Trichotillomania (Hair Pulling) Support Group
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Gosh! i'm just so freaking aggravated right now i feel like venting!!! i was talking to my boyfriend about how excited I am that I have an appointment with a hypnotherapist...and he goes on to ask if I have been picking my hairs recently...my parents JUST found out about 2 weeks ago that I have trich, and they also feel the need to ask IF i have been picking....and I don't understand because I have had trich for about over 10 years now, YES i'm still picking! ive never stopped! if i do stop, I stop for maybe a couple days and it starts again. I haven't been able to over come it so I finally started seeing doctors and therapists because I know that I need help...
whenever i tell my mom that i indeed still am picking, she keeps asking, "well, now that you have told people and you want to stop why do you keep doing it? or don't you feel like you want to stop" its like...they don't understand that I ALWAYS pick my hairs out, i don't go a day without doing it...when i'm "Better", it just means i'm pulling less numbers, not that i'm not pulling at all...
i don't know how many times i have to tell them that i have never WANTED to be a hair puller!!! i literally cannot help it! and i just got FURIOUS with my boyfriend because he asked if i had been picking lately, and i said "yes of course... i can't help it"...and he said "yes you can"....and it just pisses me off!! they make it sound like i'm being stubborn or something, that I LIKE looking in the mirror and seeing what a freak i look like without eyelashes and eyebrows...ive had people tell me I look like a cancer patient!
i dont understand how they could feel that the reason i haven't stopped is because i dont want to, i dont WANT to try hard enough! i WANT to pull out my hair! its just so frustrating i dont know what to say or how to say it to make them understand that i DONT want to...that there is a neurological problem that makes me do it, and i'm seeing doctors because i WANT TO STOP....if i wanted to be stubborn, i wouldn't have gotten help or told anyone about it....
i'm just venting....
just whenever i hear the "yes you can, you're just not trying" from people, it just drives me up the wall!!!!!!
whenever i tell my mom that i indeed still am picking, she keeps asking, "well, now that you have told people and you want to stop why do you keep doing it? or don't you feel like you want to stop" its like...they don't understand that I ALWAYS pick my hairs out, i don't go a day without doing it...when i'm "Better", it just means i'm pulling less numbers, not that i'm not pulling at all...
i don't know how many times i have to tell them that i have never WANTED to be a hair puller!!! i literally cannot help it! and i just got FURIOUS with my boyfriend because he asked if i had been picking lately, and i said "yes of course... i can't help it"...and he said "yes you can"....and it just pisses me off!! they make it sound like i'm being stubborn or something, that I LIKE looking in the mirror and seeing what a freak i look like without eyelashes and eyebrows...ive had people tell me I look like a cancer patient!
i dont understand how they could feel that the reason i haven't stopped is because i dont want to, i dont WANT to try hard enough! i WANT to pull out my hair! its just so frustrating i dont know what to say or how to say it to make them understand that i DONT want to...that there is a neurological problem that makes me do it, and i'm seeing doctors because i WANT TO STOP....if i wanted to be stubborn, i wouldn't have gotten help or told anyone about it....
i'm just venting....
just whenever i hear the "yes you can, you're just not trying" from people, it just drives me up the wall!!!!!!
that was 20 years ago. it just so happens that in the last few weeks, i have educated her on everything about trich - everything she didn't know but really should have... she caused some very serious issues with me besides the hair pulling...
but you know, she really did not know how to handle her only daughter pulling out all her hair. she was scared, and reacted poorly. she herself has issues with not being in control, and when she saw there was nothing nothing noooothing she could do to stop me from pulling my hair, she resorted to extremes.
your family is having a hard time understanding because they don't know what trich is. trich is a disorder. it is a very real, very serious issue for a person to live with. you need to educate them now. be proactive in doing this, because your family can be a support for you - a positive one. but they don't know how. not yet. you must help them get there, so they can help you as well. many trich websites have pretty specific ideas for families and parents of people with trich - it is that important!!
for now, try to forgive them for the fact that they are really being annoying. it stems from ignorance - not because they mean ill (because they don't) but because they don't know how best to help you. once they understand that this is not just some weird "twitch" then they will lay off. or else. just send them to mamma phrannie here, i'll give them an earful. ;)
they definitely need some facts. they seem to be thinking it's a habit and so are having the same reaction they might have if they noticed you bite your nails. i would find some good info about trich, print it out, and give it to them when you talk to them. or if you can't talk to them, just add a note up the top along the lines of "i need your support. i wish i could just stop, but it's not that simple"
and if you're not sure how they can help you yet, check out the post on Do's/Don'ts. it has lots of ideas from different people on how they'd like those close to them to support them to beat trich.
good luck, and let us know how you find the hypnotherapist!