Trichotillomania (Hair Pulling) Support Group
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I feel the need to ramble tonight, so here I am!
To anyone that maybe remember past posts of mine throughout the year, I've had some drama in regards to my love life. To make a long story short, I've had feelings for a friend of mine for over a year now. Last year I had confessed my feelings to him, things got weird and complicated. We actually stopped being friends for a while. Now we are friends again,and spending more time together than we ever have, but he's still not interested in me that way and I'm trying my best to not let my feelings get in the way of our friendship.
One thing about him is that he likes girls to be very natural. I've always been used to wearing a lot of makeup in general, that's just how I have always been and always felt I looked best. Then I have to wear the false eyelashes and eyebrow pencil to cover up my pulling. On top of the false eyelashes, I usually put eyeliner and eyeshadow on because I feel like it makes it less noticeable I'm wearing false lashes.
He's made comments multiple times about the false eyelashes and how he feels I would look better if I didn't wear makeup. And it makes me feel so upset because I don't wear them out of vanity, I wear them because I'm hiding the damage I've done to my eyes. :(
Anyway, the moral of this story is, my strong feelings for him make me a lot more self conscious than I normally feel about the false eyelashes. A LOT MORE. And even though I sorta feel completely heartbroken when I'm around him lately (especially as he tells me about his dating life), it has been an INCREDIBLE motivation for me to stop pulling.
I've actually been staying over at his place a lot and sleeping on the couch. I tend to pull late at night when I'm all by myself so staying with him totally removes that stimulus to pull. This coupled with my desire to be able to NOT wear fake eyelashes in front of him, I've been doing REALLY well on the pulling front and I'm very excited with all the progress I've made.
I have this image in my head of him being able to see me without any fake eyelashes on and how proud I'm going to feel about myself. He's still not going to have feelings for me, I know that...but hell, if it gets me to stop pulling my eyelashes, then I guess enduring the heartache will be worth it. Maybe it will give me back some of the self confidence I have lost over the years because of Trich and him rejecting me that I won't care what he thinks about me anymore and can help me move on from him!
My goal is to have my eyelashes fully grown in by my birthday in mid-January. And my eyebrows by spring break because I know those take longer to grow. This might be too soon...but hopefully with NO pulling and Latisse every night it can happen.
Who knows. Those are my rambles for today. Thanks for listening :)
To anyone that maybe remember past posts of mine throughout the year, I've had some drama in regards to my love life. To make a long story short, I've had feelings for a friend of mine for over a year now. Last year I had confessed my feelings to him, things got weird and complicated. We actually stopped being friends for a while. Now we are friends again,and spending more time together than we ever have, but he's still not interested in me that way and I'm trying my best to not let my feelings get in the way of our friendship.
One thing about him is that he likes girls to be very natural. I've always been used to wearing a lot of makeup in general, that's just how I have always been and always felt I looked best. Then I have to wear the false eyelashes and eyebrow pencil to cover up my pulling. On top of the false eyelashes, I usually put eyeliner and eyeshadow on because I feel like it makes it less noticeable I'm wearing false lashes.
He's made comments multiple times about the false eyelashes and how he feels I would look better if I didn't wear makeup. And it makes me feel so upset because I don't wear them out of vanity, I wear them because I'm hiding the damage I've done to my eyes. :(
Anyway, the moral of this story is, my strong feelings for him make me a lot more self conscious than I normally feel about the false eyelashes. A LOT MORE. And even though I sorta feel completely heartbroken when I'm around him lately (especially as he tells me about his dating life), it has been an INCREDIBLE motivation for me to stop pulling.
I've actually been staying over at his place a lot and sleeping on the couch. I tend to pull late at night when I'm all by myself so staying with him totally removes that stimulus to pull. This coupled with my desire to be able to NOT wear fake eyelashes in front of him, I've been doing REALLY well on the pulling front and I'm very excited with all the progress I've made.
I have this image in my head of him being able to see me without any fake eyelashes on and how proud I'm going to feel about myself. He's still not going to have feelings for me, I know that...but hell, if it gets me to stop pulling my eyelashes, then I guess enduring the heartache will be worth it. Maybe it will give me back some of the self confidence I have lost over the years because of Trich and him rejecting me that I won't care what he thinks about me anymore and can help me move on from him!
My goal is to have my eyelashes fully grown in by my birthday in mid-January. And my eyebrows by spring break because I know those take longer to grow. This might be too soon...but hopefully with NO pulling and Latisse every night it can happen.
Who knows. Those are my rambles for today. Thanks for listening :)
Stay positive-and strong...I'm glad you are keeping in touch here on the support group I think communication is a healthy. Hugs...
Perhaps trying to go a bit lighter with the makeup would free you in a way...it is worth a shot.
HOWEVER, as a person who did not marry until I was almost 37...I can tell you that it is not always the best idea to surround yourself with someone who does not want a relationship the way that you do. I know that it is painful and the worst feeling in the world, but there will be someone out there who values you for you and that everything will click. Maybe try to not be so available and to pursue some of your own interests for the time being -if he wants to get together, great...but just don't linger and be so available. You deserve to be with someone romantically who adores you...