I am a male and I shut my parents out at that age in the terms of trich. We have arr close otherwise. It is my opinion that this something she has to conquer on her own. I remember begging my parents to buy those guaranteed to stop scam videos and they wouldn't do it. I think what would've helped me most is to ask her to sit down with you and (without changing your tone to anger) simply ask how you can help. This never happened for me. But I desperately longed for answers. But I never talked to anyone. She'll say you can't help. She is right. Again, this is my opinion. But it's true you need to help her not feel alone. I've only ever told my best friend. One person. I told because I was desperate to stop. And I asked him to help me shave my head.

Help her every so often by asking what progress she has made. Today I am writing about it here. I have been pulling for 13 years. I've started 8 days ago on here about my progress. Though no one may read it - this is the first time I've been able to sit sty my house or in my car and not pull.I've never taken meds. I won't do that..ever. I take some vitamins that might make my hair grow faster but that's it.

Sorry if my comments have been tangential but I am on my phone and creating a well thought out comment via a small keyboard is something I am not good at. Haha keep in touch. I'll give you all the advice I have and tell you everything I experienced. I'm sorry your daughter has to go through this.

When I did this as a teenager, my Mother was hurt by seeing the hair next to the chair where I sat. I was stressed because my Mom & Dad were arguing and he threatened to move to another state and take me along to "keep house". My Mom took me to her therapist and I had a few sessions with him. It was enough of a help that I was able to stop and have my hair grow back in. I feel for you in your situation. It does feel helpless. I've been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, PTSD, learning disabilities, and depression/anxiety as an adult. I'm 58 now. Occasionally I still pull a couple out as I live alone now. But I'm more mindful and can stop more easily. I just want to encourage you to hang in there. If you have faith in God, you could pray for her. I wish I had the thick, curly hair I had as a teenager before pulling.

Just tell her you love her and are there for her if she wants to talk. Let her know you love her unconditionally. Trich is usually triggered by trauma, anxiety, stress, depression. Something has triggered it for her, and it soon becomes a habit that is very difficult to break. Also you could offer her the opportunity to talk to a therapist, although she may not be willing and it is something you can not force.
Maybe you could mention this forum and suggest she might want to join it, to get support from those who are going through the same thing. I think it would be helpful.
Good for you that you are searching for help for your daughter, and that you found this forum and joined and posted here. That shows you are there for her and willing to help in any way you can.
I hope she will join us here. We will welcome her, as we welcome you.

We have taken her to a therapist. I'm not sure it's been a lot of help. She is not at a point where she want's to talk about it with us. I really appreciate you guys input.

Hi - I hope all is well with your daughter, just realize it's a struggle. It's not on purpose. I don't know how old your daughter is? Sometimes it helps for her to talk to other people with the same problem. Good luck!

I think it's really great that you're reaching out for help. I started pulling out my eyelashes and eyebrows when I was 8 (over 20 years ago). When my parents first confronted me, they tried a reward system by which they would buy me things if I could go a certain amount of time without picking. This worked in the short run, but eventually I could buy my own things, and the long term damage is that the reward/punishment dynamic increased my feelings of shame and embarrassment. Eventually, I couldn't talk to my parents about it because it felt like I was letting them down. They tried to put me on prozac but that was a disaster. The shame and embarrassment was so strong that I couldn't talk to anyone about it. I just covered it up with make-up and avoided situations where anyone would see me without make-up. I just got up the courage recently to talk to a counselor about it. She talked to me about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. The trigger (anxiety, etc.) causes the behavior (trich) which leads to consequences (not having eyelashes, etc.). For a lot of us, the consequences cause the trigger and we get stuck in a cycle. The behavior itself isn't necessarily a problem, in fact, for me, it's a nurturing act I picked up to deal with anxiety. As I learn to stop seeing trich as the enemy, I stop feeling the pressure of being in a battle, which causes less anxiety, which means less triggers. The people that have been most helpful for me have been the people that don't see trich as a problem. They acknowledge and affirm that I may see it that way, but they don't. They accept me, trich and all, no matter where I am with it. By putting the focus on the trigger, and working to relieve stress and anxiety (especially the stress and anxiety that I have about having this condition), I've naturally come to need the behavior less. I hope that's helpful.

