Transgender Support Group

This community is here to support and help the large population of transgender people. If you or anyone you know identify as transgender, this is the place to share your feelings and experiences and speak with others who are going through similar things in their lives.

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Tinkerbella 04/14/2017

My husband xame out to me last October. I lost it. I begged to die. I felt shattered. I felt like my marriage was over. 12 years gone. After several hours of him holding me while I cried I accepted it and am doing my best to help and support him/her through this. I bought her a new wardrobe makeup wig tough her to shave how to sit walk and talk like a woman everything you can imagine. I even arranged a weekend getaway for her to go out totally as women with thousands of people and I held her hand kissed her told her I love her. I am not lesbian. .but I do it all for him/her. I have alot of pain still.. alot..scared so bad of loosing the love of my life. She has tons of people to support her. Groups doctors therapist. All saying how brave she is. We are her to help you.. but what about me? No groups no support. No one cares about the spouse . Like I don't matter or even exist. I am still shattered and desperately want my husband and marriage back the way it was but that is gone and I'm just supposed to be like yes this is good I want this I'm so happy right. Why don't I matter.I tried to commit suicide 2 nights ago. I wrote my letters had all the pills ready had everything ready. Then I heard god yell at me to stop. That hurt too.I just wanted this pain to stop.. how could he do this... I have no choice to accept it I love him to much.but I'm not a lesbian yet now I'm just supposed to want the MAN I married to become a woman I dont. What about me!!! No matter what I loose. It's not fair. I was/am a perfect wife. Just why don't I matter

Tinkerbella

Terriw 04/14/2017

Hi I know it's very hard what you going through. You do matter. Have you talked to a therapist. They need to be more support for spouses of trans. Wish I had more answers.

myhusband 04/14/2017

My thoughts and feelings exactly. Please reach out to someone. You need help and support. Are you talking to a therapist? Remember to put yourself first and take care of you. I'm here if you need to talk to someone. Please feel free to reach out to me. You are not alone.

Tinkerbella 04/14/2017

Thank you... it feels good to have someone validate my feelings

Lucy1109 04/15/2017

I really know How you feel. Its horrible, you feel like youre nothing, and we didnt want that, so why this is happening with us? Nobody cares with the other part. But we have our value. My advise for you its put yourself First, do a lot of research, find a therapist for yourself, and think a lot, you have a decision to take, who is more important for yourself? You or him?
In my case, after I have been Very pushed away from him, I discover that he changed his personality só much that the one that I loved wasnt there anymore, because he would never treat me as he were doing lately.
Go seek a therapist. Talk with friends. Ask for support, explain How you feel. You do matter
If you need to talk, Im always around here.

SARAcoldtears 04/15/2017

Please don't do anything silly life is too short your husband might look different on the out side but inside their still the same person talk to them talk to a therapist it will get better with time

supportneeded 04/18/2017

Tinkerbella, you are an extremely valuable person to this world and it would make a big difference to so many people if you were not here. I can't imagine the pain and anguish that you are going through. It must be hell on earth for you. Most of everything that you "knew" has been challenged and will continue to be so. You MUST talk to someone, face to face, heart to heart. Get these feelings out into the open. They will continue to poison you otherwise. If you were near to me I would give you a big hug and let you cry it all out. Please look after yourself, you ARE worthwhile and people here will listen to you

Kristine 04/20/2017

Understand only too well.

Lindsaybug25 04/21/2017

I understand what you are going through. It just happened to me and therapy is starting to help. So is researching answers for myself. Also asking my self what I am willing to do and not do to make my marriage work.

sj726 05/07/2017

I feel the same way, what about me? The therapists just say "keep on supporting him" "keep on pushing through and you will be happy." How can I be happy when I may loose my very masculine and muscular husband to becoming a female? I think we need to focus on our needs a little more. Please message me if you would like to talk. I feel we have the same feelings on this. I'm trying to go back to school so I can be more independent and my own person as I am a stay at home mom right now.

KellymarieCooper 05/29/2017

Sweetheart there are people out there willing to help to talk to to consolidate in I myself am married of 8 years to my wonderful beautiful wife and I am going through what your husband is only difference is she is supporting me %100 of the way but when all is said and done we will be getting a divorce because she is not attracted to woman at all. All I can say is talk to your husband she will understand and you two really need to be there for each other not just you there for her she needs to be there for you as well.

debbyann 06/20/2017

Hi I feel every bit of your pain I'm going through exactly the same pain. We have been together for 26 years when my partner decided to tell me he wanted to be a woman its been over a year now and I'm still in hell xx

Jensica 06/22/2017

Reach out to therapists or a local LGBTQ center - in this area there are more spouse support groups than there are for MTF's. There are lots for youth, for FTM, probably 4 or 5 for spouses but 1-2 for the trans person and they are limited hours and limited locations which pushes most back into therapy as a resource.

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