Hi, i am 17 years old. Before you look at my age and think "stupid teenagers and their fake anxieties", hear me out. I have been struggling with Trich since about a week or two before my 10th birthday. I tried years of therapy, medications, i tried almost everything. Last year, on October 9th, i made the decision to attempt to quit cold-turkey. Surprisingly, it worked! It was truly a miracle! I was amazed at how much more confident and happy i was. Two months later, on December 1st 2016, my mother passed away. Her death took a lot out of me physically and, of course, emotionally. However, despite the recent event, i still remained pull-free. I was doing really well, i found a boy whom i've been dating for a while now (yesterday was actually our anniversary), im still grieving but ive come to acceptance with my mother's passing, my grades are good. Life is perfect. Of course, if that were true, i wouldn't have stumbled upon this group. Well, long story short, this past October i had a relapse. I dont remember anything specific that triggered it, and i dont even remember pulling the first hair, or even the first few hairs. It was as if i had lost control of my hands, my mind, yet again. It is now 3 months later and i look my absolute worst. I am embarrassed, i am dissapointed, i am ugly again. My boyfriend is very supportive and he tries his best to help & understand, but sometimes i wonder if i even deserve happiness anymore. I want, more than anything, to stop pulling again. If there is anybody out there that has advice or has successfully recovered, please please please help me. This is my last hope.