I've never gone to a doctor or a therapist to see if I have trichotillomania... But after reading trough some of the posts on here I'm 99.9% positive that I have it. I've been dealing with it for about four years, I was 13 turning 14 years old. I am almost 18 now. I imagine a future everyday where I can just let my hair down and not have to cover certain spots. When I first started pulling it was on top of my head where there was a sore spot (for some reason those seem to be the best spots to pull) I ended up with about a quarter size bald spot. When it was that small it was very easy to hide. Then I started to pull around the bald spot and then the bald spot gradually ended up being about the size of my fist. I still am able to cover it -- I have a lot of hair. Well I don't have a bald spot anymore but I still pull and the hair that has grown back is in various lengths because of pulling and cutting it to my scalp -- my hair that has grown back isn't smooth like my other hair, it has a ruff texture (which makes me want to pull it out even more) and the hair that has grown back is fuzzy so if I don't braid my hair and just have it in a pony tail it's super noticeable that I have some weird hairs. I want to stop. I pull when I'm watching tv and I yell at myself every time. If I didn't love with my parents still (still in high school) I would not worry about hiding it at home. I hide it from my family. My mom knew when I first started and she didn't know why I did (neither did I) she doesn't know that it I'll continue to pull. She thinks that it was just that one time. It would be nice if I had daily motivation to help me stop.
I've been a picker for some years now. I was abused physically as a kid that caused me mental anguish that I haven't worked through yet. I was able to stop picking for a long while but in the last 8 years I started picking again but in a much more aggressive manner. My husband has made it clear to me tonight that he is disgusted by my picking and that I'm starting to look like an old bald man. I...