Trichotillomania (Hair Pulling) Support Group

Impulsive control disorder is the inability to resist an urge, temptation, or impulse, even when it may cause negative effects to the self or to others. If you or a loved one suffers from impulsive contorl disorder, join the community to find support and share your challenges with others who know what you're going through.

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I'm back ...

So last time I was on here, was 12/27/16. I've relapsed since then, in a number of times. In case you haven't read my story, I've been battling this for 12 years. It's not something I can just stop. It's not nearly that simple. It's that thing that you do when youre bored, stressed, or anxious. It's that thing that makes you content for a split second. Until you realize the impact that it had, or you see the bald spots. Then you get that lump in your throat. That regret. The embarassment. Like "Oh shit. How am I supposed to cover that now?!" Summer is here. I can't just wear a hair piece to the pool and beach. And what am I going to say when my boyfriend asks to see my hair down? It's been 7 months, and he's never seen me with my hair down. I know that he would probably love me through this, but I'm not comfortable with it. I've never opened up about it to anyone, except my mom. I'm not telling him. I'm just trying to stop so that he never has to ask me. But how? How can I stop something that has been apart of my life for years; for over a decade. I've read articles about wearing gloves and socks on your hands, but you can just take them off. I've been through therapy and medications. I have fidget spinners and fidget cubes. I have things that are supposed to help me. But it's not all about feeling the hair in my fingers. It's about feeling it slowly coming out of my scalp. Feeling that tug and release. About seeing that pulpy root and gliding it onto my lips and into my mouth. It's about the experience. But I'm done. I want to stop. I truley can't take it anymore. I wanna look good and sexy for my boyfriend. I wanna let my hair down. I wanna do shit that other girls can do. Help me out! If you have any suggestions on what I should do,l just comment or hmu .. please.

Replies

Lovefromgracie
Lovefromgracie

I know you strictly said you dont want to do this, but you should tell him. You dont have to show him but you said you knew he would love you through it and thats something really valuable. Maybe he can help. I know this isnt the same but I have had friends who, instead of cutting, pretend they are cutting me or someone they love and thats really helps them stop. So maybe pretend you are doing it to a sibling, pet, friend, or family member and see if it helps.
KeepCalm_CarryOn
KeepCalm_CarryOn

I've had the same problem, I'm pretty sure he knows but I'm afraid to admit it to him. Something about saying it out loud is just scary and brings tears to my eyes. I know he will still love me for who I am but he has his own issues (bipolar disorder) and I don't know how he will take it or be even able to handle it the right way.
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