Trichotillomania (Hair Pulling) Support Group
Impulsive control disorder is the inability to resist an urge, temptation, or impulse, even when it may cause negative effects to the self or to others. If you or a loved one suffers from impulsive contorl disorder, join the community to find support and share your challenges with others who know what you're going through.
Hi all , it's been along time since my last log in . i'm so sorry for not supporting others as you are to me .
Right now i'm just very annoyed and disappointed and i just want to tell someone about my feelings , someone who really understands my situation .
So many thoughts in my mind . and i'll try my best to order them .
Sell . just a short info about me .i'm 21st years old female, 4th year medical student ,from Jordan in middle east , i think i have TTM since i was 12 .i used to have long black hair , now as i shaved my head several times it's very thin short with small bold spots esp in the anterior part of my head .actually my the anterior part is very thing as i pull them regularly and so i wear a band all the time .
i'm a Muslim and i wear Hijab (scarf for head) when i go out ever since i was 9 , so that makes it easy for me to go out side without any worries .
now in my religion it's forbidden to wear a hair wig , except in some circumstances , i didn't ask if it's allowed in my case or not hoping that i'll stop soon , but it seems i have to ask .
the first time i felt that the ttm affected my life was in my brother's wedding , i was 17 , i went to a beauty salon to get my make up , but i couldn't remove my band to make a hairstyle as my hair was toooo short and then ,that really made me sad . second time was in my younger sister wedding .
( university )
the biggest challenge for me was when i went to uni , it's so far from where i live so i had to take a room in the student housing , being unable to uncover my hair around the girls made most of them asking about the reason and i just made up any excuses ( all of them were with me in the same college as the building was made only for med students) . I always sleep covering my head with a blanket so that my roommate can't see my hair ( though she is the only one now who knows about my ttm ). it's not a problem now as i rent an apartment with her , each one has her own room. but still when we gather with our friends in the apartment for a girl night , i always try to change the subject when they talk about their hair .
i always think and ask my self what am i going to do in such events as my sisters weddings or my friends graduation party ( the most sooner one is on January 2014) , but the most important what would i do in my own graduation party , or much worse if anyone came to engage me .
this is the main reason that got me upset and made me write to you , last week a newly graduated doctor ( from the same uni of mine ) came and asked me if it's possible to give him my family address so that his family can come to ask me for marriage , i was shocked and couldn't say anything at first as i don't talk much to guys except about studying . as i managed to talk i told him that it's too early for me to get married as i have 3 more years to finish my study and other reasons , but he said that he can wait and that he is sorry for embarrassing me asking me such question ( as it's a tradition here that the man's family ask the gir's family not the girl directly ) and then he said :"i know it's not appropriate to discuss this here -in the hospital- so i'll try to get your address later or plz send it to me on FB."
he managed to get my address from a friend of mine and he talked to my dad and his family is coming this thursday , i'm not worried about it this time as i'm not planning to get married or engaged before i finish my study , so i'm just going to say no . but i thought what if i'm now finished what would i do ?!
many other thoughts in my mind , all of them starts with what if ?, what would i do ? and when this will end ?
Right now i'm just very annoyed and disappointed and i just want to tell someone about my feelings , someone who really understands my situation .
So many thoughts in my mind . and i'll try my best to order them .
Sell . just a short info about me .i'm 21st years old female, 4th year medical student ,from Jordan in middle east , i think i have TTM since i was 12 .i used to have long black hair , now as i shaved my head several times it's very thin short with small bold spots esp in the anterior part of my head .actually my the anterior part is very thing as i pull them regularly and so i wear a band all the time .
i'm a Muslim and i wear Hijab (scarf for head) when i go out ever since i was 9 , so that makes it easy for me to go out side without any worries .
now in my religion it's forbidden to wear a hair wig , except in some circumstances , i didn't ask if it's allowed in my case or not hoping that i'll stop soon , but it seems i have to ask .
the first time i felt that the ttm affected my life was in my brother's wedding , i was 17 , i went to a beauty salon to get my make up , but i couldn't remove my band to make a hairstyle as my hair was toooo short and then ,that really made me sad . second time was in my younger sister wedding .
( university )
the biggest challenge for me was when i went to uni , it's so far from where i live so i had to take a room in the student housing , being unable to uncover my hair around the girls made most of them asking about the reason and i just made up any excuses ( all of them were with me in the same college as the building was made only for med students) . I always sleep covering my head with a blanket so that my roommate can't see my hair ( though she is the only one now who knows about my ttm ). it's not a problem now as i rent an apartment with her , each one has her own room. but still when we gather with our friends in the apartment for a girl night , i always try to change the subject when they talk about their hair .
i always think and ask my self what am i going to do in such events as my sisters weddings or my friends graduation party ( the most sooner one is on January 2014) , but the most important what would i do in my own graduation party , or much worse if anyone came to engage me .
this is the main reason that got me upset and made me write to you , last week a newly graduated doctor ( from the same uni of mine ) came and asked me if it's possible to give him my family address so that his family can come to ask me for marriage , i was shocked and couldn't say anything at first as i don't talk much to guys except about studying . as i managed to talk i told him that it's too early for me to get married as i have 3 more years to finish my study and other reasons , but he said that he can wait and that he is sorry for embarrassing me asking me such question ( as it's a tradition here that the man's family ask the gir's family not the girl directly ) and then he said :"i know it's not appropriate to discuss this here -in the hospital- so i'll try to get your address later or plz send it to me on FB."
he managed to get my address from a friend of mine and he talked to my dad and his family is coming this thursday , i'm not worried about it this time as i'm not planning to get married or engaged before i finish my study , so i'm just going to say no . but i thought what if i'm now finished what would i do ?!
many other thoughts in my mind , all of them starts with what if ?, what would i do ? and when this will end ?
drttm
it seems that i wrote this one so fast making a lot of mistakes , but you can manage understanding what i wrote . sorry the grammar as i'm not that prof in English ;)
deleted_user
I understand your English just fine! I'm sorry that I don't have any advice, but I also have avoided relationships because I'm worried of what guys will think about my ttm, so I know how you feel!
Join the Conversation