Hi, I'm new to this community but not new to this condition. I'm 22 and I've been pulling as long as I can remember, as early as 5 at least. This last year has been the first year I've been able to open up to anyone in my life about it, but I still struggle accepting it sometimes. I'm just here to know that I'm not alone. That other people feel what I feel, do what I do, and can still be productive human beings.
Why is my mood so easily dictated by the acceptance I receive from those around me? Honestly Snapmap could be used as a torture device, except instead it sends me into a spiral of torturing myself. Why am I so easily pushed towards cutting, something I know will only bring me more pain in the longrun than the temporary relief could even fathom, by some dumb shit like a text back. I place so much...
I have had a long history of depression . I have talked about my shoplifting and alcoholism. I have a history of silly communication in work. Saracatic texts. When people dont respond I sent an anoymous e mail to somebody in work giving out about an event. She figured out it was me.Im suicidal now. I have a son. Now im thinking of ending my life