Every now and then when I feel like it's (that's what I will refer to "trich" as for future reference) getting bad or even really remember or realize that I have it (today it was when I got out of the shower) I find a website about it and read about other people's experiences. Sometimes I just forget that it's a disease or disorder and tell myself it's the same as people who compulsively bite their nails. Although it may be somewhat similar in theory, it is no where near similar when it comes to the social acceptability of the two disorders or whatever they are classified as. I'm not really sure if my friends are aware of what I do; I'm pretty sure they have seen the bald spots when my hair happens to get messed up or it shows through a little bit, but they all have the tact not to say anything if they have noticed.

As a little background, I've been doing this since about 5th grade. My best friend had thin hair and mine was extremely thick. I remember looking at one of my brushes in my bathroom and thinking that we shed anyways so I may help it along a little and just pull a few out myself and maybe it will get thinner. Obviously, it got too thin but by then I couldn't stop. About that same time there was an outbreak of lice (gross I know) at my elementary school. I was terrified of getting it and after I started pulling my hair I kept feeling these itching sensations. I learned much later that this comes along with the disorder, but at the time I thought it was lice and that if I pulled out the hairs that were itched I could get the lice out. I thought the roots were lice.

I remember the first time my parents found out and asked me about it. I was so embarrassed and told them I shaved it, I think, and then confessed what was really happening. They made me go to therapy for a while but I'm cynical (even as a young child) and didn't allow myself to take advantage of it. I stopped going after two times.
Now I just wonder when will it ever stop; the possibility of just quitting seems to become more of a fantasy with each passing year. But, I'm a naturally optimistic person, so I'm hoping someday I will just flip a switch and be able to realize when I'm doing it and make myself stop, rather than realizing it after I've been doing it several minutes.