So once again another story about what's happened to me recently.. this one is just kinda stupid to talk about on my part but I feel I should because the way I've been treated isn't exactly helping me...

As per usual my parents got me to go out with them for a bit again... but today we went to my uncles house which I didn't know.. before my dad told me I had just finished learning how to tuck and I prepared everything and I had just finished doing it... my tuck was uncomfortable for a while and it kinda hurt when I sat down in the car and I figured I was probably doing it wrong.. I also put on one of my bras and stuffed it with some fabric from the clothing I used to make the tucking thing (I can't remember what it's called) and it made me feel pretty good when I looked in the mirror... I saw what I wanted to see.. I smiled for a few minutes before rushing out the door and leaving... when we got to my uncles house he was kinda confused and poked my chest.. he though I grew boobs or something I guess but my mom and dad told him I didn't... things went pretty smooth until we got home... 

About... I don't know 2 hours ago my dad started making gay jokes because of some contestants on the show we were watching... I stepped in and the conversation about how I wanted him to respect what I want and how I'd do anything to be called my preferred pronouns and name went for almost an hour and a half... I even said I'd start working for an allowance to earn money so I could buy my own clothes... my dad said that was fine... so now I guess I'm on a payroll to buy myself things and that made me happy... but then shit got worse.. I practically begged him to start calling me my preferred pronouns and name infront of almost everyone in the house and he said "sure! Once you've graduated made good grades have a job and moved out of my house" and he started laughing... it.. it really hurt to hear him talk like that.. not to mention he said he was "all for transitioning but I have to be of age before he'll respect my decision" or anything related to it... he then went on to make jokes about me... saying how I'll be fondled and raped by men at my highschool and how no one will ever truly love me... and all this stupid shit... it made me feel horrible... I was once again om the verge of tears in my own living room... my own home... the place I've felt safest for a long time.. I had even said to him "I already feel uncomfortable in my own skin so can you please just call me my preferred pronouns and do something to make me happy dad?"... those exact words came out of my mouth... yet he still didn't listen...

Before he went to bed he had said "Try not to become to much of a Charlottion overnight sweetheart~" and continued to tease and pick on me... I understand he wants me to have a thicker skin and I explained to him earlier that it was working... but now he says until I get better grades to NEVER mention being transgender again or until I'm 18 if I don't get better grades... and I'm assuming the second I graduate from highschool he's gonna kick me out...

He seems to insist on making me feel like shit daily... him acting transphobic yet saying he's "fully supportive and accepting" makes me feel worse cause I know he's not being truthful...

I'm probably just annoying people on this board so I'm sorry... goodnight...