place.
this can be difficult and i too have felt awkward around this due to my hair being out of place and showing a spot. my boyfriend of 3 years does not know about my situation, but i know if i told him he would be understanding.
i think that it says a lot about him if you felt comfortable enough to tell him about your trich and that it's wonderful that he is okay with it. i wanted to echo what ebbihamp said, "if someone cares for us, that won't bother them" so no matter what you feel the most comfortable with wearing or not wearing, it sounds like he will be okay with this too.
especially when my boyfriend has longer and nicer hair then mine (I suspect he keeps it long for me since I mentioned once that I love long hair). If we watch a movie at his apartment he tells me that I don't need that hat inside and that I look beautiful and everything, but it's really hard to train the need for cover out after so many years of covering my head. (it's like the need for a shirt at this point!)
These past months though I feel better about not wearing a hat when it's just us, but it's something I've had to ease out of even if it's only uncovering for a few minutes here and there it's progress!
Take your time and maybe you should tell him how you're feeling about all of this? He might be able to help somehow don't just suffer alone. You don't have to go too specific about everything all at once ( i tried that and mine almost had his brain explode with too much information at once). Just take it slow, sharing is all part of a relationship.