Hello, I started pulling when I was seven or eight years old. I still pull
But am in the process of trying to change my lifestyle to help me stop. So that makes it 21 years I have been doing it, and I am a female as well. My mother had an extremely difficult time accepting that I did it, and it hurt my parents. I honestly feel that my pulling started because my dad was an alcoholic, and my life was chaotic as a child. Pulling was the only thing that I could control. I also felt like I have always had a problem with my eyes itching, which did not help. My parents would ask me why I did it or why I would not stop? That did not help matters, and until I felt comfortable talking about it... 21 years later to present day, I feel relief. My mother was loving and encouraged me to go to therapy. Therapy as a young girl did not work because I wanted to keep to myself and not allow
others in to speak about something so personal that I was ashamed of. Tell your daughter that you love her, which I don't doubt you do. Just express your love and ask her how you can help or if there is anything that makes her want to do it. She may be have an answer for that, but if there is any stress or trigger that makes her want to do that, it is worth a try. Regardless, just let her know that she is beautiful. Maybe with time, she will be more vocal about it. I have read a book called How to Stop Pulling Out Your Hair. In the back, it has helpful ways to approach a loved one that pulls out their hair. I absolutely loved this book, but I read it from the point of view as a hair puller. Maybe reading some materials will help you approach this in a way that you feel better. Your efforts matter. Don't stop. Be persistent but be gentle and kind. This is difficult to live with. But it can be treated if you are willing to address it. It has taken me a long time, but I have changed my diet a little bit, reduces stress in my life, and yoga has helped immensely. Basically, unconditional love is key, and if your daughter doesn't recognize your love now... She will with time.

I am wondering what you have done in the past 4 months. I am interested in hearing any updates you have.

I hope things are going well for you. I just joined this group, and posted about how eliminating refined sugar ended my and my daughter's trich. I've been pull-free for over six months. If your daughter decides to try this route, please let me know if it works!

Thanks everyone. Things have really not improved very much. We may go a week or too with not much pull then we get a bad day. Overall she has a little more hail but still missing a significant amount right on top of her head.

Hi, I started pulling when I was 12. My parent's reaction to it was terrible. I'm 49 now and I still remember how awful they made me feel. If you are willing to try supplements, NAC (N-Acetyl-Cysteine) has helped me tremendously. I would check with her doctor first. Over all the years nothing else has helped me.

I know what your daughter is going through. I started pulling around the age of 9 or 10 and it was tough. My parents reacted with anger at first and tried a lot to get to me to stop. Some of their methods were forcing me to wear a hate, threatening to shave my head, etc. It only made things worse. However, over time, things got better and they realized that the best thing they could do was be there for me when I needed emotional support.

Basically- you can't force your daughter to stop. Nothing on earth can until she herself is ready to. It may not make much sense- but sometimes we're just not ready to stop pulling. When the day comes that she gets the strength to fight this, let her know you'll do everything you can to help her along. I've written a post about my experience and how I managed to stop- it's got some tips that helped me along. Show this to her- give her the tools and support she needs to stop so that when she's ready, she will have a place to start.

She may not be ready for months to years- or maybe ever. But until then, trying to force change will only worsen the situation. The most important thing you can do until then is be there for her. At her age, having trichotillomania may be impacting her at school. She might have few friends or be bullied for it. She might even hide things like this from you. Make it known that regardless of what goes on you will be there for her. It helps for her to have someone who accepts her despite her trichotillomania. I know it helped me knowing I could turn to my brothers when I was feeling alone or down. Even my parents as they grew to understand things a bit better.

I wish you the best of luck!

My parents noticed my trich when it was too late. My dad threatened to shave my head and I did it myself. If she's not ready to go bald, sit her down and ask her why she doesn't feel wanted or she doesn't feel like she receives the attention she deserves. Also, ask her about her friends. It could be socially related anxiety. If it's none of the above, ask her if she likes the feeling she feels whe she pulls. I'm 27 and I still like it. It's like a release. Ask her if it makes her feel better to pull.